Women As The Property Of Men

Some lies are so often repeated that people start taking them for granted. One of these lies is that throughout the ages women were considered as nothing more than the property of their fathers and husbands. Of course, even in ancient times, when slavery was practised in every society on Earth, the husband couldn't usually sell his wife at the marketplace.

The father of the family sometimes had such a right over both his sons and daughters. That's what Wikipedia says about the authority of the Roman pater familias: "The pater familias had the power to sell his children into slavery; Roman law provided, however, that if a child had been sold as a slave three times, he was no longer subject to patria potestas" (Read the whole article over here ). As the society progressed, the right to sell the children into slavery was severely restricted.

Daughters could be emancipated from their fathers' authority by law, which gave them the right to take legal action on their own behalf. Roman freeborn women had the citizen status and though they couldn't vote, they could own land and write their own will (Read  the Wiki entry on the status of women in Rome). Roman marriage law was somewhat complicated by the existence of two forms of marriage, marriage cum manu when the wife came under her husband's authority, and a more equal marriage when she retained her maiden name and her property rights, plus the existence of concubinage, but it's not my objective to write about it in more detail, it's enough to point out that Roman women could hardly be considered property.

When we turn to the Bible, we have Numbers 30, which deals with the subject of vows. As we can see, while the daughter in her youth is subject to her father's authority, just as the wife is subject to that of her husband, a widow and a divorced woman can act in their own name: "But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her." Numbers 30:9. This Biblical principle became the basis of the distinction in status of married vs single women in the West.

As Thomas Fleming states in his article The Wrongs Of Women Rights II: Coverture: "Under English law a single woman could make contracts, sue in her own name, and manage her own property; however, once she married, such rights were merged into her husband's legal identity." However, women being under their husbands' authority didn't mean that they were regarded as property.

The position of the husband was that of a guardian: "Even in the old Common Law tradition, man and wife were not so merged that women had no legal identity.  The wife’s position was not that of a possession but of her husband’s ward.  She could, for example, maintain property rights, though they were limited by her husband’s authority."

While legally the man was the head of the family, it also meant that he was considered responsible for the welfare of his wife and children: "the husband is bound to provide his wife with necessaries by law, as much as himself; and if he contracts debts for them, he is obliged to pay them.....If the wife be indebted before marriage, the husband is bound afterwards to pay the debt."

He was also held responsible for his wife's wrongdoings: "The husband, at least in law, was the presumed master of the house and, consequently, could be held liable for his wife's torts, including those to which she had been liable before marriage, and for misdemeanors and certain felonies that were performed in his presence and could thus be presumed to be done under his orders.  In criminal cases  the husband's complicity did not have to be proved, and he, rather than the wife, was subject to punishment." (If you are interested, you can read the whole article here)

Whether you agree with such an arrangement or not, you have to conclude that the position of the wife was still not comparable to that of a slave. Coverture hardly makes the case for women being treated as property, and even some modern women desire the return of this legal principle (for instance, the author of this article essentially argues for the restoration of the coverture laws, at least to some degree).


To sum it up, traditionally, women were never viewed as men's property, at least in Western countries. Single women could conduct business, own property and manage their own affairs. A married woman was under the authority of her own husband (not all other men!), but this authority came with obligations, financial and otherwise, which made her position desirable. She was certainly much higher in status than a slave. Managing the household was considered an important job, unlike now. Another myth busted!

A Day At Home

There are periods in a homemaker's life when things are more hectic than usual. It can be due to stress or illness, or some other things. Sometimes it's our own fault because we cram our lives with activities to the point that we neglect our domestic duties. There are but so many hours in a day, and as one is getting older, one has less energy and needs more rest.

I remember once reading an article with a title "Your Home Is A Mess And So Is Your Life" and found it to be true, though it's something we often tend to forget. However, it can also be vice versa, when your life is a mess, you have less energy and inclination for housework. On the other hand, housework can have a therapeutic effect as it calms your nerves.

Sometimes, the only thing you need is a quiet day at home without any visitors or appointments which you can entirely devote to housekeeping. I had such a quiet day today and I enjoyed it immensely. My life has been pretty chaotic lately, due to the circumstances chiefly beyond my control (sickness in the family etc), and as things are getting back to normal it feels like waking out of a bad dream.

I came to conclusion that the famous female capacity for multitasking is another feminist myth. Yes, it's true that as women we often have to do several things at once, but in order to have anything done properly you must concentrate on it and have enough time to finish the task, otherwise you'll be constantly frustrated. I also decided that I should stop trying to be a superwoman, like the one I keep reading about on (some) blogs.

