Redirection

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

What If All Women Quit Working?

 Feminists always ask it as some sort of a "gotcha'' question. Who is going to be nurses and primary school teachers if all the women quit working??? 

Luckily here in Europe we don't have to reinvent the wheel. We just have to look back at the not-so-distant past (20th century) and what do we see?

First, the question itself (like everything about modern feminism) is very dishonest. All women don't have to quit working. It's enough if married women quit, the way it used to be in various countries, even stipulated by law. Not "mothers". Not "after the birth of 2nd child". Not "while the kids are in (primary) school." Married women, period. Because you can't serve 2 masters and the like.

And second, especially for the Catholic countries, it's a very easy answer. Nuns. That's who used to be nurses, school teachers and even doctors. Nuns used to run nursing home facilities. In Germany you still have hospitals with nuns working there. Here it used to be like this till somewhere in the 1960s, and there are TV shows from this period which depict it. 

There are still people alive who remember how the society used to be. In fact, most laws protecting the traditional family in my country weren't abolished in the 1950s, but rather in the beginning of the 2000s, after the transition to the Euro. It's thanks to to the EU and we all know (or should know) who is really behind this organisation. 

Nuns give an oath to serve the folk and are ideal for this type of jobs which demand real sacrifice sometimes (like night shifts in hospital or waking by the bed of a dying person). Make Christianity and religious vocation cool again and your problem is solved:)

 

Friday, December 1, 2023

What Boomers Did Wrong

 There was a lady once whose husband left her so she had to work. She got lucky, however, as she met a wealthy man who married her. They moved to a remote village where he bought a house. His job demanded that he'd go on business trips so that his wife was quite often alone, and, frankly rather bored at times. However, he was adamant about his wife staying home. What should I do then, when you are away? she asked. Our children are grown and live separately.

So her husband went to the store and came home with...a sewing machine! That's what you are going to be doing, he said. And she's been doing it ever since. 

"Based," you''ll say. There is one caveat to the story. The man in question didn't at all mind when his daughters turned to be feminists with a (high-powered) career. In fact, he encouraged them. And herein lies the problem with that whole generation.

Boomer men, at least in my country, in their majority didn't want their wives to work because they correctly estimated that when a woman has an income of her own, she is inclined to have her own way and doesn't really need her husband as much as when she is fully dependent on him. They were quite dominant and expected to be the boss at home. 

And by exactly the same reason, they raised their daughters to be feminists. Because the daughters were all little princesses and you can't expect a princess to submit to some unworthy guy, can you now? She is too good for that. So they taught them to be independent. Just like charity begins at home, feminism does, too...


Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Should Older Women Cut Their Hair Short?

 I'm not going to tell anyone what to do with their hair. I just wanted to share an old joke.

The husband comes home and first thing he sees, his wife had her long hair cut off. 

"How do you like my new haircut?" She asks. "This greyish long hair made me look so old. But I don't look like an old woman any more, do I?"

"No", the husband answers. "Now you look like an old man."

Please don't throw stones at me:) BTW, I think it's perfectly fine to dye the greying hair some nice colour. Preferably using natural dyes like henna. 

Monday, November 27, 2023

She Really Loves Money...

 I had a couple of conversations recently with/about women of totally different backgrounds and even ethnicity, yet the story I heard was the same.

One lady told me she basically doesn't need to work and her husband wouldn't mind if she quit, but she really loves money and independence it gives. To paraphrase: "Because if I quit, I will have to ask my husband's permission to buy stuff, and I really like buying stuff."

The other lady is older and keeps complaining about her bad heath, back pain etc but keeps on working close to full time, though, as her colleague reliably informed me, she has a wealthy husband, adult children and no need to work at all. When pressed, she said exactly the same thing: "I really love money and independence from my husband it gives."

I do find such honesty refreshing. No sappy stories about "how I really LOVE my job" and "what is there to do at home?" just the plain truth. That goes for the majority of the working women, btw. It's not entirely their fault, as modern society promotes money-making abilities and wealth as the only existing virtue. In fact, someone even joked that just like in Medieval times you had Earls and Dukes and Knights we have titles like "a billionaire". So the guy said, we should go further and just address people by the contents of their bank accounts.

So instead of the aristocracy and commoners we'd have a Hundredaire and a Thousandaire as opposed to a Millionaire and a Billionaire. 

Wherever this current Western culture comes from, it's not from the Christian religion: For the love of money is the root of all evil...

Saturday, November 25, 2023

The R8pe Of Narnia

 This is just horrible. 

However, I should say that what currently is called "woke" stuff started creeping in already during the life of Lewis. Remember the order in which the books were written? The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe: girls don't fight, Prince Caspian: girls don't fight, The Voyage Of The Dawntreader: girls don't fight, The Silver Chair: girls don't fight, Prince Caspian: girls suddenly do fight and that makes them (Lucy) good and noble as opposed to wicked Susan only interested in fashions and men. Remember who didn't get to Heaven?

This nonsense started after WWII, and I'm sorry but I do blame Hollywood and broad American culture in general. When Lewis' books started getting popular overseas, he changed with times. Another example would be The Guns Of Navarone (spelling?). The original book, written shortly after the war has NO women in it. Zero. 0. Yet, the Hollywood adaptation from late 1950s/early 60 suddenly has 2 (one a traitor) and they are both eye candy. They also wear flirty colourful dresses with decolletes (that's exactly what I would wear when fighting in the mountains, lol).

I sometimes visit Greek Ortho church. The older generation women even now tend to wear all black long dresses. In those times they wore black headcoverings, too. But never mind...

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

The Housekeeping Schedule That Actually Works

 I tried one from Darla Shine's book Happy Housewives which I reviewed on my blog several years ago, with some changes to adapt it to my situation. So far I'm content the way it goes and decided to share it with you:)

Monday

the floors. For me it means I vacuum all the 4 levels and wash the floors everywhere, plus the cats' feeding bowls when I clean this area and then I do the kitchen sink and working area, too. 

Tuesday

I start with one load of laundry, and clean the bathrooms.

Wednesday

This is my main laundry day, when I change the beds, tablecloth etc. Plus, I get to fold Tuesday laundry, too. I usually do 2 loads.

Thursday

If there is some extra laundry, I finish it this day. For the rest, it's dusting/area cleaning.

