Sunday, March 12, 2023

Reasons For Divorce

 People like these online debates but they are really going nowhere since all divorce nowadays per definition is a no-fault divorce. They (divorced people) can cite any reason to you or no reason at all or something vague about "being incompatible" and you will never know the truth.

In the times past the official reasons for divorce were sometimes called "the 4 "A"s" as it was adultery, abandonment, abuse and addiction. However, the wife couldn't just go to the judge and claim her husband abused her and a man couldn't simply accuse his wife of adultery, you needed to prove it in court, sometimes with witnesses. 

The only way to prevent the majority of divorces happening nowadays is to change the law and go back to the old system. Then as the new laws are being written we could debate what really constitutes abuse and is grounds for divorce or does the husband refusing to work constitute abandonment or some such thing. Until that, it's all just empty words.

In a dating situation, every man and every woman will have to decide for themselves whether this divorced person they like so much had Biblical grounds for divorce or should they take a safe road and dump him or her.

Despite what libertarians tell you (and many Boomers unfortunately fell for these lies) the law does indeed influence and modify human behaviour. It's not the only factor as the culture is a big one, too which, of course, includes the mass media. However, the MSM and the culture, too, are subject to the influence of the laws of the country. In the much-demonised 1950s, for instance, the laws and codes in the USA forbade showing divorce in a positive light in entertainment, which influenced the way people thought about it.

You can notice it in non-Western cultures, too. The countries which prohibit the Islamic practice of using Talak 3 times as a way to divorce one's wife like Turkey and India have much less divorce than say, Iraq where it is allowed and where, from what I read in the recent years it became quite common for the men to divorce their wives for any small reason (because, unlike what meninists online will tell you, men aren't immune to sinful behaviours).

Turkey also prohibits polygamy and there is a strong expectation that the man will be the breadwinner and the wife a homemaker. However, they also have a law which states that a married woman can't be legally employed unless her husband allows it, in writing. 

So they have a law supporting traditional family + a strong cultural expectation that the man will be the sole breadwinner which more or less counteracts their media (Their TV shows are pretty liberal and nowadays even feature strong female warriors and stuff).

That's why all this finger-pointing about who is to blame for the present mess, men or women simply makes no sense. I'd say both are to blame, but when the MSM is an absolute poison AND the law attacks the traditional family, you can't expect any other result. 

If someone else is to blame, it's absolutely the Church collectively as they mostly refuse to speak truth to power, unlike the martyrs of the past times. I mean imagine John the Baptist would be so cowardly?

All this doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to positively influence the culture around us, or that it's impossible to live like a good Christian or even have a traditional family, but in the current climate it's getting increasingly difficult and many struggle. Society as a whole won't change for better though unless and until the laws  change, and no revival will help. Christians should have no libertarian illusions about that. 

An encouraging thought is that we still have pockets of resistance and are free to practise our religion and live the way we like. You can still choose to marry instead of living together, not to get divorced, have traditional "gender" roles and raise your kids the same way. Just don't expect that everybody or even most people around you will approve, and that, unfortunately, sometimes will include your own family and even other Christians. But why should you care if you know you are doing right?

As someone said so well, it's doesn't really matter what other people say and do. It's only what the Bible says what matters...


  1. Excellent points, all. There's also always been an elite, minority which agitated for these dastardly legal and cultural changes. They then trickle down to the masses. Them within two generations the thing has become the norm.

  2. Thanks! Sometimes I think if folks just turned off the TV it already would bring a change for the better. That's where the most propaganda comes from.