I'm Back!

We just came back from our short vacation. We have been to Germany for the Pentecost weekend and despite the weather we still had a great time! Actually, it wasn't that bad, and on Saturday and the first half of Sunday it was even quite warm (at least, +16*C feels really warm after +8*C the day before:). However, all the good things come to an end, and so did this long weekend.

Here are some pictures my husband took:

Some old houses:

A castle on the hill:

Yours truly (for the newcomers, I'm the one with long hair with a white sweater on my shoulders in the left corner:)

 Flowers on a rock:

The view from the mountain:

A rustic corner:

I thought this song would go nicely with the pictures:




I hope you all had a nice weekend!

How To Enjoy Homemaking

A lot of modern housewives seem not to take pride in their occupation. When you ask them what they do they will tell you, "I'm just a housewife," in an apologising tone, as if they are secretly ashamed of themselves. Some women even will go so far as to say that they are searching for a job (though as years go by they still seem not to be able to find it). It's probably not surprising at all, considering the low status which homemaking currently enjoys.

However, while it's easy to point the finger at the state of society which doesn't value the family and traditional marriage as it should, the blame partly lies at our own feet. As housewives we should hold our heads high and be proud of the profession we freely chose. Others will judge all the homemakers by the way we behave and present ourselves. Staying home and managing the household should feel not like drudgery but like a privilege, so I decided to offer some tips on how to enjoy homemaking.

The first thing to do is to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. Stop comparing yourself to career women. Their life may seem glamorous on the outside but you have really no way of knowing how it is on the inside. It may very well be that while you are envious of their freedom from domestic chores and that extra money they are secretly envying you because you get to stay home with your kids all day and don't have to spend your time listening to the office gossip. As for drudgery, it exists in every occupation.

Consequently, you should not spend too much time in company of people who make disparaging remarks about housewives or make you feel inferior in any way for not working outside home. Friends should respect each other, if your friends don't respect the choices you made, you'd probably be better off without them. Avoid negative people in general. A person like this may ruin your whole day. I'm not talking here about someone who just had a bad day, but about a person who consistently makes negative remarks about everything and is never happy.

Be careful in what you watch on the TV and the magazines you read. Unfortunately, modern media seems to take perverted pleasure in attacking the homemaker. One article I read went so far as to say that if you quit your job, you will die from heart attack in a half year time, from boredom. If any MSM personality is by any chance reading this blog, yes, that's the reason I'm not wasting any money on your trashy "ladies" magazines. I'm not subsidising people who hate me.

The same is true about many TV shows. A housewife must really have masochistic tendencies to watch the programs which constantly attack her and tell her how worthless and stupid she is. You'd spend your time much better  watching I Love Lucy or I Dream Of Jeannie or some other show like this where homemakers are respected.

Stop comparing yourself to other women. We are all different and each of us has her own strengths and weaknesses. You may never have such a spotless house as the lady next door, but may be you really can cook much better than her. While the housewife should take care that the house is looking neat and the meals are ready on time, there is still room for personal preferences in housekeeping. May be ironing is not your strong point, but your garden really looks great.

If you have children, teach them to help. You are the Queen of your castle, not a domestic servant and you should not allow your children to treat you as one. Of course, when you delegate certain tasks to the children, their age and abilities should be taken into consideration as well.

The next point to consider is that you are not a robot and need some time to rest. You'll probably accomplish more in one day if you  regularly take tea or coffee breaks. Try to plan your work so that you have some time left in the afternoon for a creative hobby, such as knitting or for reading a book in the garden. Working at home is not the same as working at a factory. You plan your own day and you can afford to slow down and relax sometimes.

It could be so that you feel rather lonely at home. Lots of women choose to work part-time for social contacts. However, it's not necessary to seek regular employment to meet people. You can join a gym or go to a swimming pool, you can become a member of a club, you can organise afternoon tea in your own home, or become friends with mothers at your children's school or with neighbours. The possibilities of meeting other people are endless, and it's all up to you.

The last thing I'd like to talk about today, is money. If you don't have an income, other people may look down at you because you don't contribute. It's typical for our materialistic times that we only value people for material benefits they bring. There are two things to consider, however. First, not everything can be measured in dollars and cents. Creating a cosy home for your family is certainly an achievement, even though you don't see it reflected on your bank balance sheet. Second, a good housewife is also a prudent manager and this will benefit her family materially as well.

Finally I'd like to say that our life is what we make out of it. Some people have a disposition to always be unhappy, in whatever circumstances. Try to look at the bright side instead. There are so many interesting things to learn and to do at home, especially now when we have internet and other modern conveniences. If you are bored at home try studying trigonometry instead of watching Oprah. I bet it will help!

It's Coffee Time...Again!