Friday

This is the day to take it easy:) Laundry is all done by now, and I fold the rest so that the house looks neat for the weekend. You see, we currently don't have a dryer, and my husband dislikes laundry racks in full sight during weekends. Then I do a short vacuuming, only two floors instead of 4. And some shopping.

Saturday

is the principal shopping day in our household, we take the car and go to Aldi. That's about it.

Sunday

the day of rest. Only necessary stuff like making beds etc. Hope it may be helpful for someone. 

 

Sunday, November 19, 2023

Catholics Are Also Christians

 Here is a disclaimer: I am not a member of the Roman Catholic Church, and I don't even like it that much. However, it doesn't change the fact that Catholics are Christians and our brothers in faith. Catholic believers (as opposed to cultural Catholics) don't need to be converted to an American style Evangelicalism, they don't need lectures on how to "be born again", they don't need a Protestant style "revivals", Americans don't need to send missionaries to the predominantly Catholic cultures etc etc. I hope you get my point.

If past religious wars have taught us Europeans anything, it's the need to be tolerant. That doesn't mean we can't criticise each other or learn from each other. But leave people be. They already chose what they believe in. Have a bit respect. BTW, I don't understand this conversion zeal, either. That is, I can understand when it's dealing with non-Christians. But every Christian denomination (that includes Catholics, btw) is obsessed with going to areas populated by a different variety Christians and trying to convert them to their own particular version of religion.

Here is the good news for you: you don't need to belong to a particular church to go to Heaven, you just need to have saving faith. One finds it in a Baptist church, another in a Catholic one, the third is Greek Orthodox. An important thing is that the church is theologically sound, of course, but people born in a certain tradition will still predominantly look within their own denomination. For instance, while I am not entirely satisfied with the condition of the Protestantism in the Netherlands, I'm still not planning to become a Catholic.

So I can perfectly well understand that a believing Catholic will may be look for a more conservative priest but won't attend my church. In the society where most people are agnostics at best, religious battles between various shades of Christians can wait till better times.

Saturday, November 18, 2023

Should Christian Celebrate Halloween?

 Yeah, I know I'm rather late with this one:) Still a good article and sums up my point of view (and yes, we do celebrate it, in a way)

How is the holiday being used in your area?  Does the local high school have a popular Wiccan teacher who uses the holiday as an opportunity to promote her religion?  When you think on the Halloweens of the past few years, do you primarily remember the vandalism?  Are mystic religions that incorporate Halloween into their own spirituality common in your community?  In such cases, Christians would be well advised to not take part in the festivities.  On the other hand, if the celebration is primarily about carving silly faces in pumpkins, soliciting treats from neighbors, and dressing up as Luigi rather than Lucifer, it’s probably ok.

Thursday, November 16, 2023

Real Finnish Men

 Bonus points to those who recognised the original melody:)


Monday, November 13, 2023

Does Feminism Even Make Sense

 



 I've been told several times that cooking is oppression. One lady told me that she had no time to cook since she worked. I said: "Well, but even if you are a single mother and have to work, you still need to eat." I mean, really WT*? I can understand not cleaning your house regularly (maybe), but eating is something you need to do every day, several times a day. Does it even make sense to you?

All these ladies are "older", btw and should be Titus 2 women and here they are telling younger women not to cook. Let men cook, said somebody. Another one told me how women were emancipated in the 1970s with the invention of French fries. Of course, in those times we didn't know about transfats in margarine used in deep frying, I wonder how many people got heart problems because of it?

I guess cancer and heart attack from all this fast food is the real emancipation after all. That'll teach the patriarchy a lesson...


Friday, November 10, 2023

The Importance Of Marital Bed

 There was an old lady once (about 20 years ago) whose husband became severely handicapped and had to go into a nursing home. She refused to accompany him, saying that she was still too young and healthy. Next thing happened, that lady's liberal Evangelical (!) church barred her from communion citing "the divorce of table and bed" as a reason. In those less enlightened times, even many liberal churches considered a divorced woman a sinner not worthy to partake in sacraments.

Of course, nowadays we know better. Even fundie wives don't think twice before kicking the old man out of the house the moment he becomes seriously sick and nobody bats an eye. People told me my mother-in-law was some kind of a saint for simply doing her wifely duty and staying with her husband till the end.

Yet, not so long ago, "the divorce (or separation) from table and bed" was a legal concept dating back to the Middle Ages. When I married in the beginning of the 2000s I was told that it was a marital duty for me and my husband to live together. Last time I checked, they don't say it any more. But in the times past, one spouse abandoning the other or denying him/her "the spousal rights" (i.e. s8x) was grounds for legal divorce. 

Marriage wasn't considered a real marriage until consummated (husband and wife having s8x) and even the Catholic Church allowed annulment in this case. Because marriage without sharing the bed and communal housekeeping is nothing more than a sham. Once you deny your spouse these things, you have already divorced him (her), just unofficially. 

I wish these wives who deny their husbands (and vice versa, because it also happens) would keep it in mind.

Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled.

Tuesday, November 7, 2023

How To Be A Good Christian Housewife

 It's actually very easy. To be a good Christian housewife, you need 2 things only. A breadwinner husband  and you staying home doing housekeeping.

A disclaimer: I'm not writing this post to criticise other people's choices, but rather to support those women who want to stay home but feel overwhelmed by different things pushed on the internet as a requirement while they are clearly an option. Let's not be like pharisees teaching as doctrine the commandments of men. Some of these things aren't even in the Bible but are simply typical for some (American) Christian subcultures which makes it even more difficult for European women to relate.

This said, to stay home you don't need the permission or agreement of your parents/parents-in-law or other family. Your husband is the head of your household, not his mother, or yours for this matter. 

You don't need to have a certain amount of children. You can have 1 child, 3, 10 or none. While the Scriptures call children a blessing there is never a fixed number mentioned. Sarah, a very godly woman who is an example for the believers had none for the most part of her marriage. They also don't have to be of a certain age (young, pre-schoolers etc). They can be all adults and live on their own and you can still be a homemaker.

You don't need to birth them in a certain way. There are those who push home birth as the "only godly option" or will tell you that a C-section is somehow sinful. It's not only nonsense, it's downright irresponsible to give such advice online. The same is true about epidural/natural, induction etc. Those are health decisions which are between the woman and her doctor and disregarding medical advice in such a case can lead to very serious consequences, including death of your baby. Please keep it in mind.

