There are still women out there who would agree that mothers of young children belong home. Some would even go so far as to suggest that those kids who go to primary school should have their moms around, too. But a teenager? They can take care of themselves, can't they?
There is a small problem with this line of reasoning. Namely, the fact, that teenagers in general are prone to risk-taking behaviours, as illustrated by the previous article I linked to. Your baby isn't going to get drunk. Your toddler won't do drugs or start an orgy. Your teenager may and sometimes they will.
When you look at the case of the teenage killer, you see a stereotypical 2 income family and a child (yes, teenagers are still children) of 14 spending long hours home alone which gave her the freedom to use drugs without her parents even suspecting anything. Because if you know something about a 2 income family (I do), then you realise that both parents are too tired in the evening to really bother.
In my country the police recently arrested a p8do. He created fake accounts on social media pretending to be a young woman and encouraging underage boys to send him explicit material. Some of these boys were as young as 10. While the crimes against children are horrible, and should be punished severely, I keep wondering, where were the parents of these young boys? Do they take any interest in their kids' activities any more, or do they just give them a smartphone and that's it?
Mom, in the world of today your teenager needs you at home, more than ever!
I agree 100%. If you must, it'd be better to work when they're kindergarten age through age 12, bank that money, and then come home full time than to suddenly rush off to work as soon as they're able to make their own lunch. They're also able to do a lot of other things at that age that they wouldn't if mom was there to watch out for them.
ReplyDeleteAmen. I, too, always ask myself when kids have been molested or bullied at school: "And where were parents?"
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, teenagers need safe communication with their parents. And that takes time. If busy and stressed parent asks aggressively at dinner table (in the happy case family actually eats real food and together) "Well, how was your day? Have you done your homework?", it is more than likely that teenager just murmurs something and shuts down.
Of course people are different, but really many teenagers (and adults), need peace and quiet if they want to share something that burdens their hearts. I have noticed that my family comes to speak to me if I do the ironing or some handywork or some other rather peaceful thing. It is also important that house is tranquil, so tv must not be open all the time (that is, if you possess one), and if you play music, let it be relaxing. World is so fully of noise nowadays.
You have to be present both physically and mentally, if you want people to share their deepest thoughts.
My mother was a working woman, busy and angry all the time. She enjoyed working overtime without extra pay etc. So she never really had time for me when I was a teenager. I actually had rather big problems, I was bullied at school, she doesn't know about it this day. If I tried to tell her I wasn't feeling too well mentally, she just said that "it's your hormones" and that was that.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to God that he has given me different kind of life. So grateful I don't have to be that anfry working wife neglecting her children.
It was already bad enough when I was growing up. I remember there were certain houses with a certain reputation when I was in high school, and guess what? These were exactly those with no adults present during the day, i.e. 2 income households. Bad things happened there, alcohol abuse and worse.And we didn't even have social media back then.
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