Let's Talk About S*x!

Well, since some of my readers want to talk about s8x, I'm happy to oblige:) 

Is s8x important in marriage? Apparently, there exists some controversy about this issue. For a valid marriage to take place, traditionally it had to be consummated (i.e. the husband and wife were supposed to have s8x with each other). Even in medieval times, one could get an annulment if the consummation didn't happen.

Before Vatican II the Catholic Church taught married women it was their duty to give s8x to their husbands under the penalty of mortal sin. And in the predominantly Protestant countries such as the USA the husband could get a divorce if his wife refused to fulfill her "marital duties" (mentioned in "Gone With The Wind").

However. S8x was tied to reproduction. Martin Luther thought that practicing contraception is worse than incest and called those who don't want to have children pigs and monsters. The Roman Catholic Church taught (and still does) that using anti-conception was sinful (they kinda allow the natural fertility stuff nowadays, with caveats). And in the 1920 USA when all divorce was based on fault, there was a case of a woman who was granted a divorce because her husband used contraception and thus denied her offspring. 

And if you didn't want to have children, then pity, but no s8x for you. I'm not saying here that it was the correct approach, just giving you some information to think about.

Further on, in the times when the wives were expected to "do their duty" men were expected to do theirs and provide, something many modern young men don't exactly fancy doing. They prefer to hang around, watch Netflix and breastfeed to working hard and supporting their family. Because marriage isn't about duty nowadays, but about something else entirely. Hence all the problems we can see around us. 

There is something else which is interesting. Since Victorian times there is this idea that men have animal nature while women are all pure and angelic and have to submit to their husbands' whims while basically having no pleasure (the famous "lie back and think of England stuff). It didn't use to be like this before and it's not typical outside of the West. For instance, there was this man in India who became famous because he married and fathered children in his 90s. He told to the newspaper that he could do it several times per day and that his wife was very pleased. 

While Victorian morals disappeared long ago, the idea that s8x is a chore and a burden for women somehow still persists. It shouldn't be like this, obviously. But the idea that s8x fixes all marital problems is wrong, too. In fact, I knew women whose husbands divorced them despite s8x being good. Because everything else was bad. In the end of the day, s8x is only one aspect of a healthy marriage so we shouldn't make an idol out of it. 

That's all for today, feel free to leave a comment;)