You know, the one who simultaneously homeschools five children at a university level, keeps an immaculate house, cooks three delicious meals every day, bakes her own bread, runs a highly profitable home business, grows her own vegetables, and finds time for a daily workout at a gym, too! I keep reading about such fantastic ladies but I have never met one in a real life.

Now, come to think of it, it's mostly certain men's blogs which put forward such an image, which makes me realise how lucky I am that I have a husband who just accepts me as I am, an average 30+ housewife who sometimes fails to cook dinner on time and can spend an hour gossiping on a phone. He even doesn't object to my sunbathing in the garden with a friend (it only happens occasionally though because normally we don't have that much sun in Holland:).

Well, I'm aware that my testimony will probably disappoint some of my readers, because we tend to idealise things and people, especially those we know little about, but so be it:) And now I'm off to make dinner, otherwise it will be one of those days when we have to order a takeout!:)

My Little Garden

Just a couple of pictures:

Strawberries. I used to have a strawberry plant but one winter it was too cold so it froze. I bought this one a couple of days ago.

Salvia officinalis. Not sure of its English name.

My husband tells me this one is called Solidago. Here is one more picture of it:

The lantern used to be bright yellow once:)

Some violets (at least, I know their English name!)

This one is a nameless plant, since even my husband doesn't know what it is:)

Lavender (above) and petunia (below)

And the general view of the whole terrace:

With the cat as a bonus!

Taking Care Of One's Husband

My housekeeper quitted today. She is going to get married in a couple of weeks. While talking with her about the importance of marriage I thought how many women forget their husbands' needs which often leads to dire consequences. It gave me an idea for the subject for today's post, so I'd like to remind all my lady readers (I'm not sure if I have any gentlemen readers at this point, but still...): take a good care of your husband! Don't neglect him! Husbands are in some ways like children, they require constant attention:)

When he comes home from work, greet him with a smile and a cup of coffee (or tea, or an aperitif, whatever he prefers:). In the evening, when the children go to bed, don't retire to your own bedroom, stay with your husband and keep him company. Serve some snacks and drinks and chat with him, or just sit close to him and knit or read a book.

Feed him well. Most husbands appreciate freshly baked things like cake and apple pie. Rub his shoulders. Tell him what a great guy he is and how you are the most fortunate woman on Earth to have married him. (Of course, now and then it's useful to remind him, too, what a treasure you are, but that's the topic for another discussion:). Don't get fat, and if you by any reason put on weight, try to lose it. Don't cut your hair short (unless your husband insists on you having short hair, which in my experience, husbands seldom do). It seems that one of the first things a woman does after she gets married is to chop her hair off. It has gone so bad, that a customer at my husband's company was asking him if his wife (me) had hair and congratulated him on marrying a woman who does:). Wear attractive clothes around the house.

The most important thing of all is, never take your husband for granted! He is not a walking ATM, who exists to bring you and the kids his paycheck, he is a human being and he has his needs, sexual and otherwise. If you don't fulfill them at home, some other woman will. Don't kid yourself into thinking that because you have children together, it will stop him. If the man wants to leave, he does. Next time you are nasty to your old man, please remember there are lots of prowling women out there who'd just love to have him.

Marriage is a lot of work, especially nowadays when the family is under attack and the society is utterly decadent. A wise woman is like glue which holds her family together. Please, dear reader, be nice to your husband!

That Darn Cat

That Darn Cat is a very funny 1965 Disney movie featuring a Siamese tomcat who helps FBI investigate a serious crime. Not alone, of course, but together with his owner, a cute teenage girl. That Darn Cat is a great film for the whole family, and especially for the animal lovers among us. Made me think about what is our cat doing when he goes outside every night. He is probably up to no good, as well:)

Watch the whole movie over here: That Darn Cat

Below is the opening title sequence:

XXI Century Housekeeping Trends

Housekeeping, just like everything else is influenced by the current fashions. There are some interesting trends in modern housekeeping which I'd like to write about.

Little House On The Prairie trend is all about living a simple, pioneer style life. Those who are trying to follow it will often tell you that cities are full of sin and iniquity and that living in the country is much better. If they can't right away move to some remote farm, they will try to recreate the farm life as far as possible, growing their own food, raising chickens etc.

The Back To Nature trend is close to the one mentioned above, with one difference: while the Little House On The Prairie lifestyle appeals more to conservative/ fundamentalist Christians, the Back To Nature style is more for the environmentally minded people (who may or may not be Christians). For the rest, they are chiefly interested in the same thing: local produce, thrift, making your own things, which will sometimes include such exotic hobbies as spinning and weaving.

Vintage/Victorian trend is similar in some ways to the two others, but there is more accent on refinement and old-fashioned values and often clothes. Women who follow it will often wear vintage styles, organise Victorian tea parties and study calligraphy in order to write letters. In their free time instead of spinning they will practice playing the piano.