My husband sent me an email yesterday. It contained the Starbucks coffee and cake recipe book. I got the hint and decided to bake something for coffee today. Since there still was one package of cranberries left in the freezer I decided it was a good opportunity to utilise it with this delicious cranberry cobbler as a result:

The recipe is economical since there are no eggs used. You will need:

1/4c butter, softened
1c sugar
1c flour
2tsp baking powder
1c milk
2c frozen cranberries
3/4c any clear juice

Cream butter and sugar. Combine flour and baking powder, add to butter mixture alternately with milk, stir until moistened and pour into a greased square baking pan. Put cranberries on top and pour juice all over. Bake at 350* F (175*C) for 45 to 50 min, serve warm or cold with whipped cream or ice cream.

The recipe was adjusted from the blackberry cobbler recipe. You can substitute cranberries with any other sort of berries, fresh or frozen. In this case, cut the amount of sugar and milk to 1/2c. The cobbler is easy to make and can be eaten with tea or coffee or served as a dessert.

A 19th Century Glamour Girl

For the last couple of days I haven't been feeling well so that I had no energy for a long post yesterday, but I'd really like to return to the topic and to write more about Sissi, both the film and the historical character.

The Sissi-trilogy was made in the 1950s and it tells us the highly romanticised version of the real events in life of Elisabeth of Bavaria, later Empress Elisabeth of Austria. She is played by Romy Schneider, while Karlheinz Boehm plays Emperor Franz Joseph. There is also a new film about Sissi made in the 2000s which gives a much more detailed and realistic portrayal of her life and is, consequently, less pleasant to watch, as despite all the attempts of the narrators to present Elisabeth as a victim, one can't fail noticing that her character and manner of behaviour were far from perfect.

The old films follow the classic fairy tale pattern, where the girl meets the prince of her dreams and marries him, triumphing over an evil female adversary (a wicked stepmother, which in Sissi-trilogy turns into the wicked mother-in-law), and they live happily ever after (except that they don't). In the end of the last film Sissi overcomes a grave illness and reunites with her husband and her daughter.

Sissi is shown as a free spirit raised by loving parents to live in harmony with nature, while her evil mother-in-law is constantly trying to undermine her, apparently due to her in-born wickedness. In reality, her mother-in-law Princess Sophie was a woman who dedicated her whole life to her family and the Austrian monarchy, whose most important principle in life was doing her duty, in contrast to Elisabeth, who always did whatever the heck she wanted to do at the moment.

As for Sissi's parents, far from being an exemplary couple, at one point in her life her mother tried to get a divorce using the fact that her eldest daughter was engaged to the king, which circumstance made the king break the engagement (though in all probability he wasn't especially keen on this marriage from the very beginning.)

However, nobody is really interested in all those boring facts, and Sissi is remembered as a glamorous and tragic figure from the Victorian age. She was so much obsessed with staying thin that she never dined with her husband as she was following a special diet. The last years of her life they basically lived apart till her tragic death at the age of 61.

In the film, Franz Joseph's mother warns him against marrying Elisabeth, but he refuses to listen, and it is shown as the triumph of love over prejudice, but with years I have come to conclusion that she was probably right. Franz Joseph is one person I have  tremendous sympathy for, especially when one considers how his life was full of tragic events.

One of his daughters died young (partly due to Sissi's stubborness when she insisted on taking the sick child with her on a trip against the doctor's wishes), his son committed suicide (though nowadays there is information that he was probably murdered), his brother was executed in Mexico and his wife from whom he was separated was murdered in Switzerland by an Italian anarchist.

However, all these tragic events are not shown in the 1950s trilogy. It concentrates on the positive things in their life and promotes motherhood and family values, with beautiful costumes, splendid scenery and a happy-end. I would recommend it to anyone, young and old.

Sissi

If you have never seen the Sissi trilogy with Romy Schneider may be you should consider watching it. Though not exactly historically true, it's a really good film. A new, digitally improved version is available on the DVD (the colours are much better than in the clip). The music is by Tchaikovsky, Concerto No.1 for piano and orchestra.

Mother's Day

Mother, Home And Heaven by Mary J. Muekb:

Here are three words that sweetly blend,

That on the heart are graven;
A precious soothing balm they lend
They're Mother, Home and Heaven!

They twine a wreath of beauteous flowers,

Which, placed on memory's urn,
Will e'en the longest, gloomiest hours

To golden sunlight turn!

They form a chain whose every link

Is free from base alloy,
A stream where whosoever drinks

Will find refreshing joy!

They build an altar where each day

Love's offering is renewed;
And peace illumes with genial ray

Life's darkened solitude!

If from our side the first has fled,

And home be but a name,
Let's strive the narrow path to tread,

That we the last may gain!

Quoted from Golden Thoughts On Mother, Home And Heaven.

The Value Of Staying Home

During the last discussion on my blog I got the following comment:

Even for the housewife, there will be times when she is spread quite thinly (babies, moves, illness, etc.), but when she is at home all day, even with many distractions, it really shows. (emphasis mine)
The lady who wrote it expressed a profound truth in one short sentence: the woman's presence in the house is important, even if she can't do much on a particular day (e.g. due to sickness).