Once the child is born, the new mother is burdened with even more advice from well-wishers. Cloth diapers, co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand till a certain age. To vaccinate or not. Of course, there is nothing wrong with many of these things, but they are personal choices, not religious dogma. Instead of always turning to the internet, why not asking your mother? This is something with which she can help, seeing that she raised you and you turned out fine:)

Another thing that you don't need to do to stay home is home school. Home schooling is typically American. It's not widespread in other countries, some countries such as Germany downright forbid it. Does it mean that a German woman can never be a housewife? Homeschooling is a valid choice, but again, it is a choice. You also don't need to have a home business. Once again, it's personal. It's not commanded anywhere in the New Testament, it's (imo) a legalistic demand based on the certain interpretation of the Proverbs 31, which, btw, is in the OT.

You don't need to dress in a certain way. The Bible talks about modest and distinctly feminine clothes, but doesn't tell you to wear only dark colours, for instance, like some churches do. You don't need to follow a certain diet. You can be a vegetarian or a carnivore, or whatever, it's your personal preference. You don't need to live on a farm/from subsistence farming because "all cities are sinful". Your husband doesn't have to be self-employed. You can send your son to college/university (whether it's a good choice for a daughter is another debate) without sinning. 

I could go on and on but I hope you get my point. We have freedom in Christ. Some things are clear commands, like "Thou shalt not commit adultery". Others are up for discussion. You don't have to live a Little House on the Prairie lifestyle like some Christians would tell you, but, of course, you are free to do it if both you and your husband like it.


Monday, November 6, 2023

Smile, It's Monday!

 

Courtesy of Gab. Sometimes they do have nice things posted:)

Saturday, November 4, 2023

What I Eat In A Day

 I thought it was time to have another one of these, since folks always appear to be interested in food others are eating.Starting with myself:)

My regular readers probably know that I currently don't eat meat, but I do eat fish several times a week. So here is what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast

A cup of Redbush tea with honing (I don't tolerate caffeine well), a banana and 2 sorts of grapes, a glass of full fat milk, and crisp bread, 1 piece with peanut butter, the other with a bit of butter and plum jam.

Lunch

Water with home baked bread (from a bread baker. I don't do it very often but this week I decided to use it), 1 slice with butter and apple butter, the other with mashed sardines, ketchup and cucumber. 

Wait, that's not all, here's more:)


Cacao made with water, some (full fat) coffee milk and honey, plus a chocolate cookie. Not the healthiest of choices (the cookie, that is) , but I thought I deserved it after being outside doing shopping for nearly 2 hours.

I drank a cup of tea around 4.30 p.m. and then it was time for dinner. 


I combined 2 recipes from a German vegetarian cooking magazine and here is what I got. A glass of water and 2 pita breads, frittata omelette made with eggs (1 per person), some full fat milk, cheese (1 slice per person), onion, carrot and herbs + ground nuts (almond, walnut and something else, I forget) + broad beans (I hope it's the correct name) tomato salad. 

We also had dessert:

Full fat yogurt with ground flax seeds and sunflower seeds and 1tsp of jam. In the evening I drank another cup of tea and that was all. 

A note about dairy, women are recommended to eat at least some full fat dairy, just don't overdo it:)


Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Halloween 2023

 My autumn decorations:


 


 






And the special Halloween cake:


Courtesy of this book:



Saturday, October 28, 2023

Woke Religion In The Church

 The problem with conservatives:

 
No matter how much a conservative Christian agrees with me superficially, I’ve come to realize that he will always side with the woke against me whenever their shared fundamental beliefs about pluralism, secularism, equality, multiculturalism, and globalism are threatened.

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

The Real Reason Western Women Work

 There are actually two, but before discussing them I'll take you back in time to the 1960s. 

When my parents-in-law married, my mother-in-law was about 19 years old. She had no debts and no college education. She quit her job right away. The 1st year of their marriage, they had no house of their own and rented an attic by Grandma. When their first child was born, they moved into a 55m2 apartment, and they spent their whole life there. They went on to raise 3(!) children there. My husband's room was so small, he had a bed which could be put up and down. When it was down, the door couldn't get open. His sisters shared a room together. 

My father-in-law died in this apartment, and my mother-in-law stayed there till the end of her life. It was a rental, btw, they never owned property. Nowadays, the whole apartment complex has been turned into senior homes, mostly widowed people live there. You get my point? 

The house in which my mother-in-law grew up still stands, too. They used to live there with 8 people (the parents and 6 children). This type houses now go on sale as "starter's homes for 1 person". So here is the 1st reason most married Western women choose to work. The insatiable greed and materialism. Whatever these women have, it's never enough. The average family size went from 4 kids to 1.5, while an average home size went from 2-3 bedrooms (my father-in-law was brought up in a 2bedroom rental and he had to share his bedroom with his sister. His mother didn't work) to 6 or 7.

And then you have "many luxury vacations", the latest model cars bought on credit (my mother-in-law didn't even have a driving license, she bicycled everywhere) and so on and so forth. Because the princess is only worth the best. Of course, let's be fair, there are also men like this. There are husbands which insist their wives work. But most modern Western men are easy-going (much too easy, in my opinion), and don't really need that much. They don't mind one way or the other, whether their wives work or not. But when she comes with student's loans, won't cooperate with his financial plans, can't budget and won't do any housework, of course even the modern soyboy will often rebel and tell her to go earn her own income.

 Because it also sounds progressive and less s8xist than "shut up and go cook dinner", which he really should be saying. 

Reason n2 is that modern women simply don't want to submit to their husbands. If she quits her job, she is basically at his mercy. "The one who pays, decides". Often nowadays, they are the children of divorce, or even worse, illegitimate, and all these girls were raised with an idea that "all men are bastards" and that you shouldn't trust them. 

The little time they spend at home, they are glued to the modern msm, which tells them they need to be strong and independent. If they stop earning, there is still a chance the husband would ask her to do at least some housework, and she views it as a fate worse than death, because housework, cooking and childcare is beneath her. She'd rather force her husband do it, to remind him who is really in charge.

The truth is, you can still live like in the 1950s, if you accept that you standard of living will be lower that what is considered normal nowadays. I'd also like to add a word of warning to women, so that I'm not accused of being biased against them:) While most modern women aren't brought up to be wives in the traditional sense, not all men can be decent husbands, either. Avoid "starving artists", various addicts, violent criminal types, wh8remongers and mama's boys. None of them make good husbands. 