Efficient Housewife style is for women who want to run their household as a little factory. Their day is usually planned till the last minute, and if you want to visit them, you must make an appointment a month before. The floor is so clean you can eat from it, and everything is always in its place. Children aren't allowed to bring their schoolfriends home, because they will make a mess.

Bohemian trend is in total opposition to the efficient one, as there is usually a creative mess everywhere in the house. The husband has to search for clean shirts, and the meals are never on time, but the wife is always busy with something creative, like working on the latest dress or her home business (which in that case seldom brings any profit, but just gives her "something to do").

Then there is posh housekeeping where the family are wealthy enough to hire help and where there are standards to keep. Think along the lines of "Keeping Up Appearances", and you will get a general idea of what it means. On the other hand, we have tightwad or extreme thrift trend which some people practise because they really have no spare money, and others do it because they are a modern version of Scrooge.

Well, I hope it was helpful. If you know any other trends which modern housewives follow, feel free to mention them in the comments section. In case someone didn't notice, all of the above was written tongue-in-cheek.

Tea Bread

I baked it on Monday. Here is the recipe:

5c all purpose flour
2pkg dry yeast (14g)
3dl milk
1 egg
50g butter, melted
2TBSP sugar
2.5 TSP salt

Combine flour and salt, mix well. Dissolve yeast  in warm milk, stir into the flour mixture, together with melted butter and the egg. Mix and knead till smooth end elastic (it was actually very easy to knead and didn't require much effort); cover and let rise for about 35 min. Knead one more time and roll out, spread about 1 TBSP jam and roll up. I also twisted it a bit, hence the form of the loaf. Let rise for another 35 min. Place on the greased baking sheet and bake at 240*C for about 25 min. Take out, brush with milk and return to the oven for 1 more minute. It tastes great with butter and jam by a cup of tea or coffee.

Home Magazines I Like

Someone asked me about European home magazines, so I decided to write a post featuring some of the magazines I read. I don't make any money on advertising, I just really happen to like them. Unfortunately, nearly all of these magazines are not available in my country, so when I go on vacation to Germany I always buy a whole bunch of them.

Germany has a great choice of all sorts of ladies' magazines, about cooking, gardening, interior decoration, crafts and such like. I think Burda is famous all over the world. I'm not that good at sewing, but I always buy the knitting magazine from Burda called Verena which is also available in Dutch:

I like the patterns they feature and they also have some interesting articles about new yarns and trends. It's practically the only knitting magazine which I buy.
 Rezepte Pur is a cooking magazine in German which has no articles of any sorts, only the recipes:

In contrast to similar Dutch magazines it only costs 99 cents and you get a lot for your money. They also publish menues for the whole month and have the suggestions for quick meals for busy people (like me!:)

Then you have Lisa, which publishes several magazines for women on various topics. I'm not sure whether they are all wholesome, but I always buy two of them, Lisa Wohnen, about interior decoration; and Lisa Blumen und Pflanzen, about gardening:

Lisa Wohnen has Do-It-Yourself projects and sometimes even features housewives, like the issue above. German interior magazines also often show normal, average people instead of wealthy double income couples who buy houses for more than one million euros and then pay one more million to renovate them according to modern standards. Lisa Blumen Und Pflanzen, for instance, also has suggestions for people who have a small balcony instead of a garden:

Lisa Wohnen offers entertainment tips and, of course, recipes. Besides Lisa, there is also Laura Wohnen, a great magazine which is basically a different version of Lisa, it also has DIY projects, articles on different decoratiing styles, home makeovers, recipes etc etc. It's more about home than about garden though, and by some reason I prefer it to Lisa Wohnen, probably because it's more shabby chic.

The last magazine I'd like to talk about today is Wohnen Und Garten, which is all about cottages, cottage gardens and things like that. The photography is simply gorgeous. The June 2013 issue had an article about Jane Austen:

and some delicious summer recipes:

Well, that about sums it up! I hope it was helpful.

Summer Modesty

A lot of ladies complain that they can't find modest clothes in the shops. It may be true to some degree, but I believe sometimes it can be helped. Take this dress, for instance:

It's low cut and sleeveless:

And this top:

It looks more like underwear and is made of sheer fabric. Both items are not the most modest things to wear. However, what happens if we combine them?

As you can see, the cleavage is covered now. Here you can take a closer look:

It is now decent enough to wear around the house in warm weather, but it's still sleeveless, so if you go out, you'll probably want to pair it up with a cardigan, like this:

A short-sleeved cardigan is ideal when it's hot outside:

When the weather is cooler, you can opt for a cardi with long sleeves, like that:

Add the shoes of your choice, and your outfit is complete!