Here is an interesting video about women regretting their divorces:
Here are a couple of things to consider. First, WARNING: language. Not PG friendly:)
Second, I've know guys who did exactly the thing he says never happens, like leaving his wife for another woman, but his general point stands.
Third, the lady with 4 kids is a real basket case and the ex-husband is much too nice, which is why she probably left him in the first place.
And finally, the last case. I've written on my blog about a similar story, but it ended much worse. The woman hanged herself in front of her minor kids.
Women in the past were taught how to attract men, to make them marry you and, the most important thing, how to keep them. Appears to be a lost art nowadays...
I got married in 1980 ...does dating nowadays mean sex on the first date? It sounds like that was the mistake of the lady who got the brutal text.
ReplyDeleteUnless someone is married to an abuser, an adulterer, chronic drunk, or drug addict, how can anyone believe life divorced with multiple kids is going to be better?
How does anyone with four kids think they'll have time to date to begin with? I guess they think they can live a dream every other weekend when the kids are with Daddy.
As a female, I wouldn't want a man with kids. And at my age, if I were single, I'd be contending with men who have adult children and grandchildren. No way would I want a guy with young kids. No way can I understand the average man wanting a serious relationship with a woman with kids. It's too complicated.
Plus, a single parent needs to be very careful who they let into their kids' lives. Lots of abusers and perverts out there.
These immature women must watch/read too many romcoms.
I will say I agree with the narrator regarding filming oneself crying. Something is emotionally wrong with people who do that IMO. Is it Main Character Syndrome? They live like they're starring in a movie?
I don't agree that men don't divorce/leave women unless the women drove them to it. Lots of selfish, immature men out there who do abandon their wives and children because they want another woman or play the field with many women, and/or they are sick of the responsibility a wife and kids entails.
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DeleteFixing my comment: it wasn't a man who left me, it was my husband.
DeleteI've also heard that there's a high chance of a man divorcing his wife if she gets seriously ill. The idea that men don't do these things is absolutely foolish. I had a man walk out on me bc he wanted to sleep with another woman.
Anna, yes, they do, I forgot to mention, I also knew at least 2 men who walked out on their handicapped wives. Both women were also unreasonable, but it's understandable, given the nature of the disease they had. For better for worse till death do us part no more...
DeleteAnon, this is the 1st time I've heard about "alphabet dating". In my time in the late 1990s/begin 2000 a woman who would do something like this was called a sl8t. She got exactly what she deserved from that guy who stood her up. Men should really stop showing deference to the likes of her.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it still happens that men leave their wives for other women. I've seen it a couple of times in my own circle. However, and that is not to approve of them breaking their marriage vows, in both cases the wife wasn't also blameless. I can't go into much detail due to privacy reasons, suffice it to say, that there was no infidelity on her side, but the lack of marital submission. Men still prefer women catering to their needs.
In general, I agree about the 4"A"s as they used to be called, however, I've also heard women say that they wouldn't care about their husbands' having flings with other women if the said husband was really wealthy. But they won't forgive him if he is a truck driver, lol!
Normally I'd start by saying. "the problem is", but its not simple a problem, its several.
DeleteIn the past young women were shamed by older women out of engaging in such behavior. Today being called a slut is seen as a badge of honor. Seriously, listen to some of the girls talking, they think that being a slut or whore is a good thing. They literally wear the name proudly.
In the case of the men cheating/leaving, generally speaking with some exceptions the majority of the time it comes down to their wives refuse to do their marital duty and blue ball their husbands. After watching countless Whatever podcast episodes and numerous other discussion type podcasts and shows I noticed something that I think could make this make sense to women. In those shows almost none of the women understood why lack of sex was such a problem for men. I think the best way to put it is to ask. How would a woman act if her husband was ignoring her and not giving her any attention or resources. A good woman would probably try talking to her husband. However what young women seem to almost do universally today is immediately find the nearest guy and try to get attention from him. ... Let me amend that statement a bit. Universally is somewhat unfair, however the number of women who have done this has gotten so bad that men now actively talk about it. Think about that for a second. Guys topics for casual talk normally stick to the basics. Work, cool/highly dangerous stuff, and how hot that cute girl looks. So for this to be an active topic an absolute ton of guys have had to have this happen to them.
On a side note branching off a bit from your last paragraph. A few things I have observed.
1) Girls generally like men who are experienced. This is why so many young women like to try to insult a guy by calling him a virgin. (The reverse is not true. Guys generally like virgin women.)
2) There was a meme floating around about 3 years ago. A chad leaned into a cubical at work and said "Hey Cindy" She had hearts over her head. A chubby fellow did the same thing. She called security about a "creep." The point is the top 15%-ish of men generally can do whatever they damn well please and get away with it.
3) Building off of point 2, there was a survey done on tinder I believe. Women were given pictures of 100 men and asked to rate them. They said 80 of those 100 were under average. To be fair we are being slowly poisoned through our food and water. However the point was dating standards for younger women are wildly overblown.
