The Case For The Traditional Marriage

Traditional marriage  has long been under attack. Contrary to what some people think, this attack didn't start in the 1960s, but much earlier. It has been rather popular nowadays to assign the blame for its demise solely to women, but how true is it?

Not so long ago, the law of many Western countries recognised the man as the head of the family, but this authority came with the responsibility, as it was expected from the man that he would provide the living. I remember a sermon in our church when an elderly guest preacher said that in his times men didn't see their children, because when they came home from work, children were already in bed, and by the way, Saturday was a working day too, until the end of the 1960s. Than the reform was undertaken, which reduced working hours for men and also eliminated their legal status as the head of the family. Was it a coincidence? Somehow I don't think so.

Since that time most women moved into the workforce and assumed part-time positions, while their husbands started working less and less. However, if you calculate the total amount of hours worked by an average couple with the man in full time employment and his part-time working wife, you'll come to about 50 hours a week and that was how long men used to work in them bad old days of patriarchal oppression. In short, men got emancipated, too, selling their birthright for shorter working hours.

Divorce laws in my country were pretty liberal already since the end of the 19th century, but the divorce rate started growing steadily since married women had entered the employment in large numbers. Several years ago there was a researh which showed that the longer hours the wife worked the higher chance of divorce the couple had, because the man started feeling neglected. When a case is made for married women to stay home, it's usually about the children who miss their mother, but apparently (what a novel thought!), men have their needs, too.

Another big problem with female employment is that a lot of women work in the government-subsidized positions, and their salaries are paid by the taxpayer. Most young girls graduate with diplomas in nursing, teaching and social work and have to compete for positions with married part-timers, while the economy is doing worse every year, and as the governments across Europe implement austerity measures, the amount of jobs for women keeps shrinking.

I believe in general it's rather unproductive to keep discussing who is more responsible for the current mess, men or women. The correct answer is probably both. The modern ideas about marriage are based on the idea of both husband and wife basically continuing to live their separate lives after marriage, which, of course, will never work in practise. The whole idea of marriage is two becoming one flesh. It's time we stopped demanding more rights and started remembering about our duties.