Friday, March 13, 2015

Are Men Doing Their Fair Share?

If you probably remember, we had to put down our cat last February, after about three weeks of fighting for his life. Since my husband works, this whole affair was solely my business and I had to take the final decision (though I phoned my husband at his work, just to share the responsibility a little).

I did feel somewhat resentful because it wasn't mine cat, it was our cat and my husband probably loved him more than me. It wasn't the first time, either, since it was the same story with our previous cat. When I was talking about it with a close relative, she said: "How typical for men. They are never doing their fair share, always letting women deal with all the unpleasant things."

At that time I didn't know what to say, but I kept pondering her words and then I thought that my husband was doing his fair share. He went to work every day so that there was enough money to pay the vet bills (which were very much on the high side) and that I could stay at home and deal with this and other problems. Men providing the income are doing their fair share!

When you are the one staying home it's easy to feel resentful sometimes. Since the husband is away during the day, managing the household and dealing with the children, relatives and pets is largely your responsibility. Feminists have used this discontent to create discord between husbands and wives, and men and women in general.

Our society keeps criticising men for being "workaholics" and that they are never there for their families and children, and thus are lousy husbands and fathers. Just yesterday we were watching a TV series about WWI where one character was telling his story to someone and mentioned how unhappy his mother had been and how she had left her husband in the end because he was only interested in working and making money. Never mind that with this money he paid for his son's expensive education while other boys had to start working at 12 in those times. We are supposed to sympathise with his wife who broke her wedding vows.

Here is a novel thought: men and women are different and they contribute to the welfare of the family in different ways!


  1. Good post! When the kids were young, it was a lot of work to keep the house running smoothly. Now it's much easier with all of them married. My husband still works as hard now as he did then. I have time to go swimming and have coffee with my friends. He's happy that I get to do those things and I appreciate that I can make coffee for him and have supper ready. It's not about who gets the best end of the deal - it's about helping each other and making life pleasant for everyone.

  2. What I don't get is this trend to criticise men for working long hours. You could probably find a lot of drawbacks in the opposite sex, but earning above average isn't one of them:)

    And I agree that the life of a homemaker has its own rewards!

  3. Many women today are incredibly solipsistic, not considering all that men do.

    Of course, the same is true of many men today, too.

  4. If under "solipsistic" you mean "self-centered", I agree!

  5. Housewife from FinlandMarch 16, 2015 at 7:22 AM

    I have had the same thoughts singe we had to take our dog to a minor operation. (She is fine now.) I so wanted to say "Why I have to take YOUR dog to vet?" but I managed to keep my mouth shut because I remembered that I am the one with time. I just found it so stressful that I wanted to blame somebody.

    I think that most men would do more than thei fair share if women just let them. But it is not very motivating if every time you help wife just keeps nagging that "incorrectly helped".

  6. Is it as expensive in Finland as over here? It cost me more than my new bridge had:) And dogs are more expensive than cats!

  7. I mean to treat a dog is more expensive over here.

  8. Housewife from FinlandMarch 16, 2015 at 10:18 AM

    Private vets are rather expensive (or at least it is big money for us :)) and dogs operations are even more expensive than cats. Basic things like vaccinations cost the same but if anesthesia is needed, dog is more expensive. And bigger dogs are usually more expensive than smaller ones.

    Then there are communal vets that are cheaper but we use private one because it is closer and it is easier to fix an appointment.

  9. You have communal vets??? Lucky you! we only have private ones and they are expensive as what.

  10. Housewife from FinlandMarch 17, 2015 at 5:42 AM

    Yes. Communal vets are mostly for livestock/production animals. They supervise animal farms. But they also treat pets if they have time, and mostly they do. I think it is some animal protection law -thing that there must be veterinary services in reasonable prize.

  11. And they say Holland is socialist:) You mean they are communal as being the government employees and the government pays their salary, don't you? Do you have communal farms, too?

    1. Housewife from FinlandMarch 18, 2015 at 6:04 AM

      I think town or county pays their salaries, not goverment, but it is still tax money.

      As far as I know we do not have communal farms. :) There is at least one communal village ran by hippies, though.

  12. 'Solipsistic' is self-centred to the point of doubting that others really exist.