Is It Wrong To Stay Home?

Here is a video by a young (21 years old) married woman who explains her choice to be a housewife. She says, among other things, that she doesn't mind being home a lot since before her marriage, she used to work as a baby- and dog-sitter and thus used to spend most of her time in the houses of other people, so that now she finally can enjoy staying in her own house.

One line of attacks against a full time homemaker is usually the idea that she is "locked inside the house" and "doesn't participate in society" which makes her life unbelievably boring, apparently. Of course, as with many other things, it's more a caricature than a realistic depiction of the life of a modern housewife. Part of her job, for instance, is doing shopping for her family. If she has children, she'll have to bring them to school. She'll probably spend at least some time a week visiting her family and friends. Then there is church and church activities, doctor's and dentist's appointments etc etc. The way our modern society functions, sheer necessity will force anyone to participate in it.

Yet is it really so bad to desire to spend the majority of your time at home? Why there are so many women around who would do anything to avoid it? Not only those working outside home, mind you. There are quite a number of "housewives" who you can phone at any hour of the day and they will be never home, except at dinner time. Well, you could just as well go out and get a job, in my opinion. Many working women prefer to spend their weekends going out with girlfriends (i.e. getting drunk in a bar) and spending their evenings in various out-of-home pursuits, because obviously, spending 20+ hours away from home on a weekly basis is clearly not enough.

At this point someone will ask me if it's not everybody's right to live like they see fit. Well, of course it is, though if you are any sort of a Christian, I dimly recall there is something in the Bible about women whose feet abide not in their houses and who are without and in the streets all the time, and it's not positive. However, most people are either not Christians or Christians in name only, so I agree it's their own business how they live. But...but, doesn't it work both ways?

I mean if it's all about choices, how about a woman who chooses to stay home because she likes it? Why is it that one has practically to apologise for it, like the girl in the video? Isn't it a personal decision? It hardly matters whether you are 21 or 51 as long as you enjoy it, does it now?

There is something incredibly reassuring about knowing this one lady in your street who is always home, whenever you call. It creates a warm and comfy feeling because you realise there is someone who likes to bond with her home and would rather stay there than spend her days running around like if her life depended on it.

Now please don't misunderstand me, it's fun and healthy to go out for a walk, take your kids to the park, visit a gym or a swimming pool, train your dog etc but hanging the whole day somewhere in a shopping mall like a juvenile delinquent? Staying home can be fun, too!

How To Be A Housewife

As one of my commenters recently pointed out, there is a lot of ignorance nowadays about housekeeping and all things domestic; while, on the other hand, there are probably many couples out there who long for a more traditional relationship but don't know how to switch from two incomes to one, so I thought it could be a good idea to devote a couple of posts to this topic.

Here is the link to a radio program which gives financial advise to people. The title of this particular episode is Yes, You Can Afford For Your Wife To Stay Home and the radio host gives a detailed analysis of a hypothetical situation which features a two income couple where both earn 60. 000$ and what would happen to them if the wife stopped working.

I'd like to highlight some of the points he made. First, he rightly points out that the decision for the wife and mother to stay home is not so much financial as it is a lifestyle one, that is, if the couple are determined to make it work, they'll probably find a way, however, most people nowadays see it as their objective to earn as much money as possible, even at the cost of the relationship with their own kids.

He states that it's so important for him that if necessary he'd move to a very cheap house and work three jobs in order for his wife to be able to take care of their children.

Another thing to consider is that while a one income family will obviously have less money to spend, their quality of life will be higher since the wife won't be stressed by working outside home and will be more relaxed and thus the atmosphere at home will be much more peaceful. What you lose in terms of money, you win back in terms of time.

Obviously it's a couple's decision whether to be a one or two income family, yet strangely, there is a lot of animosity towards traditional families, and he mentions a recent article in an Australian newspaper claiming that it should be forbidden for the wives to stay home since, guess what? They are not doing their duty towards the economy!!! Apparently some lifestyles aren't tolerated all that well in a liberal society.

