I remember reading a Canadian magazine someone brought me years ago. It had a story about a feminist lady, and the author's attitude was obviously positive. One thing I still remember is that when the lady in question was getting married and the preacher was doing the wedding sermon, when he came to the words "for better for worse" she interrupted him and said "for better or never". I think it sums up modern attitudes about marriage pretty well, for both men and women.
I also remember how I was a little girl and wondering why people divorce. I asked my mother if she ever could divorce my father. She told me that my father was just as much her family as me or her parents and that you can't divorce your family because whatever they do, they still stay your family. If you have children, teach them that family aren't expendable, by words of mouth and by example.
C.Lewis wrote about divorce that it wasn't so much the sexual aspect, but rather breaking your solemn oath, which made it truly despicable. Ironically, he himself married a divorced woman, yet I still think it was a good argument to make. Our culture is shallow and materialistic, it values feelings above common sense, material wealth above friends and family and mocks such traditional virtues as chastity and loyalty. It went so far that in discussion on some supposedly Christian site, women were belittled and attacked for staying virgins as apparently, it made them "holier than thou." We aren't afraid to fall in sin any more, we are afraid to judge.
Yet sometimes it's necessary. Many Christians nowadays say something along the lines of "hate the sin, love the sinner." It's true, to a degree, yet the Scriptures teach us that it's sinners and not their sins that are going to burn in Hell for eternity, something we never like to think about any more. The Scriptures also call the wife departing from her husband "treacherous" and have some things to say about the men divorcing, too.
In our licentious times, the last thing one should be afraid of is "legalism" (mostly trotted out when a woman wants to dress and behave modestly), and being "holier than thou" for following God's commandments on sexual behaviour and marriage. The good news is, we still have a choice. Every day, every single minute we can choose to do right or to follow the multitudes to do evil. You may lose out on material comforts, but there is immense satisfaction in sticking to your convictions and persevering. Because doing what is right is its own reward.
Your mother must be very wise woman. That was really good way to comfort child. I remember that I used to be very afraid that my parents would divorce, too.ReplyDelete
I wish all women (and men) could have that feeling of security, of solidity of your life, that come from the knowledge that your spouse is there and will be there till death do us part. That's something modern (non-christian) marriages lack, and therefore they are not marriages at all. The whole point of marriage is to be forever, right?
She was raised by my grandmother who was a true (post) Victorian lady as ever was one. They don't make them like this anymore:)ReplyDelete
It's incredibly uplifting to know you can rely on your family to stick with you through thick and thin, unfortunately, in our atomised society it's not a given any more.
Some cultures, like Middle Eastern ones, have always allowed divorce, yet their marriages usually have a solid financial base and in some aspects, remind 19th century bourgeois marriage in Europe, while modern Western marriage conveys few rights and even fewer obligations, has no clearly defined roles and is basically based on a whim of either party.
I don't know why progressives even bother marrying in the first place, since they obviously don't believe in it. Oh, wait; I remember: so they can have a huge expensive party for their friends and family, and be the centre of attention.ReplyDelete
Those of them who are upper middle class usually don't believe their own propaganda as their divorce rates are rather low. It's my opinion that they use this ideology on lower classes to create instability and lessen competition for themselves and their children. Your garden-variety progressives are just useful idiots.ReplyDelete
That makes sense.ReplyDelete