Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Are Husbands Supposed To Support Their Wives?

 Recently I read a discussion about polygamy. One guy said that Islam only allows polygamy to provide for widows and orphans/divorced women, but as usual, men abused this right by marrying young hot 2nd wives when their 1st wife grows older, which, in his opinion was very wrong. However, he continued, in the case of helping some poor (war) widow it could be a noble thing to do.

A European lady was surprised. She asked if women in his country worked at all and why would they need a man to provide for them and their children. "In my country everybody works," she stated. Now I wonder which country it is and how did it stray so far from the original design, and I find it especially sad that the lady stated she was a Christian, so let's look at what the Scriptures say about it. A funny thing is that OT allowed polygamy and expressly stated that if the man took another wife, he still had the duty to keep his 1st wife in the way she was accustomed to:

Exodus 21:

 7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.   8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.   9 And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.   10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.   11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

Here is what Matthew Henry wrote on the issue:

"Concerning maid-servants, whom their parents, through extreme poverty, had sold, when they were very young, to such as they hoped would marry them when they grew up; if they did not, yet they must not sell them to strangers, but rather study how to make them amends for the disappointment; if they did, they must maintain them handsomely, v. 7-11. Thus did God provide for the comfort and reputation of the daughters of Israel, and has taught husbands to give honour to their wives (be their extraction ever so mean) as to the weaker vessels, 1 Pet 3 7."

So yes, men are supposed to provide for their wives. And then, of course, there is this famous 1Tim 5:8 verse, which is not only about widows, according to John Gill:

 But if any provide not for his own
Not only for his wife and children, but for his parents, when grown old, and cannot help themselves

This, btw, takes us back to the whole Boomer problem. Boomers are accused of not supporting their adult children financially, while here it is stated that it's adult children who have to provide/care for their aged parents. Hmm


  1. Yes, it is said right there. To each according to their wealth... Some argue that wife was nothing more than property (her father's or her husband's) but I see great love towards women here, gently being taken care of and defending, giving voice (like it is said today) to those without voice. The same with the verse about marrying the girl you raped. First of all I think this was meant to be a hindering law, making the guy thinking twice. But if it happened you had to take care of here to the day she died. Perhaps ''making a girlfriend a dignified woman'' comes from here. And also in Tamar's case. As strange as it sounds in modern eyes to make a child to your brother's widow, it is about her right to have a provider. And as we got here I don't think Onan's sin was wasting his seed or even just having pleasure without ''purpose'', it was the sin of greed, as he was now the eldest son and the double inheritance given to eldest son was quite lucrative I guess.

  2. Turkey still has a law which states that for the rapist to avoid prosecution, he has to marry his victim (if she agrees). They made a whole TV show out of it in 2010. The reason behind this law is that when virginity and chastity are highly valued, the loss of it may hinder the woman's chances of good marriage afterwards, so in a way this variant is better than making everything public. In the show, a girl is raped by rich scoundrels who then bribe/force their poorer friend (who was the only one who didn't do anything but had a blackout due to alcohol/drugs and couldn't remember what happened) to marry her. They fall in love with each other and bring wealthy scoundrels to justice.

  3. I would like to point out that God in his great wisdom actually made men such, that they WANT to provide for their families, and take great proud of it.

    Men do not want to be equal with women, this is true. But they do not want to see us inferior; they want to keep us on pedestial.

    And stupid feminists wanted to come down from there. For what? Money. Creed.

    And, of course, in order to stay on that pedestial one does need some backbone and character. That was assumably too much for feminists.

  4. It's true, men tend to obsess about women. This tendency of theirs has been used to trick them into supporting feminism. So nowadays they obsess about TikTok wh8res instead of wives and mothers.