It's a sad commentary on the modern West that the most prosperous societies that have ever existed since the beginning of the world value money-making and abstract "economy" above such things as marriage, children and family. Anyway, the good thing is that many people still do have a choice and the guy in question can probably help some of them to figure it all out financially.

Winter Fashions

I bought this magazine quite some time ago:

It was actually a January issue and had some really cute patterns in it:

I decided to try my hand at this skirt:

It consists of 4 parts. I cut them out and numbered them, and what do you think??? One of them disappeared. Simply vanished into the thin air:) I spent like an hour looking for it till I thought I was going crazy. My husband came home and suggested that I had accidentally thrown it away with the garbage. Well, that kinda made sense and I had a lot of fabric still left so I cut it out anew. I'll show you the results when it's finished:)

Right now it's cold though, like really cold. Freezing temperatures and they say it's going to be -9*C Thursday night. We haven't had a winter like this for about 6 years, so I had to search in my closets for some warm winter clothes and found this:

Here is a close-up of the cap. I do think it looks smart:) By the way, the stuff you see lying on the window sill is not there by chance, but to stop at least some of the cold air from getting inside. We are sleeping under 4 blankets, too:)

Here are a couple of outside pics:

You can see the water is frozen. The sky looks cold and beautiful:

The cats still go outside for a couple of hours, but prefer staying indoors for much of their time. Can't say I blame them:)

The guinea pig found a new house for herself:

So that was my show-and-tell Monday:))

Making the Home A Pleasant Place

A new great video from Lydia Sherman:

Billy Graham Dies

The Rev. Billy Graham, whose sermons were broadcast in churches around the country, died Wednesday morning at his home in Montreat, North Carolina, his nonprofit organization announced. He was 99.

Billy Graham dead 

He went back to  his Heavenly Father. 


Graham looked ahead to the end of his life with enormous faith.
Graham said: "I've been asked so many times lately, do I fear death? No! I look forward to death, with great anticipation. I'm looking forward to seeing God face to face."

Housecleaning And Class

Below is a link to an interesting episode of a 2013 TV series called

Britain On Benefits.

The idea of the reality show was to compare the benefits that are available now to what folks could get in 1949, when that whole government program took off. This particular episode features 3 cases, two of which are rather obvious: a single mom and an jobless immigrant. The third case is an interesting one.

We see a blended family, the wife with a couple of kids from the previous relationship, her new husband and their baby. The guy has been unemployed for several years prior to their marriage (if they are officially married), and  apparently never bothered to clean or to maintain his house in any way, and the new wife enthusiastically joined him in trashing the council property.

So they and their four children live in what could only be properly described as squalour, yet get rather aggressive when it's pointed out by the social workers. It's rather obvious to anyone that the problem with these so-called "poor people" is simply that they are both incredibly lazy and entitled. The guy won't work and won't do anything around the house, and the wife doesn't encourage him to, and does nothing herself, apart from minimal child care.

The 1949 solution is to temporarily place them in a correction home, where they are taught, among other things, to eat properly at the table, as a family; something which many modern families, who have middle class aspirations don't bother to do any more.

Now compare their way of life with a more traditional British couple, where the mother is at home with their three kids while the father works (though with the popularity of her channel she probably makes quite a bit on advertising, too):

Daily Morning Cleaning Routine

They are apparently well off, and their house is clean and organised. The truth is, that living in what amounts to a pig-sty, never cleaning and never cooking isn't a sign of how progressive and emancipated people are, whatever they are telling themselves. It's a sign of degradation, of poor work ethics and of belonging in a lowest tier of society.

Of course, we all know that both parents working isn't particularly friendly to regular housecleaning, but even in this situation, an effort should be made to maintain at least some semblance of a standard. It's definitely worth it.

A Beautiful Scottish Melody

Generation Snowflake Joins The Army

It comes in handy just after our recent discussion:

Army Redesigning Basic Training

Obviously, discipline and a sense of duty isn't something children are taught nowadays:

What leaders have observed in general is they believe that there is too much of a sense of entitlement, questioning of lawful orders, not listening to instruction, too much of a buddy mentality with NCOs and officers and a lot of tardiness being late to formation and duties," Maj. Gen. Malcolm Frost said. "These are trends that they see as increasing that they think are part of the discipline aspect that is missing and that they would like to see in the trainees that become soldiers that come to them as their first unit of assignment..."