And while the first four are obvious, mama's boys often come across as "sweet, loving, being from a good family" types but they are a real poison. They are weak, lazy, entitled, accustomed to being served on hand and foot, accustomed that all their problems are solved by someone else, and will get a burnout and let you be the breadwinner, while their mommy will accuse you of not being sympathetic enough to her little snowflake. 

By the time a man starts contemplating marriage, he should be independent and assertive, have a steady job and enough income to buy/rent a place of his own. It doesn't have to be a villa, just a separate dwelling from his parents. That's about all for today:) I must go make dinner, 'cause my husband expects it.


Sunday, October 22, 2023

S8x: Men Vs Women

 In one country, the government did a survey on how many adults were married. To their surprise, they found out that there were many more married women than men (the country didn't allow polygamy). So when they started investigating the issue, they found out that most women living together with men outside wedlock wrote themselves down as "married", while their partners all wrote down "single".

There is this thing they don't teach girls about nowadays, because it is "s8xist". Men are very good at compartmentalising their feelings. As my Grandpa used to say, there are women you marry and there are "all the others" if you get what I mean. Feminists did their best to obscure the difference, but it still exists, especially if you venture outside Western MSM. 

I'll give you one example from the Turkish historical  TV series The Magnificent Century (I wrote about it here). One of the characters, Bali Bey (one of the most handsome men in the show, btw), though an aristocrat, falls for a daughter of a commoner and in the end, marries her, but the girl dies from plague before they can even consummate. After the funeral, he spends a night alone at her grave, sees her shadow and swears an oath to never love or marry another woman again.

 Later he visits his home province and meets his childhood sweetheart, the daughter of another wealthy landowner who rejected all her other suitors because she was waiting for him. She tells him she loves him, and Bali Bey says that he can't answer her feelings and she should find someone else as he will never look at another woman again.

And after this...he returns back to the capital and starts visiting the same wh8re-house and patronising the same pr8stitute he did before his marriage. For him, there is no contradiction, and he keeps his oath to never remarry, refusing even a foreign princess, and later, the Sultan's own daughter. Because his relationship with Helene (the Greek wh8re) has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of love he felt for his wife or could feel for any "decent" woman. That's the way many men are. Women can argue that it's unfair till they are blue in the face, but it won't change the reality.

When you are young and attractive, men will run after you and shower you with attention. They will tell you all sorts of pretty lies, with one objective in their minds. Bali Bey in the beginning wasn't even contemplating marriage to the shopkeeper's daughter. He wanted an easy fling. It's only when she rejected his advances, that his attitude changed. If the man really loves you, he should marry you. And provide for you. If you agree to anything less than that, one day, you'll regret it.

Saturday, October 21, 2023

The Generation Of Lotus Eaters

 Gen Z is stuck in eternal childhood, thanks to their mothers…

A widely-shared video showcases a young man who, by any standard, should be in the prime of his life—earning money and looking for a wife. Instead, he’s trapped in perpetual adolescence, largely due to a mother held back by her own fears of loneliness and feeling obsolete. Unfortunately, this is becoming symbolic of today’s “modern man.” 

I can attest that I personally know mothers and sons like this. 

Thursday, October 19, 2023

Did Victorians Worship Women?

 It's an interesting topic to research but right now I don't have time:) So far I found this old article by Dalrock about the connection between Victorian chivalry and female suffrage:

 But despite the fact that fighting feminism with chivalry is a reliable way to empower feminism, traditional conservatives aren’t about to change tactics.  Thus we have complementarians who are convinced that women won’t rebel against headship and submission, if only men are chivalrous enough.

I haven't had time to read the comments there. If you have any ideas, feel free to post them. Personally I tend to think that this overblown chivalry was more an American (or, at least, an Anglo-American) phenomenon than the European one but I could be mistaken.

Monday, October 16, 2023

Men Are Intelligent

I know that's not what they taught you, but nevertheless, it's true:)

I want to tell you 2 stories. The first one, I read online. The 2nd happened in real life.

So the story N1 goes as follows. There was a family once, a husband and a wife. The wife was a successful business woman. She had a great career and earned quite a bit of money. The husband, not so much. In fact, he had difficulty holding a job and when he tried various business projects, they all failed somehow. Yet, the family needed money, so the wife started working more and more and became even more successful. The guy, on the other hand, dropped out of the workforce altogether.

The wife was very upset and they began fighting constantly. Then, one day...he ran away with another woman. The wife was shocked, she couldn't figure out why any woman at all would want that loser. To her dismay, her ex soon succeeded at his new project, made lots of money and became quite wealthy, while his new wife stayed home and didn't work at all. Why couldn't he be like this with me??? his 1st wife kept asking.

Story N2 is about a couple where both spouses worked. Yet the husband somehow never managed to find full employment and worked shorter hours than he liked. His wife worked 3 days a week and supplemented the family income. She then became very sick and couldn't work for a long time. Finally, her sick leave drew to an end, and then she decided to quit altogether because her health still wasn't much better and she was easily tired. They had young children and missed that money. Then, as if by a miracle, the husband found a full time job so their money problems were solved.

Modern women are taught that in order "to help their husband", they must go out and find a job, however, sometimes, the best course of action is just to stay where you are and inspire your husband to be masculine by your femininity. Men are strong and intelligent, they can figure it all out on their own, if the women let them:)

Saturday, October 14, 2023

Socialism Vs Capitalism

 As I'm leaving for the weekend and don't have time to write anything, I'd like to highlight this post by Mark Moncrieff:

 Liberalism puts forward the idea that we must choose between two extremes, if you don't support free speech then you support all speech being controlled. If you don't support free trade then you don't believe in trade. The choice between Capitalism and Socialism is one of those extreme positions, because like most people I actually think that a good economy has a bit of both, but not too much of either.

 

Thursday, October 12, 2023

Cinderella Vs The Stepmother's Daughter

 I remember when I was young a friend of mine used to tease me. She'd phone early in the morning during school vacations and if I was still in bed she'd tell me that only the Stepmother's daughter would be up so late. My friend had to do a lot of housework growing up. I still had to help at home, of course, but less than her, you see.

When I started working I was still living with my parents. I had to give a part of my income to my mother to pay for the costs of living. I used gas, electricity and water, plus there were taxes to pay and we as a family had a common budget for food. I think it was not more than fair.

