Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Make Him Number One, Part 3

Helen Andelin stresses that the best opportunity to show to a man that he is number one for his wife is when he comes home. Returning home from work should be a pleasant time for your husband. She suggests that all the housework should be done or at least out of the way as much as possible, including such things as craft projects. The wife should look attractive and greet her husband with a smile, and the children should wait until later before they bother him with their problems.

According to Helen: "Such a greeting will make an amazing difference in his life, in reducing strain and bringing peace and rest." (Fascinating Womanhood, Bantam Books 1992, p.96).

Next Mrs Andelin discusses whether the man must make his wife number one. I touched upon this subject in one of my movie reviews, so bear with me repeating myself:) According to FW principles, "it's not always possible or even right for a man to make his wife number one in his life" (idem). The reason for this is that a man's first duty is to provide a living, which means that he often must spend a lot of time away from home and family. Such men nowadays are criticised for being "workaholics", but as Helen points out, "In reality, he is putting you first. He is working for you and your children." (idem).

Men have also another important role to play, that of building a society, "of making the world a better place." (idem). The man fulfilling his duty to society needs a supportive wife who understands his responsibilities, such as Mrs. Dwight D. Eisenhower, who accepted the fact that her husband's first duty was to his country and not his family.

When the wife fails to make her husband number one it creates a rift in the marriage (I witnessed it at first hand) and may drive the husband into the arms of another woman. I can't stress how important it is for the wife to give enough attention to her husband, at least if she doesn't want their marriage to end in divorce court. As Helen rightly observes, "...your husband will feel a deficiency" (idem). If he is a liberal and lives in a state of cognitive dissonance he will not object to you pursuing your own career and hobbies at his expense, but "something inside which was always denied for so many years" may cause him to just pack up his things and go with a vague explanation of "falling out of love".

Mrs Andelin illustrates this point further with real life examples of the ladies who nearly ruined their marriages by neglecting their husbands. Luckily for them, they were given a second chance, but these situations don't always have a happy end, that's why it's important to keep it in mind:

Always make your husband number one!