Frost added that not only are trainees sloppy, but have a poor work ethic and are careless with equipment.

They also don't have to learn how to throw a hand grenade any more. Why, will you ask? Simply because they are incapable of doing it:

“We are finding that there are a large number of trainees that come in that quite frankly just physically don't have the capacity to throw a hand grenade 20 to 25 to 30 meters,” Frost said. “In 10 weeks, we are on a 48-hour period; you are just not going to be able to teach someone how to throw if they haven't thrown growing up."

Good luck in taking on China and Iran, guys!

Promiscuity Will Make You A Soy Boy

Ever since the 1960s until recently the masculine ideal  was a James Bond type of man. Any woman he wants he gets, and all that. Recently it started changing to a feminine, nu-male type, with the result that many men opposing feminism did their best to resurrect the stereotypical alpha male ideal, promote it as healthy and wholesome and stress the stark contrast between this "traditional" man and modern "soy boys" Yet, apparently you won't get one without the other.

Ever since the 1970s, studies have been done on the relationship between sexual activity and testosterone, with some studies showing that having lots of sex increased it while others didn't. Recently, another study was made, with the following results:

Across human societies, males have greater interest in uncommitted sex (more unrestricted socio-sexuality) than do females. A recent study found a negative feedback between men's testosterone levels, socio-sexual psychology, and sexual partner number.[26] Specifically, a man’s number of sexual partners is negatively related his testosterone level, i.e. the more sexual partners, the lower the testosterone level.[26] This suggests that testosterone drives “sexual hunting” in men, but is inhibited when the desires are fulfilled. Thus, testosterone promotes sexual intercourse success, which in turn down-regulates testosterone production. Thus, running around too much may backfire.

 

 (Emphasis mine).

In other words, yes, having sex will make a man more masculine, but only with his own wife, or at least, a long-term partner. Chasing sluts will ultimately turn him into this dreaded nu-male type. The funny thing is that before the movie James Bond came along men spending all their free time running after girls weren't considered particularly masculine or worthy of respect.

Men were supposed to do better things with their life than getting easy sex. While it was often tolerated if a man had a mistress, only the lowest classes used the services of prostitutes regularly. And there was no glamour at all attached to "ruining good girls". In fact, there was a good chance her family would kill him or at least, force into marriage which used to be a permanent arrangement.

As the science now reveals, there was a sound reason for this. You can't win a war with an army of soy boys:)

For the reference, this article. 

P.S. I should add that a really masculine man does project this aura of being able to get any woman he wishes, because he is highly desirable, in the same way a beautiful female is desirable to men. However, it appears that just like with women, if he acts too much on these impulses, promiscuous behaviour will hurt him in the long run. One night stands ruin both sexes since we are meant to pair-bond. 

Does Feminism Serve A Purpose?

Men of the 1960s went along with feminism because they were promised free and abundant sex without any strings attached, while women would earn their own living and/or be subsidised by the state. So the men basically exchanged their authority for a responsibility-free life.

However, in the Anglosphere, and most notably in the USA, feminism didn't deliver on its promises. In fact, most men complaining about feminism on the internet, don't really advocate the return of the traditional society, but rather bemoan the fact that they are still expected to provide. However, since they feel cheated, some of them, especially the younger generation start turning against the idea of equality itself. With the onset of #metooism, even the so-called corporate "alphas" become wary of getting involved with women too closely with the result that sexual egalitarianism in America is losing its popularity.

Not so in Europe. Euro countries were more patriarchal to begin with, with men by law being saddled with providing for their widowed sisters as well as aged parents in some countries. Working weeks were long and men were just expected to keep on going, with sexual mores often stricter. The same year that the father's authority over the family was officially abolished in my country, the working week was also made shorter.