How many girls nowadays are doing this? How many parents require it? Boys, too, btw. What I witness quite often, is mothers getting back to work to provide adult children living at home with money for benzine, clothes and luxury vacations while also doing most of the housework. Later, they will complain that nobody wants her spoiled prince/princess.

This is purely a Western phenomenon. Last year when I was dealing with aftermath of Covid I spent lots of time watching movies online and somehow found a channel with Pakistani TV series. I got a real cultural shock when I watched some of them. It showed mothers just nicely sitting around while their daughters ( we are talking here about college students, not small children) were serving them, bringing tea, cooking dinner and doing housework in general. One girl was shown as lazy and of poor character and she didn't do much at home citing her studies as an excuse and her mother (it was a single mom, lol) was complaining what a horrible daughter she had.

Here it's the norm, unfortunately. It wasn't always like this. For instance, my mother-in-law while still living at home had to knit socks for everyone, while her sister had to cook and feed breakfast to other kids. My mother-in-law was the 2nd oldest of 7. She and her elder brother had to do family laundry every week before going to school. That's how women of that generation managed to raise big families. They simply didn't wait on their children hand and foot, like modern moms do too often. They also didn't usually babysit their grandkids, that was the mother's job; and neither did they keep on financially supporting their adult children living separately well into their 40s and 50s. 

Somehow we all forgot that it's Cinderella which we should aspire to, not the obnoxious, lazy and entitled Stepmother's daughter. It's Cinderella that the Prince Charming chose and not some spoiled foreign princess, either:) Somewhere there is a lesson in this story...

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

In Defence Of Male Lust

 Or rather, male desire. Many Christians seem to have real problem with it. I just googled "The Song Of Solomon" and found articles trying to explain it away as "the picture of Jesus and the Church", questioning whether it's canonical and apologising for Solomon's polygamy. Because, you know, polygamy, while obviously not ideal/the original God's design is never actually forbidden anywhere in the Bible or expressly called sinful, unlike other "alternative" lifestyles which many Christians now express sympathy for. Just as long as men don't desire women it's fine, I guess...

And Solomon, btw, was criticised for taking too many foreign wives, because they turned away his heart from God. Also, obviously, nobody can be a good husband to 1000 women. But David was also polygamist and not really criticised or punished for that, unlike for his adultery with Bathsheba.

Now, speaking of adultery, the Bible verse which forbids male lust, talks precisely about it:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 2

 In order for a man to commit adultery with a woman, she has to be the wife of someone else. This is perfectly in line with the 10th Commandment:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

BTW, adultery in the Bible is defined in this way:

10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.  

Married man visiting pr8stitutes is obviously wrong, but it's fornication and wh8ring, not adultery and before the triumph of Western feminism, the wife usually couldn't get divorce on these grounds alone, unless there was also some form of abuse/abandonment present.

Anyway, getting back to the topic of male desire. If it didn't exist, there would be very few marriages and children born. Of course, the desire alone is not a very solid basis for marriage, there should be also considerations of character and compatibility but unless we are talking about 100% marriage of convenience, a man isn't going to run after a woman he doesn't find attractive. 

I'll even go further than that, a normal heter8s8xual woman is supposed to desire her husband, too.  She must find him attractive enough for these purposes, because marital bed is a very important part of marriage. In fact, until the marriage is you know, consummated, it's not considered a marriage at all and even medieval Catholic Church allowed annulment in these cases.

Thus, s8x is literally what makes marriage a real marriage and not just two friends cohabiting. Somehow, men are constantly made to feel ashamed for "objectifying" women.  They are supposed to "earn" the access to marital bed by performing tricks being good boys

On the other hand, you will have internet gurus telling wives just to "grin and bear it", to satisfy their husbands. While they look like the exact opposite of the 1st group, they proceed from the same idea. That s8x is something unpleasant, what "good girls" aren't supposed to really like, but should perform as a chore/duty. No wonder, we have so many divorces.

As a wife, you should be glad that your husband (still) desires you, and not some other woman, especially after many years of marriage. Don't let yourself go, take a good care of your health, try to look feminine and enjoy it when your husband comes home from work and runs after you. Don't be a tight-laced prude and don't turn into his mommy. Men usually love their mothers, but don't desire them:)

 

Sunday, October 8, 2023

I'm Back!

 Comments moderation is back to normal (none on the recent posts).

Regular posting will be resumed soon.

Sunday, October 1, 2023

A Short Personal Note

 We are going on vacation. Again:) I know I still haven't posted the pictures from our summer vacation, which I'm still planning to do, but for now we are leaving. I'll be back in a week. See you later! 

P.S. The comments moderation will be temporarily put on, just in case:)

Friday, September 29, 2023

The Importance Of Baptism

 If you are a GenXer like me, you probably remember how big horror genre was in the 1980s. Omen and that sort of thing. I recall a movie I watched once about some man who wanted to rule the world and used black magic for this. He need a human sacrifice for his incantation to work (yes, he was that evil). It had to be an unbaptised child and in the end, he found a boy from an unbelieving family. It produced so much impression on me that I still remember this detail, many years later...

While I don't wish to start a discussion about paedo vs credo baptism, I'd like to point out that the Scriptures say that the children of believers are holy, which literally means "set apart." That's exactly what the child baptism does, imo. On the other hand, many Evangelical churches still allow rather young children to be baptised, since they believe that even a child of 4-5 years old can be a professing Christian, so it's not a real problem. 

The real problem is the fact that many people who were baptised by their parents turned out unbelievers or are, at the very least, indifferent to the matters of faith. They aren't going to baptise their children or to bring them to church or to pray over them or any of these things. And I do believe that it means trouble in the future. 

There is this famous Bible verse (Matthew 5:13):

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? 

Believers have a preserving influence on the society, as the West becomes less Christian we see the very fabric of it being torn apart. And while being baptised won't bring you to Heaven if you don't have a saving faith, since it's a sacrament it still has a protective effect, imo; and not only on the person himself/herself, but on the society as a whole. 

You ain't seen nothing yet. Personally I expect things to get a whole lot worse...

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Trump And Abortion

 Interesting:

In the first of five newly scheduled visits to the Hawkeye State, Donald Trump arrived in northeast Iowa with a warning.

“In order to win in 2024, Republicans must learn how to properly talk about abortion,” he told an audience of some 2,000 potential voters, packed into a ballroom here.

