I've been doing some research online on an unrelated topic and came across an Islamic Q&A site which explained the obligations of spouses. The husband, it said, owes his wife financial support as long as she makes herself available to him.
Now imagine a Evangelical preacher saying something similar?
And yet, pre-Vatican II Catholic priests used to teach married women that denying your husband s8x was a mortal sin. Conservative Orthodox churches still teach essentially the same. Denying your spouse their "marital rights" used to be grounds for divorce.
By traditional definition, marriage only becomes valid after being consummated (i.e. having s8x). Marriage ceases to exist when one spouse persistently denies the other without valid medical reason. Modern Evangelicals will always stress how it's always the husband's fault if he commits the sins of lust, even when his wife kicked him out of marital bed 5 years ago.
Let's be honest over here, does it sound reasonable to you? According to the Bible, one of the reasons for marriage is to avoid fornication by having legitimate relations with your spouse. If that spouse refuses to cooperate in this area, he or she is definitely responsible to some degree for the other spouse straying.
Of course, there are seasons in marriage. Pregnancy and breastfeeding, illness, death etc. But outside of this, what is your excuse? Personally I blame Victorians. They concocted this ridiculous idea that women were all sugar and spice and everything nice and angels in the house raised above the beastly passions of their husbands. They had to "tolerate it all for the joys of motherhood", "lie back and think of England" and other ridiculous nonsense. Somehow modern churches decided that Victorianism is the way to go, apparently.
Here is the thing: women are very much s8xual beings, just like men. Marriage is very much about s8x. Plus it's good for women's health, too. Please keep in mind that for a Christian, the only way to have legitimate s8x without sinning, is with one's spouse. If you aren't married, get married. And if you are, then what else do you need? Have fun together, you both deserve it!
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