Since that time, lots of things changed. A man can knock a girl up but unless he agrees to fatherhood he doesn't have to support her or the children. He doesn't have to marry since shacking up is perfectly acceptable. He isn't solely responsible for the mortgage since the girl will keep on working. Divorce is allowed for any reason with equal custody arrangement available, the house is either sold and the proceeds divided equally or it goes to the one who is the chief breadwinner, spousal support is temporary and seldom awarded etc etc.

In my country, men complain that women aren't feminist enough and still entertain silly ideas of staying home with their kids. Porn isn't considered creepy as in the USA and the culture is much more "sex positive''. So (apart from destruction of the family) what's not to like?

In other words, the more aggressive Northern American feminism is resulting in more opposition from men with the chance that it will also collapse sooner while here it's still Woodstock. Men still haven't got enough of it. They don't seem to realise apparently, that when the men of the tribe become weak, another tribe comes along and...to the winner go the spoils. Does it mean that American guys are our only hope in restoring a traditional society? I don't know. I guess the future will tell...

Fat Thursday And Other Things

Too many things to write about, too little time:)

Anyway, today my husband's Polish colleagues are celebrating Fat Thursday because Lent begins next week (this weekend the Carnival will begin). Apparently, you are supposed to eat sweet breads filled with jam. So even though we aren't Polish and are, in fact, Protestants, I baked this:

The recipe is a modified version of the one published in a 2006 issue of Taste of Home, an American cooking magazine.

To make 12, I used:

ab.1/4c soft butter
ab.1/4c  of lard
4tbsp of sugar
2eggs
ab. 1 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract
some lemon peel
1c white + ab. 3/4 c mixed rye + wholewheat flour
1/2 tsp salt
ab. 1/2 tsp baking soda
ab. 1/2 c creme fraiche (a bit like sour creme but with 30% fat)

For glaze you'll need lemon juice and powder sugar to taste.

Here I'd like to point your attention to how sugar is overused in modern baking, especially in American recipes since the original one called for 1c sugar and even reduced amount that I used made the muffins sweet enough.

Cream the butter, lard and sugar, add the eggs, the peel and extract, mix thoroughly. Add salt and baking soda, then the flours alternately with creme fraiche. Fill paper-lined muffin pan cups (or separate cups) approximately 3/4 full, bake at 200*C/400*F for ab. 20 minutes or until done, cool a bit, remove from the pan and drizzle the glaze all over. Serve warm or cold.

In the picture, my kitchen is dirty. I cleaned it afterwards and it took me more time than making the muffins which brings me to my next point. There are currently lots of homemaking videos on YouTube which is fine, I guess, but some of them give advice on how to clean your house in 30 minutes. My house isn't that big but I never could manage to really clean it in 30 minutes, in my opinion this time is just enough to maintain some semblance of order but to clean mine more or less thoroughly takes me about 3 hours.

What about you?

The Joys Of Modern Society

Two thirds of UK adults feel they have nobody to talk to about their problems, a survey has found.

There is a price tag attached to the destruction of family and community, it appears.
UK government has solutions, though. First, it announced 1 February Time to Talk Day:

"Time to Talk Day is an important reminder of the power of conversation, and how by taking small steps to help others we can all make our own contribution to a better and more mentally resilient society."

People nowadays actually have to be reminded to talk to each other!
Second, it declared a crusade against loneliness:

Prime Minister Theresa May said in January that a series of policy changes - including the creation of a loneliness minister - would be introduced...

Wow, I can't even! This is nanny statism taken to an entirely new level.

Research carried out by the commission found that almost 200,000 older people had not had a conversation with a friend or relative in more than a month. 

We all know that it's mostly women who traditionally care for the elderly, just what did they think would happen when all the women went to work?

It also said that more than nine million people in the UK described themselves as "always or often lonely".

It's a small price to pay for living in an enlightened liberal consumerist society which values stuff above personal relationships, I guess.

And if you do talk to people, don't forget to ask them about their mental health. I'm sure they won't think you a freak...

How To Be A Social Justice Warrior

It isn't easy: