Well, since some of my readers want to talk about s8x, I'm happy to oblige:)
Is s8x important in marriage? Apparently, there exists some controversy about this issue. For a valid marriage to take place, traditionally it had to be consummated (i.e. the husband and wife were supposed to have s8x with each other). Even in medieval times, one could get an annulment if the consummation didn't happen.
Before Vatican II the Catholic Church taught married women it was their duty to give s8x to their husbands under the penalty of mortal sin. And in the predominantly Protestant countries such as the USA the husband could get a divorce if his wife refused to fulfill her "marital duties" (mentioned in "Gone With The Wind").
However. S8x was tied to reproduction. Martin Luther thought that practicing contraception is worse than incest and called those who don't want to have children pigs and monsters. The Roman Catholic Church taught (and still does) that using anti-conception was sinful (they kinda allow the natural fertility stuff nowadays, with caveats). And in the 1920 USA when all divorce was based on fault, there was a case of a woman who was granted a divorce because her husband used contraception and thus denied her offspring.
And if you didn't want to have children, then pity, but no s8x for you. I'm not saying here that it was the correct approach, just giving you some information to think about.
Further on, in the times when the wives were expected to "do their duty" men were expected to do theirs and provide, something many modern young men don't exactly fancy doing. They prefer to hang around, watch Netflix and breastfeed to working hard and supporting their family. Because marriage isn't about duty nowadays, but about something else entirely. Hence all the problems we can see around us.
There is something else which is interesting. Since Victorian times there is this idea that men have animal nature while women are all pure and angelic and have to submit to their husbands' whims while basically having no pleasure (the famous "lie back and think of England stuff). It didn't use to be like this before and it's not typical outside of the West. For instance, there was this man in India who became famous because he married and fathered children in his 90s. He told to the newspaper that he could do it several times per day and that his wife was very pleased.
While Victorian morals disappeared long ago, the idea that s8x is a chore and a burden for women somehow still persists. It shouldn't be like this, obviously. But the idea that s8x fixes all marital problems is wrong, too. In fact, I knew women whose husbands divorced them despite s8x being good. Because everything else was bad. In the end of the day, s8x is only one aspect of a healthy marriage so we shouldn't make an idol out of it.
That's all for today, feel free to leave a comment;)
Not a bad post, but when it comes to young men, you need to get out more and recognize what is happening. I'm well past the young man stage, but these days at least in the US there is not many reason for most men to invest in the system anymore. That means society in general and almost any church. These idiotic young women who you know, are mature right out of the vagina and have zero faults (I realize this is not your view, just making a point) have some pretty stupid demands on income expectations while voting for more socialist/communist BS.
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm not ugly, my income level would not make me attractive to most women around my age. I'm past the half way mark in life, so an old white guy like me getting a 'high paying' job is about as likely as me dating a super model.
Another issue to consider is that AI/AI robots and these job saving systems for lack of a better description are going to make getting a job very interesting for millions and billions of us out in the world. So I don't think it's an issue of a good man not wanting to provide to a woman that treats him well, it's an issue of that these jobs are not in plentiful supply.
As for the bedroom stuff, I liked nothing better than holding hands with my lady when in public and spending time on the weekends together which made her a more giving person in other ways. I liked cooking for her and bringing her some flowers once in a while.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteIt boils down to this. What men and women expect and need are completely different. It is the same reason why there is such a massive argument about virginity and why men and women do not see eye to eye.
The truth of the matter is both genders need, not just want, but need two different things. For Men we need sex, a physical intimacy. To men a marriage without sex is practically dead. Frustration will continue to mount as will eventually anger the more often he is refused by his wife, and he will start being tempted to look elsewhere.
For women they need attention and validation. Just as men need sex and physical intimacy, women need to be given attention and validation. Oh sure they like sex too, but if her husband doesn't pay attention to her or give her validation, so too does she get tempted to get it elsewhere.
Again men and women are different, take the arguing about virginity. Men if we were willing to be honest would put its priority in the top three features to look for in a wife. For women, they do not consider it a priority because to them it is not that important and thus do not seem to understand why men prioritize it so much. Frankly it must seem like hypocrisy to them because a guy who gets many women is celebrated, but a woman who sleeps around is a whore.
The thing is, once again different priorities. In this case it is quite literally because we were designed to be this way. I have no proof, but I will stand by this until Jesus returns, that the Lord designed us this way to tie men and women together.
Women take great pleasure in their baby's first steps, first words, first more or less everything. They get quite angry if they miss it, or couldn't be there due to having to work. The same is true for men except of our wives. We take great joy in being her first, to show her things, to experience things with her. Not just sex, but nearly anything. We love showing her the world, even if its our first time too. I say that I believe the Lord designed us this way for this next bit. Women, not men, but women tend to latch on tightly to their teachers. To those who show them things. There is a reason many young women's first crush was a teacher in school. There is a reason why a woman who has been with a hundred men will still think back to the very first man she was ever with. This was supposed to be between husband and wife, a way to bind the couple together long enough for a marriage to form properly.
Part 3
ReplyDeleteFrankly the whole thing is a mess. Normally I tend to side with slapping both sides and telling both to do better. With this issue, without women fixing their issues things will continue to go downhill until eventually someone says enough and strips them of all rights. What we are seeing right now is men having enough. There is a phrase I have heard and agree with.
"Young men are expected to put in four times the effort of their grandfathers, for women who are worth four times less than their grandmothers."
So that is my $0.02 And I'll be honest, it kind of feels like its being shouted into the void really. We are watching .... well I was going to say white civilization die, but in reality, the same pattern is taking place in every nation in the world currently.
A watchman channel I watch tossed out a thought a few weeks ago. He pondered that what we might be seeing is God's mercy. By looking at the signs we are near the rapture and the Great Tribulation. His thought was that the Lord was willing to allow this to happen so those who go through it would do so with as few children as possible. Not that he won't take the children with the saved, but to keep the young men and women from being too distracted from grief to pay attention to save their lives and souls in what is to come.
And that is my final $0.02 I kind of got carried away a bit there, but honestly to me its like watching a train wreck in progress. You know its gone off the rails, but you can also see people who just can't seem to acknowledge that things are falling apart around them.
- W
Post Note : I should mention "I knew women whose husbands divorced them despite s8x being good. Because everything else was bad." I don't disagree, but as I stated above the majority of those marriages that things get that bad is because either there is no sex (men) or no attention and validation (women). There of course are plenty of other issues too, but those seem to be the broadest categories.
Post Note : I didn't realize how long this actually was and was forced to break it up.
The jobs and incomes are not there anymore for man or woman to support themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe End Of Our World Is Coming As Americans Struggle Like Never Before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4O1CUy5yOw