"This issue cost us unnecessarily but dearly in the midterms. It cost us dearly, really, and unnecessarily."

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Witch Hunt Against Russel Brand Gathers Steam

 I don't know if he is guilty, but twenty years ago...Come on! 

Despite him not having even been accused of streaming anything objectionable on YouTube, the social media giant has demonetized Russell Brand.

Well, what do you think? 

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Boy Told To Wear A Skirt

A 12-year-old lad was placed in isolation for wearing shorts to school during the sweltering heatwave.

Archie Thompson was told by staff at Fullhurst Community College, in Braunstone, Leicester, he could don a skirt instead.

 I can understand his mother's indignation:

"I was outraged at that comment to be honest," she admitted. "He can wear a skirt but he's not allowed to wear shorts.

 Yet isn't there a whiff of hypocrisy:

"He's a boy, he doesn't want to wear a skirt...He identifies as a male..."

If skirts/dresses are distinctly female clothes which aren't suitable for boys/males to wear, while pants and shorts are for men, then why most Western women wear them and not dresses? 

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.

This cross-dressing didn't start in the current year, if you know what I mean. We just decided one day that the rules didn't apply to women the same way they applied to men. Present day progressives just take the equality idea to its logical end...

Friday, September 15, 2023

No More Mister Nice Guy

 Here is actually a kinda interesting post from VD:

 As Sun Tzu says, to win, one must know the enemy as well as knowing oneself. This is why Deltas so often lose in situations they could easily win, as they make no effort to understand or anticipate their opposition, but are more concerned about being seen to be doing the right thing. Howeve, the last thing a woman who is ending her marriage in search of fun and freedom wants is to be tied down full-time by her children, with even less time for fun and games than she had when she was married.

I should add that men have a natural advantage over women, even in our feminised and increasingly misandric society. However, they are constantly shamed by basically everyone around them into not using it. It worked with Baby Boomers and is one of the reasons the 1960s feminists were so successful: because of the rather misplaced chivalry of the men of that generation.

However, there is literally zero reason to be chivalrous in a situation which the linked blog post describes. Sometimes you need to go for the jugular...

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

How To Get Men Into Church

 Stop treating them with contempt: 

 Even when one can’t help being around contemptuous people, one creates different kinds of distance. The henpecked husband, for example, increasingly retreats into work and hobbies to minimize dealings with his wife. It would be silly to think the same kind of dynamic wouldn’t happen in our congregations...

The first step is to recognize and repent of our fear. Like most Americans, American Christians are absolutely terrified of being labeled misogynist...

Alas for them: popular culture judges anything contrary to feminism as misogynistic, and the Bible is by no means a feminist book.

So Christians “defend” the Bible by placarding a few passages that sound maybe-sort-of feminist (e.g. “Deborah!” “In Christ there is no male and female!”), while ignoring and even obfuscating all the passages that cannot possibly be reconciled with feminist philosophy (“Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man”).

If we try to overcompensate in this fashion even on Scripture, how much more do we do so regarding the men in our midst?

Monday, September 11, 2023

The Law On Single Moms

 Modern churches shame Christian men for not wishing to marry single moms:

So without further ado, here are the theological errors in his three reasons he thinks “Christian men should pursue Christian single moms for marriage.”

“1. Single Christian moms are as pure as the sinless Son of God, which is more than you deserve in a wife.”

Here, Parkison confuses righteousness coram deo (before God) with righteousness coram mundo (before the world.)  Before God, single Christian moms are indeed pure due to the imputed righteousness of Christ, which he mentions several times in the piece. But in this very same sentence, he judges Christian men coram mundo when he indicates that they don’t deserve such a wife.  After all, coram deo, Christian men are likewise pure & perfect. Accordingly, they truly deserve a spotless bride just as much as Jesus Christ does. In other words, Parkison is making an apples-to-oranges comparison here.

Such attitude to single moms being perfection itself is rather new. I'd like to give you an example of how the law and custom used to treat single moms somewhere about 100 years ago in my country. 

First, there were no "single moms". You had widows, which were respected, divorced women and unwed mothers of bastards illegitimate kids. Those groups were all treated differently. I'm not sure how the law treated the rights of a divorced mother before WWII. After the war, they usually got the custody but the divorce itself was considered something extremely shameful and their choice of prospective marriage partners was rather slim.

Poor widows were to be provided for by their male relatives, usually brothers. Since a woman was not considered responsible enough to raise a child on her own, the law made her brother the guardian of the child and any decision, such as education had to be approved by him. As you can understand, many men were very resentful at the idea of having to support both his own family and that of his sister. I heard stories about some relatives where the lady was left a widow with 6 or 7 children and her brother made such a deal out of it that she swore to marry the 1st man who would take her. She then married a widower with 6 kids of his own (all boys while hers were all girls).

Even though he had married her so that she could take care of his kids, he again resented very much the necessity of providing for the kids of another man and promptly kicked her daughters out of the house by the 1st opportunity so that they had to enter domestic service (there was little opportunity of other employment).

I also read that in some places widows were provided for by the community but had to take care of the orphans in return. 

And what about the real "single moms", the euphemism invented for the one reason only, to take away the stigma?

A woman who produced an illegitimate kid was obviously deemed unfit to raise him herself. If the family were poor the child was taken away and placed in an orphanage. The mother then had to work, and pay out of her wages for the upkeep for her bastard. She was allowed to visit him from time to time. If she married (and yes, it did happen even back then), she had to quit her employment (married women couldn't work, of course), so it was up to her husband to pay for it. The child still stayed in an orphanage though.

Again, I heard stories of a distant relative somewhere in the 1920 or thereabout who always claimed that her pregnancy was the result of r8pe (though the man was never prosecuted) yet it didn't help her. She later married and her husband kept paying to the orphanage. Germany, btw, had similar laws about male guardians, and they were abolished only somewhere in the 1980s from what I heard.

So that was the law and tradition about single moms back then. I'm not implying we should go back to it, just providing the info:)


Friday, September 8, 2023

Why Is Modesty Important?

 Or rather is it at all? Sorry for the lack of effort-posting but we are in the middle of a heatwave right now. Yesterday my resolve broke down and I switched airco on for several hours, which cost me 4extra kwh. I'm still holding out as of now but probably, not for a long time:) And my husband is working shorter hours this week. Still, here it comes: hot weather always brings with it the issue of modesty, so I'm going to write a couple of thoughts on the matter. Please don't throw stones as I feel like I'm melting right now - it's close to +30*C in my bedroom where I'm typing this. 

Why is modesty important? Or is it really? Many Christian (and all Islamic) authors approach this topic from the angle of immodest women provoking male passions. To this feminists scornfully reply that it's up to men to control themselves and how it only proves that men are pigs. Since most Western women, even Christians, are feminists at least to a degree they support this position and act accordingly.

Another argument is much less known, but I saw it put forward by some fundie Christians and others: immodesty hurts women first of all. Apparently, they believe and teach that when a woman wear pants and/or short/tight skirts and dresses instead of long flowing garments it can affect her fertility to the point of making her infertile and/or cause specific female problems. Those who are into energy healing and this kind of stuff may add that wearing long flowing skirts and dresses allow the woman to draw the energy of Earth or something to the point. Those who are more scientifically minded speak about hormone disbalance.

There is also a more sophisticated version of this argument. It goes like this: men and women exchange s8xual energy which ideally, should happen withing marriage where both get something out of the arrangement. When a woman goes around scantily dressed, she allows strange men to use this energy without giving anything back, while other women will get envious and take some of it, too. As a result, her female energy is depleted which leads to health and other problems. I know it sound heathenish but bear with me:)

Thus we have 2 arguments representing the dangers of immodesty from a male and a female point of view, but what if there is more to this issue? And here I'm going to write about a theory of mine. Please keep in mind it's just that, a theory.  

What if the society as a whole is  affected by female immodesty? You see, there is this Nephilim story from both the OT and the Apocripha about fallen angels lusting after mortal women and taking them as wives, which presumably, was one of the causes of the Flood? We then have the text from the Corinthians telling women to cover themselves (their head/hair) "because of the Angels". While it's commonly understood that if  such unnatural unions ever took place, it's impossible now, the last text at least hints that female beauty somehow has a certain type of influence. 

So it could very well be that half-dressed and sometimes nearly naked females which we all daily encounter basically everywhere, draw the certain kind of supernatural beings to them which then produce a nefarious influence  on the world around them. And if we look around, there appears at least some truth to the statement. So here is food for thought: cover yourself going outside because you never know who may be looking.

Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Constitution Isn't Going To Save You

 Enrique Tarrio gets 22 years in prison

Here is a good article from BlazeMedia:

 If you want a good laugh, you can enter the phrase “sovereign citizens” into your favorite video search engine and find endless hours of delusional people being arrested by the police. Sovereign citizens are a loose collection of individuals who believe they can evade the authority of the police by claiming exemption from the legal code. 

There is no central text explaining the sovereign citizen ideology, but one branch holds that America's first governing document, the Articles of Confederation, was never legally dissolved, meaning that those who claim “sovereign citizenship” are not subject to the law as currently enforced under the Constitution. Though it has never stopped a single arrest, devotees of this doctrine will confidently state their case as they resist detainment, treating the legal assertion as magic spell meant to halt a police officer in his tracks. While delusional people attempting to argue their way out of an arrest can create a hilarious spectacle, the phenomenon can also teach an important lesson about placing one’s faith in a document that no longer has the authority to restrict power...

The current American conservative has an uncomfortable amount in common with the sovereign citizen crowd. The conservative remembers and cherishes the freedoms that were enshrined in the original constitution and believes that their presence in that founding text should defend those rights in perpetuity. Unfortunately, those rights were not vigorously defended by previous generations, and the document that was supposed to protect them has been subordinated to a new order with its own priorities. Conservatives will impotently recite sections of the Bill of Rights to government officials who care about nothing but the power to advance their own agenda...

 If those on the right want to see the freedoms returned, they will need to fight for every inch. Not just in the sphere of law and politics, but in every aspect of culture, religion, and education... 


Monday, September 4, 2023

Will Evangelical Church Drift To The Right?

 The Rise and Fall of the Evangelical Elite

 It was the elite evangelical response to COVID that finally destroyed their credibility. It solidified the already widespread suspicion that their role in society is to provide a theological veneer to regime narratives. They exhibited naïve trust in and absurd deference to institutions and the “experts” who openly lied and laughed off charges of tyranny as they closed playgrounds and schools, dumped sand in skate parks, locked people in their homes, and insisted that loved ones die alone. One notable pastor-theologian, Jonathan Leeman, authored several articles against churches that defied COVID restrictions, including against MacArthur’s church. In the height of the pandemic and while his church was forbidden from meeting, Leeman (being very on-brand) attended a crowded BLM protest, even inviting his church to join him...

It is now plain to everyone that the obsequiousness of the evangelical elite to their hostile secularist counterparts is harmful to the country, to churches, and to the advance of the Gospel. The evangelical elite know that they are in decline.

The energy in American evangelicalism is now on the Christian right, who have become emboldened in their efforts to return America to its heritage of faith. They affirm the goodness of Christian nations, an assertive Christian politics, and the predominate heritage of faith in American history. For them, Christian politics is not loser theology, nor meant only to carve out a safe existence for churches. The goal is the complete re-Christianization of civil society, institutions, and government.

 (emphasis mine)

One can only hope...

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Criminalisation Of Heteros8xuality

 Migrants r8pe women - I sleep. Lewd acts committed in the streets - I sleep. Children are exposed to explicitly s8xual material - I sleep. A grown up man kisses a grown up woman without getting a license first? Off with his head!!!

The head of the Spanish soccer federation faces possible prosecution for kissing a star player on the lips following Spain's World Cup victory amid increasing pressure for him to resign...

 Spanish prosecutors opened a criminal investigation on Aug. 29 into whether the kiss was an act of sexual assault. 

Some things to keep in mind. First, the woman herself only started objecting after a feminist outcry:

She then initially downplayed it in a statement, saying it was a "mutual gesture that was totally spontaneous" and "a natural expression of affection and gratitude."

However, she now says she was pressured into making that statement and sees the incident completely differently.

"At no time did I consent to the kiss that he gave me," she said.

She added in a statement that she “felt vulnerable and the victim of aggression, an impulsive, sexist act which was out of place and with no consent on my behalf," according to ESPN

Second, unlike in the more enlightened countries such as the US, his family are standing by him:

Rubiales' family is defending him against the backlash to the point where his mother has locked herself in a church and gone on a hunger strike, according to his cousin. 

