It's actually very easy. To be a good Christian housewife, you need 2 things only. A breadwinner husband and you staying home doing housekeeping.
A disclaimer: I'm not writing this post to criticise other people's choices, but rather to support those women who want to stay home but feel overwhelmed by different things pushed on the internet as a requirement while they are clearly an option. Let's not be like pharisees teaching as doctrine the commandments of men. Some of these things aren't even in the Bible but are simply typical for some (American) Christian subcultures which makes it even more difficult for European women to relate.
This said, to stay home you don't need the permission or agreement of your parents/parents-in-law or other family. Your husband is the head of your household, not his mother, or yours for this matter.
You don't need to have a certain amount of children. You can have 1 child, 3, 10 or none. While the Scriptures call children a blessing there is never a fixed number mentioned. Sarah, a very godly woman who is an example for the believers had none for the most part of her marriage. They also don't have to be of a certain age (young, pre-schoolers etc). They can be all adults and live on their own and you can still be a homemaker.
You don't need to birth them in a certain way. There are those who push home birth as the "only godly option" or will tell you that a C-section is somehow sinful. It's not only nonsense, it's downright irresponsible to give such advice online. The same is true about epidural/natural, induction etc. Those are health decisions which are between the woman and her doctor and disregarding medical advice in such a case can lead to very serious consequences, including death of your baby. Please keep it in mind.
Once the child is born, the new mother is burdened with even more advice from well-wishers. Cloth diapers, co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand till a certain age. To vaccinate or not. Of course, there is nothing wrong with many of these things, but they are personal choices, not religious dogma. Instead of always turning to the internet, why not asking your mother? This is something with which she can help, seeing that she raised you and you turned out fine:)
Another thing that you don't need to do to stay home is home school. Home schooling is typically American. It's not widespread in other countries, some countries such as Germany downright forbid it. Does it mean that a German woman can never be a housewife? Homeschooling is a valid choice, but again, it is a choice. You also don't need to have a home business. Once again, it's personal. It's not commanded anywhere in the New Testament, it's (imo) a legalistic demand based on the certain interpretation of the Proverbs 31, which, btw, is in the OT.
You don't need to dress in a certain way. The Bible talks about modest and distinctly feminine clothes, but doesn't tell you to wear only dark colours, for instance, like some churches do. You don't need to follow a certain diet. You can be a vegetarian or a carnivore, or whatever, it's your personal preference. You don't need to live on a farm/from subsistence farming because "all cities are sinful". Your husband doesn't have to be self-employed. You can send your son to college/university (whether it's a good choice for a daughter is another debate) without sinning.
I could go on and on but I hope you get my point. We have freedom in Christ. Some things are clear commands, like "Thou shalt not commit adultery". Others are up for discussion. You don't have to live a Little House on the Prairie lifestyle like some Christians would tell you, but, of course, you are free to do it if both you and your husband like it.