Thursday, February 8, 2024

Being A Homebody Is OK

We all have probably heard about extrovert-introvert distinction however modern social science thinks these conditions exist as a spectrum and most people fall somewhere in-between (called ambivert), however extroverts are often seen by many as an ideal, especially in business and management.

Our society is biased towards extroverts and it starts at school, as this article documents:

In a way education by its nature favours the extrovert because you are taking kids and putting them into a big classroom, which is automatically going to be a high-stimulation environment. Probably the best way of teaching in general is one on one, but that's not something everyone can afford. So, school ends up becoming this place where introverted kids learn that they have to act like extroverts.

One of the reasons for this is the demands of big business:

But this really reached a pitch when we moved from an agricultural society into the world of big business. And that's when it really became the case that to stand out and succeed in a company, with people that you had never met before, the quality of being very magnetic, very charismatic in a job interview suddenly became very important. This happened at the turn of the 20th century. And, it was some what coincidentally some what not, accompanied by the rise of the cinema and the idea of movie stars. And so movie stars became the ultimate guide on how to be magnetic and charismatic.  

I think we all share this bias to some degree, I mean when you look around you notice that the outgoing, charismatic people are largely considered to be successful and good role models while quiet, reserved people are viewed as mousy. And while the author of the article claims that women are allowed to be "more demure", this is not the case, in my opinion, and women are constantly encouraged to be loud, aggressive and spend as little time at home as possible.

I remember how a friend was embarrassed that she was seen knitting through the window by a postman, "because knitting is for old(er) ladies", just like cross-stitching and other quiet hobbies. 

Yet, if extreme extroverts aren't even a majority why should we all be catering to them? May be some women really detest staying home and would rather be out engaging in office drama and slaying dragons, but what about the other type of women? Those who actually like being at home? Why should they be ashamed of who they are?

Recently I was following a discussion on social media where a lady said exactly this. Work sucks. I'm glad I can stay home with my children. I like being at home anyway. And another answered along the lines that she was a homebody, too, and the mom of several (!) small kids yet people were telling her she needs a job otherwise she'll get crazy from staying home. Well guess what, some of us would get crazy if they had to stay in the office the whole day.

Home is not a prison and it's OK to be there often and to like it:)


  1. A normal housewife doesn't even stay home the whole day, there is so much to do, bringing children to school, visiting with friends and family, running errands, doctor's appointments etc etc. It's not like we are all chained to our stoves:)

  2. Well I chained myself to my wood burning stove LOL. With double electricity prices compared to last year (and wood shed full of fire wood) and really cold winter that's a win-win-win ;-D

  3. Well the 1st thing the stores did here when gas became so expensive, was to raise prices of wood;)

    1. Nat.gas for you Americans, not benzine. Though it's expensive, too.