Third, he correctly refused to " do the right thing and resign":

The Spanish soccer federation demanded that he "immediately resign" because of “the latest events and the unacceptable behaviors that have seriously damaged the image of Spanish football," according to a news release in Spanish. 

Initially, they supported him, btw:

The Royal Spanish Football Federation withdrew its support of Rubiales after an emergency meeting on Monday night after having initially backed him when FIFA announced it was investigating the kiss

So I wonder who is it  really demanding his blood? 

If they fire him, which they'll probably do he should sue them for the wrongful termination and do the same with his accuser. There is a lesson in this all: whatever happens, don't go into this night gently.

 P.S. May be this sheds some light on who is behind this all:

 McDonald’s has teamed up with FIFA as a sponsor of the FIFA Women’s World Cup Australia & New Zealand 2023 and the FIFA World Cup 2026.


Monday, August 28, 2023

More Boomer Hate

 from the usual suspect, or rather his wife, on Gab, where she references this article from Daily Mail as the proof that Boomers neglect their own grandchildren. The article, btw, isn't about older people demanding salaries, but rather about an estimation of the costs of the free childcare they provide by some insurance company, but that's not the point.

What I find really bizarre is that people who are supposedly for traditional family apparently believe raising children is now the duty of their grandparents and not their parents. The truth is that in the times past, grandparents only babysat occasionally and expected their daughters or daughters-in law to quit working and raise their offspring themselves, and not so long ago, either. It's not Grandma's duty to babysit while her daughter is out there in the office being a career woman.

In fact, in really traditional societies it's vice versa: the adult children have a duty to look after their  parents in their old age, the elderly folks don't have a duty to babysit, clean the house and cook for free (which yes, many are doing) while their entitled adult kids enjoy their 2 income life style. There was time in my country when money was taken out of the adult sons' salaries every month to support their aged parents back then when we were traditional.

In my opinion, most internet personalities promoting "return to tradition" wouldn't like it a bit to live in a really traditional culture.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Modern Church And Marital Submission

 I'd like to highlight this comment by Elspeth:

This is a good post. So often I have read where supposedly conservative people have insisted that this state of affairs (feminism)  is a natural result of technology. No. They are a result of progressive values. Technology and conservatism can coexist.

And...should someone point out as you have here, that there are cultures where traditional family values and sexual mores have managed to endure, they'll quickly point out that those are "oppressive regimes".

Anything that calls for self-control, libido restraint, and godly order is called "oppressive".

(emphasis mine) 

The comment stands on its own but I'd just like to add that too many  modern "conservative" churches will preach wifely submission and then turn around and state that it's "a gift" which should be "given freely" and if the husband tries to demand/enforce it in any way, it's oppressive/abusive. 

When you think about it logically, it doesn't make any sense. Either the husband has the authority over his wife and children or he doesn't. If he does have it, then he should have the right/means to enforce it, the way it used to be in the West before they rewrote the laws. Parental authority got curtailed, too, but it still exists legally and morally speaking. 

Just to demonstrate the absurdity of this line of thinking, imagine we'd have the same system in the army or really any work place with more than one employee. Your boss is supposed to be a "servant'-leader" and "win the hearts and minds" of his employees (or the officer of his soldiers) but it's up to them whether they follow his orders/instructions and he has no means to enforce his authority in any way, nor fire them, and is in fact, criticised and accused of abuse if he even tries.

Just how well would such an organisation function and how long would it even exist? Could an army unit perform its tasks properly? And yet, it's exactly what modern church leaders tell husbands to do and then scold them when things go wrong and say they'd do better if only they were "better leaders". Most of the Western churches openly pander to women, and the conservatives are sometimes worse than liberals in this respect since the liberals at least aren't hypocritical and openly state they believe in equality.

Conservatives and churchians, on the other hand, will often admit that women are "different" and that men are supposed to be leaders, but will decry any attempt to lead as oppression yet have no problem blaming the husband for his wife's sins. Your wife committed adultery? It's your fault, you should have been a better leader. She even murdered your children? Again, it's your fault, you should have led better. They deny women any accountability the way they do with a three year old child, but somehow insist that they be given full adult rights, political and otherwise, and Heaven forbid the husband try in any way to enforce the rules. 

Of course, you could say in their defence, that they are afraid to speak up due to the current political climate, since feminism is pretty much the dogma at this point, and yet many aren't afraid to attack abortion which is also sacred for liberals or even criticise alphabet stuff which is pretty much akin to blasphemy nowadays. So what's their problem?

Here are a couple Bible verses to consider. From the OT:

Gen18:19

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him.”

And NT:

1Tim 3

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)


Wednesday, August 23, 2023

How Shacking Up Causes Divorce

 It's that simple really. Consider the way people used to marry before the s8xual revolution. For a man of a good standing in society it went on like this: he meets a girl, usually while visiting family or through friends, or it could be a neighbour's daughter. They spend some time getting acquainted with each other. Then they start courting, meet each other's family and learn each other's antecedents.

 They mostly belong to the same social class and know what sort of behaviour is considered acceptable in their circles and what to expect. After they marry, they assume clearly defined roles: the husband is the head of the family, the protector and the provider, the woman is the wife, mother and homemaker. If she had not been married before, she is expected to be a virgin before the wedding and keep chastity after, and not to leave her husband under the punishment of divorce which is considered a dishonour to her and her family. He also can divorce her if she refuses him his "marital rights".

The way people marry nowadays is quite different. It mostly goes like this: boy meets girl somewhere in a night club where they both get drunk and end up in bed with each other. Next morning they get acquainted and if the s8x was good decide to have another date. Eventually they move together and after a certain time, depending on her age, the girl gets a case of what some call "baby rabies" and "forgets" to take the pill one day. Pregnancy ensues. If they have middle class pretensions they'll marry before the child is born, but marry they will. 

After the first excitement is over, they both realise that their past life is gone and that children actually need constant attention and don't raise themselves so they can't just drop them somewhere and go get plastered with their friends. It's probably the 1st time they will try their hand at housekeeping, either, with little success because none of them were taught it. Neither is good with finances and there is also some debt.  The guy is probably a lousy breadwinner and his wife could't cook to save her life and tries to boss him around and make him do most of childcare, too. He knew she was bossy before but put up with it because s8x was good but now she has no interest in it any more. 

Add to this that our culture views divorce as empowerment instead of something shameful and you know the rest.

So which one of these models leads to a stable family and which one to the divorce court. You decide!