in women.
DISCLAIMER:
1. trigger warning
2. Don't shoot the messenger:)
Reading newspapers in the current year isn't particularly good for one's blood pressure but sometimes I get this burning desire to know what's going on in our small kingdom. So last week I stumbled upon an internet discussion where our guys were enumerating all the things wrong with our gals. Some were bordering on indecent so being a person of breeding I'll omit them, but it can be summed up thusly:
Dressed like men. Never wear dresses. No sense of style.
Short hair.
"Sensible" ugly shoes
Curses like a sailor
"I don't need no man" attitude
Drinks beer from the bottle
Tattoos, promiscuity
More interested in career than in family until 35. Then starts searching for a husband but has a long list of unreasonable demands with nothing of value to offer
Won't cook, clean or do any housekeeping
"Mannish clothes" was absolutely complaint number one and "short hair" came close second.
In the interests of justice I'll add that as some lady pointed out, while women aren't particularly feminine nowadays, men aren't very masculine, either. And they dress horribly, too.
What do you think?
Yes, I think this is in total agreement with the go-to book for women wanting to get serious about marriage: Fascinating Womanhood
ReplyDeleteSharon, I have been thinking about FW myself!
ReplyDeleteI read something about feminine women and men of manosphere. The conclusion is alpha men want alpha women which doesn't mean masculinized women but real feminine women. Beta men are not necessarily feminized but rather don't have the charactetistics of a good leader, provider, psycological support for the woman as a weaker vessel, strength, initiative and making things function properly to the family's benefit. Alpha women in my opinion should find their feminine identity and assume the different share they have in a marriage. It is not a beta characteristic for a woman if she cannot boss other people or if she naturally prefers submitting rather instead of managing and leading situations that don't reach her activity realm or business. I really think women are not made for leading society matters, business negociations, church problems, clergy service, job descriptions of others etc. This is something imposed on women and they are now trying to man up, in order to get involved into tough things that belong to men. Fighting for masculine rights is not only tiresome but also ridiculous and senseless.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with the last paragraph. If only we could all embrace dressing better.
ReplyDeleteThe stupid Millennial young men wearing baggy jeans, with bad haircuts, embracing leftist and feminist politics, are not manly.
ReplyDeleteBut the rest still are, mostly. ;)
Here it's the older people of both sexes who often dress the worst. The younger generation, especially girls, are making efforts.
ReplyDeletePreoteasa Alexandra, you wrote so well! Thank you so much for that. You really saved my day. :)
ReplyDeleteI mean I just saw a picture of our female friend. She was there with a chainsaw, and I know she can use it. I felt so bad about myself, since I am quite afraid of noisy machines. I have always been very ashamed of that. But now I realize that it is part of my softer and more feminine side. My hubby is very good with chainsaw, so there is no need for me to use it. :) (Now there is nothing wrong with a woman using chainsaw. I am just saying that I do not need to, and I do not need to feel bad about it.)
My hubby actually dresses very well. That is one of the reasons I struggle so much with my own appearances. We do not quite match. :)
Housewife, the good news is you don't have to feel bad about yourself! Being good with a chainsaw won't make you more popular among the male sex as female proficiency with masculine tools was one of the complaints in the original article, too. It can come in handy when you have no bloke of your own, but if you do such skills better be hidden:)
ReplyDeleteHousewife, thanks for your kind words. I am very glad to find out so many people are valuable in their thoughts and they find courage to speak up their mind. I sometimes feel insecure too because others think differently than I do. But I have learned to accept myself and give me the time I need. For example I hate driving in town. I am a good driver but I have a fixed opinion that hubby should do that because it makes me feel exhausted and I don't always remember the right way. I deliberately avoid making errands in town without husband because I feel so. I know I shouldn't because it is good to have a license and drive kids to school etc but I just feel more like a lady if I sit on the right of my husband. Nobody understands me but my husband does. He feels a strong man because I need him to drive for me.
ReplyDeleteI know many husbands who won't allow their wives to drive on the highway when they are going on vacation:)
ReplyDeleteMy husband asked me to drive on long trips with normal roads but I am used to not driving and I like it this way. I sometimes feel guilty for being lazy in the car but I remained with an image about the traditional lady of old times when women weren't expected to drive cars. They were assisted even when they stepped out of the means of transport. My parents wanted me to drive and be independent but I prefer being dependent. Nobody has to feel like I do. It is a personal feeling. If needed of course I'll have to drive on our bad road with wholes but my husband does a perfect job and I admire him for keeping our car in good condition on such awful off-road. I can drive on nice European roads only. This means I can't drive actually. :)
ReplyDeleteDriving on the autobahn can be dangerous because people are speeding up. That's why many men prefer they drive themselves.
ReplyDeleteWe have few autobahnen. European roads are the most frequent roads to drive during a long journey. And our way towards the city is dangerous indeed. Women in our village drive if they are the only driver in the house. Few wives drive themselves here in my country if husband available. Because a car is very hard to pay and men want to make sure everything is ok. But generally, husbands use to drive the family and the wife drives only if husband has been fined for speed limit reasons. Women tend to be more precaucious with speed but men are more resistant and stronger when it comes to fatigue and stress. I don't resist long driving due to sight problems too.
ReplyDeleteI used to feel so guilty, because my husband has to drive always. I have a driver's licence, but I have hardly touched the steering wheel after I got it. Driving was always so difficult for me because of my neurological issues, and I felt so bad that I did not do my share. Even though my hubby kept telling me that he does not mind driving. My mother and sister both like driving, and they are really reckless drivers, speeding and such. So I felt like a complete failure.
ReplyDeleteI do not feel bad anymore; I have finally realized that I do not need to be able to do EVERYTHING. I was so brainwashed that I thougt I have to master any masculine skill there is.
I am so lucky I found my husband who has always encouraged me to show my "weaknesses". And that I found christian blogs, and started to realize that I do not need to become a man to be enough, if you get my point.
Alexandra, here the guys will go to a party, get drunk and let the wives drive them home:)
ReplyDeleteHousewife, sorry about your health issues! No, we don't need to become men in order for men to fall in love with us. I never do any home renovations, for instance. Never felt guilty about that, either.
Housewife from Finland, years ago I used to feel guilty for not cleaning the goats' stable because it was I who wanted goats actually but my husband stayed cool and decided either to pay some help or do it himself. It is heavy work and I just felt too weak for that on a regular basis. Nobody reproached me anything and things are ok. Watering the garden and keeping the veggies is something I share too but husband takes on the heavy things I just help. Heavy agriculture is none of my business, food for the animals and other stuff provided, wood stored for the winter etc. I know other women have to do a lot more than I do, being on their own but I try to just thank God and my husband for everything.
ReplyDelete