There have been so many discussions lately on housewives vs. working women and it nearly always comes down to money, while the other aspect is totally overlooked. The biblical command for women to be keepers at home didn't mean that they never can try and generate some additional income, but it did quite literally mean that home is the place where the married woman is supposed to spend the chief part of her life.

Take, for instance John Calvin's commentary on the meaning of Titus 2: "...That they should also be tarriers at home, that they should be gentle and subject to their husbands. Whereas he saith that they should be tarriers at home: it appeareth to be a virtue that women ought to like well enough of, without any exhorting of them thereunto. For nature showeth it: and even the heathen men could well tell the same, insomuch that they made a great lesson of it in painting, (as a man would do of the shepherds Calendar,) likening a wife to a Tortoise or Snail, which carrieth his shell always with him on his back: even so, wives, ought not to desire to be gadding abroad. For why? If they be disposed to occupy themselves as God commandeth them: surely they shall always find enough to keep them occupied. For though they have never so small a house to look unto: yet shall they find business enough, so they be not willing to be idle. If they have a great household, then must they take the greater pains, if they mind to do their duty as they should do."

(Read the rest of the sermon over here ) It was by no means only his own point of view, but rather the general understanding of the meaning of the verse. Compare it with Matthew Henry:

Chaste, and keepers at home, are well joined too. Dinah, when she went to see the daughters of the land, lost her chastity. Those whose home is their prison, it is to be feared, feel that their chastity is their fetters. Not but there are occasions, and will be, of going abroad; but a gadding temper for merriment and company sake, to the neglect of domestic affairs, or from uneasiness at being in her place, is the opposite evil intended, which is commonly accompanied with, or draws after it, other evils. 1 Tim. v. 13, 14, They learn to be idle, wandering from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. Their business is to guide the house, and they should give no occasion to the enemy to speak reproachfully. (Read the rest here)

John Gill was a famous Bible scholar from the 18th century who also consulted Jewish sources in order to understand the Scriptures better. Here is what he writes on the issue:

Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people's matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto. It is reckoned among the properties of women, by the Jews, that they are twynauwy, "gadders abroad" {x}: they have some rules about women's keeping at home; they say {y}, "a woman may go to her father's house to visit him, and to the house of mourning, and to the house of feasting, to return a kindness to her friends, or to her near relations—but it is a reproach to a woman to go out daily; now she is without, now she is in the streets; and a husband ought to restrain his wife from it, and not suffer her to go abroad but about once a month, or twice a month, upon necessity; for there is nothing more beautiful for a woman, than to abide in the corner of her house; for so it is written, Psalm 45:13 "the king's daughter is all glorious within.""

And this they say {z} is what is meant by the woman's being an helpmeet for man, that while he is abroad about his business, she is tybb tbvwy, "sitting at home," and keeping his house; and this they observe is the glory and honour of the woman. The passage in Isaiah 44:13 concerning an image being made "after the figure of a man, according to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house" is by the Targum thus paraphrased: "according to the likeness of a man, according to the praise of a woman, to abide in the house."

Upon which Kimchi, has this note: "it is the glory of a woman to continue at home, and not go abroad." The tortoise, which carries its house upon its back, and very rarely shows its head, or looks out of it, was, with the ancients, an emblem of a good housewife.

(Read the entire chapter over here)

Somewhere I read a Catholic sermon on keepers at home which basically stated the same thing, but I lack time to search for it now.

While cleaning the house, shopping, meal preparation and other housekeeping tasks are certainly very important, the mere presence of the wife and mother at home greatly attributes to her family comfort. People who disagree with the traditional roles for women, often use the argument that with modern equipment housework can be done quickly and that's why when children reach school age mothers should go back to work (for women with grown children and childless homemakers there are apparently no excuses to stay home at all).

Those who say it don't understand that homemaking is more than just doing the laundry, which can be done by anyone, even by a hired help. Cheryl Mendelson explains it best in her Home Comforts, the modern housekeeping Bible:

"...what a traditional woman did that made her home warm and alive was not dusting and laundry. Someone can be hired to do those things...Her real secret was that she identified herself with her home...her affection was in the soft sofa cushions, clean linens and good meals; her memory in well stocked storeroom cabinets and the pantry; her intelligence in the order and healthfulness of her home, her good humor in its light and air. She lived her life not only through her own body but through the house as an extension of her body; part of her relation to those she loved was embodied in the physical medium of the home she made." (p.9-10, Scribner 2005).

Homemaking is not just an an occupation, it's a lifestyle. You can't identify yourself with your home when you spend the larger part of the day out of it. Have you never noticed how strange it feels when you return to an empty house after the day off with your family? There was nobody to keep the fire burning because everybody went away and you notice it when you come back. That's the traditional woman's role, to keep the home fires burning. That's why there is value in staying home in whatever situation, even if you have the live-in butler and maid, because homemaking is not only about scrubbing and cleaning. And if your children live on their own, or you have none, you still have your husband to create home for.

Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home, and it's up to the wife to create it.