The point of all this is that things are badly out of whack. If there was just one issue causing this I think it could be fixed. However we are living in a wicked and perverse generation, and quite frankly I don't think we have seen just how bad things are going to get. - W
Anon W. I can only speak about things I know, but it is my opinion that internet celebrities always try to attribute any kind of relationship problems people may experience down to s8x. Which is quite understandable because s8x sells. Several years ago there was this German pilot who flew a passenger plane into the mountain because he was losing his eye sight and had mental issues. The 1st thing American internet gurus wrote, was lack of s8x. Turned out he actually had 2 girlfriends, one was pregnant with his child. Also in Germany there are br8thels at every corner with huge billboards along the highway. They don't exactly "lack s8x" over there.
DeleteIn both marriages I had in mind s8x was "the only thing which was good" as I heard. There was a general lack of attention in one and open disobedience to her husband's wishes in the other. when she disobeyed him one more time, he just pulled the plug. He was a dominant high achiever with options. It's not wise in general to disregard your husband's wishes, and especially, his explicit commands of what not to do, when he is the sole provider. She got screwed in court, too.
And btw, before the feminists jump in and say, you see, that's how dangerous it is to stay home, many other divorced women worked and the husbands felt that their careers got more attention than himself. It can happen to anyone. In fact, here in the Netherlands, there was a study which found out that the more hours the wife worked, the closer she was to the divorce court. Though it could be different with the new generation of men who prefer to stay home and chestfeed while wifey makes money...
DeleteLack of sex is hardly ever reason for divorce, if man is "normal". Most men with several kids haver rather sexless marriages at some point, and most of them wont divorce or cheat -they are too tired for that!
DeleteLack of respect and appreciation is the reason. Ask Helen Andelin... Everything I have seen during my half-century has proven her right. Men tolerate almost everything if they feel their wifes respect and appreciate them.
And even without those, they tolerate much more from their wifes than vica versa.
Well, I would say s8x is important, too, but obviously as one gets older they probably won't be having it every day:) When I read internet discussions with men lamenting the lack of it (I remember one guy stated that he needs it 4 times a day or something) I just wonder what kind of job they have and how old they are. Men's libido gets lower as they age, too.
Deleteto W: You do realize, that study done in Tinder tells ONLY what women a) usign tinder and b) willing to answer studies think? It does not tell what ALL women stink. Women using Tinder are scum, pardon my french. And so are men. Decent people do not use it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where you live, if you feel you are getting poisoned? Here in Europe we actually get to choose what we eat and drink, and no, there is no fluorine in drinking water. Only in toothpaste, and it has labels warning not to swallow it.
Hmmm I get where your coming from about tender users being scum, and to be fair a sizable portion of them are. However a number of decent people also tried to use it as a dating app. Which probably wasn't the best decision on their part, but considering the way the world is today is understandable.
DeleteI live in the South in the United States, and in the US starting with the water, fluorine is added to more or less all water sources outside of wells and some small towns/counties. Our food has over the last 60 years gone from being somewhat good for you to being chocked full of processed oils, cornstarch, and sugar. Note you can still find food that is healthy, but its getting harder and harder to do so. Then there is this. Something like 4/5ths of the country are on a cocktail of drugs. Three of five women are on head meds. In the large cities waste-water is reclaimed and reused. Your body flushes those drugs out in your waste water. You cannot tell me that anyone drinking city (read as large metropolises mainly) is not getting traces of everything from estrogen to head meds with every glass of water.
I say we are getting poisoned, not because someone is deliberately feeding us cyanide or something like that. I use the word as a catch all for how what we eat and drink is slowly being replaced with substitutes that are worse and worse for us in the name of profit and greed. - W
Is it illegal to buy a butchered sheep and some veggies from a farmer? Or grow them yourself? Or own some land have your own well?
DeleteThese are all choises you make, you know. And so is going to tinder or eating medicines.
"They" are not doing anything you wont let them.
Blanka, most people nowadays can't cook to save their lives, and many women I know, are unfortunately proud of it. Proud of feeding their families processed crap. I'm sure that even in the USA fresh produce is available.
ReplyDeleteFunny but cooking normal food has become a class thing, too. Lower classes will eat hamburger and French fries while the real (upper) middle class will often cook or at least, go to a decent restaurant. They are also usually not overweight because they eat more or less normally.
ReplyDeleteI would say not knowing how to cook is one's own choice, too. It is heardly nuclear science...
ReplyDeleteAgree about class thing. Lower class people seem to be obsessed about sodas and energy drinks, too.
And there are hamburgers and hamburgers. We resently went to a burger restaurant, that served burgers with their own bread, local beef and chips made of actual potatoes at their own kitchen. Delicious. They even made mayo themselves.
Burgers are also really easy to make yourself.
I meant McDonald's or other fast food restaurants:)
ReplyDelete