Thursday, May 16, 2013

How To Enjoy Homemaking

A lot of modern housewives seem not to take pride in their occupation. When you ask them what they do they will tell you, "I'm just a housewife," in an apologising tone, as if they are secretly ashamed of themselves. Some women even will go so far as to say that they are searching for a job (though as years go by they still seem not to be able to find it). It's probably not surprising at all, considering the low status which homemaking currently enjoys.

However, while it's easy to point the finger at the state of society which doesn't value the family and traditional marriage as it should, the blame partly lies at our own feet. As housewives we should hold our heads high and be proud of the profession we freely chose. Others will judge all the homemakers by the way we behave and present ourselves. Staying home and managing the household should feel not like drudgery but like a privilege, so I decided to offer some tips on how to enjoy homemaking.

The first thing to do is to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. Stop comparing yourself to career women. Their life may seem glamorous on the outside but you have really no way of knowing how it is on the inside. It may very well be that while you are envious of their freedom from domestic chores and that extra money they are secretly envying you because you get to stay home with your kids all day and don't have to spend your time listening to the office gossip. As for drudgery, it exists in every occupation.

Consequently, you should not spend too much time in company of people who make disparaging remarks about housewives or make you feel inferior in any way for not working outside home. Friends should respect each other, if your friends don't respect the choices you made, you'd probably be better off without them. Avoid negative people in general. A person like this may ruin your whole day. I'm not talking here about someone who just had a bad day, but about a person who consistently makes negative remarks about everything and is never happy.

Be careful in what you watch on the TV and the magazines you read. Unfortunately, modern media seems to take perverted pleasure in attacking the homemaker. One article I read went so far as to say that if you quit your job, you will die from heart attack in a half year time, from boredom. If any MSM personality is by any chance reading this blog, yes, that's the reason I'm not wasting any money on your trashy "ladies" magazines. I'm not subsidising people who hate me.

The same is true about many TV shows. A housewife must really have masochistic tendencies to watch the programs which constantly attack her and tell her how worthless and stupid she is. You'd spend your time much better  watching I Love Lucy or I Dream Of Jeannie or some other show like this where homemakers are respected.

Stop comparing yourself to other women. We are all different and each of us has her own strengths and weaknesses. You may never have such a spotless house as the lady next door, but may be you really can cook much better than her. While the housewife should take care that the house is looking neat and the meals are ready on time, there is still room for personal preferences in housekeeping. May be ironing is not your strong point, but your garden really looks great.

If you have children, teach them to help. You are the Queen of your castle, not a domestic servant and you should not allow your children to treat you as one. Of course, when you delegate certain tasks to the children, their age and abilities should be taken into consideration as well.

The next point to consider is that you are not a robot and need some time to rest. You'll probably accomplish more in one day if you  regularly take tea or coffee breaks. Try to plan your work so that you have some time left in the afternoon for a creative hobby, such as knitting or for reading a book in the garden. Working at home is not the same as working at a factory. You plan your own day and you can afford to slow down and relax sometimes.

It could be so that you feel rather lonely at home. Lots of women choose to work part-time for social contacts. However, it's not necessary to seek regular employment to meet people. You can join a gym or go to a swimming pool, you can become a member of a club, you can organise afternoon tea in your own home, or become friends with mothers at your children's school or with neighbours. The possibilities of meeting other people are endless, and it's all up to you.

The last thing I'd like to talk about today, is money. If you don't have an income, other people may look down at you because you don't contribute. It's typical for our materialistic times that we only value people for material benefits they bring. There are two things to consider, however. First, not everything can be measured in dollars and cents. Creating a cosy home for your family is certainly an achievement, even though you don't see it reflected on your bank balance sheet. Second, a good housewife is also a prudent manager and this will benefit her family materially as well.

Finally I'd like to say that our life is what we make out of it. Some people have a disposition to always be unhappy, in whatever circumstances. Try to look at the bright side instead. There are so many interesting things to learn and to do at home, especially now when we have internet and other modern conveniences. If you are bored at home try studying trigonometry instead of watching Oprah. I bet it will help!


  1. Great post! I've stopped talking to two career moms who kept putting me down for not working. I don't want to judge, but they don't seem to enjoy cooking nor their children very much. I work very part time now but that is going to end soon.

    1. For some ladies it's unfortunately their relatives who give them hard time for not working outside home. It all happens because homemaking is simply not seen as a respectable profession any more. However, I think if the homemakers start taking pride in what they are doing it will change. Part of this strategy is supporting those who show homemakers in a positive light. For instance, while certain women's magazines still toe the 1970s party line, there are nowadays many new crafts and cooking magazines which indirectly promote domesticity so that we have a choice. And of course, there is internet which is a great way for all traditionally-minded ladies to unite!

  2. Amen! I can't tell you how many times people assume I'm lonely and/or bored because I'm a homemaker w/o children. Nothing could be further from the truth, I enjoy being home and I don't mind being alone....I'm good company, LOL! ;)

    And you are so right that ALL jobs have drudgery....At one time I worked in an office, and it ALL seemed like drudgery. At least at home I can decide what I do and when I do it. If the day is nice outside I can save the housework (most of it) for another day and enjoy the day. I am so BLESSED!

    1. Yes, I agree that staying home is a blessing, especially in modern economy when so many people struggle to make both ends meet. The problem is a lot of people seem to not be able to find a balance in their life. On the one hand, we have a stereotypical lazy housewife who spends her time watching soaps and complaining, on the other hand there is a hyperactive homemaker who never allows herself a minute of rest and is always overworked. It doesn't have to be so, imho. Home life should be a source of peace and joy (of course, it's not always possible with small children, family emergencies etc but we can at least strive for it).

      And I agree about being your own best friend:)!


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