Faces Of Feminism: The Good, The Bad And...The Ugly?

Facebook must be some sort of spyware. I don't even have a Facebook account yet it somehow managed to find me and to push me some sort of short story (in Dutch) which I then got hooked on and ended up reading all of it. And that is what I want to talk about today.

It starts with a woman throwing her partner's teenage son's dirty laundry out of the window and declaring that she is not a cook and not a maid and is not going to take care of him any more. Let his father do it. The boy and his father then stage some sort of protest and keep leaving food and dirty dishes everywhere until she decides to kick them out. 

Women below in the comments applauded (predictably).

The story left me wondering. There are so many details we don't know. First, they are evidently not married since she says something along the lines of deciding to live together with a man, not his son. (This is her first mistake). The story insinuates strongly that both he and his son are freeloaders (the son plays computer games the whole day), yet if the man is such a loser why on Earth did she move together with him? Whose house is it? Presumably hers since in the end she decides to change the locks. But again, something in that particular guy must have attracted her in the first place, didn't it? 

Does she work? Does the guy work? Who is the main breadwinner? Why did the son move with them in the first place? How old is he really?

There are a couple scenarios which come into my mind. Number one, the guy is a total moocher who moves into her house and sponges off her while not contributing financially and refusing to do any housework and then invites his son who is just such another. In this situation, her reaction is understandable but her decision to let him in in the first place is not. In fact, it portrays her as a total idiot (sorry) who finally gets some sense, not a victim of some imaginary patriarchy or whatever the story tried to convey.

Or may be it's an average couple (what passes for family nowadays) where the woman works slightly less hours than the guy and thus does laundry and cooking (and the guy, in fact, asks her since she already did it for him, why would she refuse to do it for his son). Then the son probably quarrels with his mother and decides to move in with the father and his new girlfriend. If we presume that his father provides for him what then is the lady's problem? Her children aren't mentioned at all so she probably has none. 

Why on Earth can't she be more maternal and show some love to a troubled teenage boy (I think the story mentions that he is still at school so he can't be really that old), especially since she is already in love with his father? While women of other cultures pride themselves on being hospitable, caring and maternal, Western women apparently should pride themselves on being total b8tches nothing of the sort.

But then, a decent woman from a traditional culture wouldn't have moved in with a man she wasn't married to. Her family wouldn't have allowed her to...

For My Reader From Texas

Well, it took me some time but I finally did check your links yesterday evening. 

For the record, here they are:

Legion of Men

Pearl Davis

https://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/68-percent-of-americans-consider-the-condition-of-the-economy-to-be-poor-as-millions-of-u-s-consumers-reach-their-breaking-points

Just a couple of thoughts. Concerning the 1st video, I really had no idea that Americans have it so bad. What about your president fixing economy and stuff? Compared to this, we still have more or less decent life over here, even people who live on welfare and can't afford a car. 

As for Pearl, yeah, I'm not a big fan of her but as I'm lazy I won't do any fact checking and just take what she says about divorce at face value. There are two things I'd like to point out. First, despite the American divorce system which she criticises, according to her statistics, Hindus and Muslims somehow manage to have pretty low divorce rates which means that you still can have a normal family even with easy divorce laws. Which really makes it shameful for Christians to divorce so much. Especialy considering that Islam allows divorce and Christianity forbids it.

However, and this is my 2nd point. If you are a Christian, please keep in mind that if you want to have licit s8x and avoid fornication, marriage is your only option. And if you really don't want to marry, it's fine. Just stay single and celibate (or at least try to). Again, our divorce system is different and men do pretty well in it, BTW, the divorce rates started climbing in the 1990s when married women started working en masse. There was even scientific research which proved that the more hours the woman works the higher her chance of divorce. So make your own conclusions.

Your last link is more like the summary of the first video. 

I do appreciate the discussion so feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below:)

Prayer Request

Please pray for a relative of mine who is very sick right now. Please pray that she gets better and can come back home. Thank you:)

This Is Halloween

 

Is Neoliberalism Good For You?

An interesting article (and discussion) by Keith Woods:

 If there’s a lesson from economic history, it’s that ideology is a poor guide. The most enduring systems are those that allow markets to channel ambition and creativity, but draw pragmatic boundaries when they threaten the stability of families, industries, or the nation itself.

 

Let's Talk About S*x!

Well, since some of my readers want to talk about s8x, I'm happy to oblige:) 

Is s8x important in marriage? Apparently, there exists some controversy about this issue. For a valid marriage to take place, traditionally it had to be consummated (i.e. the husband and wife were supposed to have s8x with each other). Even in medieval times, one could get an annulment if the consummation didn't happen.

Before Vatican II the Catholic Church taught married women it was their duty to give s8x to their husbands under the penalty of mortal sin. And in the predominantly Protestant countries such as the USA the husband could get a divorce if his wife refused to fulfill her "marital duties" (mentioned in "Gone With The Wind").

However. S8x was tied to reproduction. Martin Luther thought that practicing contraception is worse than incest and called those who don't want to have children pigs and monsters. The Roman Catholic Church taught (and still does) that using anti-conception was sinful (they kinda allow the natural fertility stuff nowadays, with caveats). And in the 1920 USA when all divorce was based on fault, there was a case of a woman who was granted a divorce because her husband used contraception and thus denied her offspring. 

And if you didn't want to have children, then pity, but no s8x for you. I'm not saying here that it was the correct approach, just giving you some information to think about.

Further on, in the times when the wives were expected to "do their duty" men were expected to do theirs and provide, something many modern young men don't exactly fancy doing. They prefer to hang around, watch Netflix and breastfeed to working hard and supporting their family. Because marriage isn't about duty nowadays, but about something else entirely. Hence all the problems we can see around us. 

There is something else which is interesting. Since Victorian times there is this idea that men have animal nature while women are all pure and angelic and have to submit to their husbands' whims while basically having no pleasure (the famous "lie back and think of England stuff). It didn't use to be like this before and it's not typical outside of the West. For instance, there was this man in India who became famous because he married and fathered children in his 90s. He told to the newspaper that he could do it several times per day and that his wife was very pleased. 

While Victorian morals disappeared long ago, the idea that s8x is a chore and a burden for women somehow still persists. It shouldn't be like this, obviously. But the idea that s8x fixes all marital problems is wrong, too. In fact, I knew women whose husbands divorced them despite s8x being good. Because everything else was bad. In the end of the day, s8x is only one aspect of a healthy marriage so we shouldn't make an idol out of it. 

That's all for today, feel free to leave a comment;)

How To Have A Good Marriage

I remember reading about an old man once who made it well into his hundreds. When asked about his secret, he said: "I never smoked, drank or lied."

So my advice to you is, don't lie to your husband. Don't conceal stuff from him. Don't do things behind his back which you know he disapproves of. Marriage should be based on trust and good communication. Marriage can't be based on lies. Nothing good will ever come out of it. 

It doesn't mean that you have to share all your thoughts with him, though. If you hate his mother, you don't need to tell it to him every single day. Have some discretion;)...

Autumn Decorations

 Autumn vacation is upon us again:)

So here are some nice autumn decorations. I should have done it earlier but there has been so much going on in my life just now that I only found time for it last Saturday. Sorry not sorry;) But seriously, from now on I'll try to give more attention to this blog.

A Musical Interlude