Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Should You Send Your Daughter To College?

I'd like to draw your attention to this article. The author, a Catholic gentleman, gives eight (originally six) reasons not to send your daughter to college. The article received a lot of venomous comments from the group of people who normally preach tolerance day and night (until you dare disagree with some of their ideas). There were few attempts to refute his arguments point by point, instead, he got a lot of emotionally charged attacks and name-calling.

I don't necessarily agree with his reasoning and I don't regret getting an education, but I thought that he raised some interesting points in his article, which deserve a closer look. Take for instance, this statement:

But the penalty for the woman as a result of the fall was pain in childbirth (which requires having babies), not to work.  Sending our wives out to work should be a very last resort, a misfortune, so it shouldn’t be part of a plan for young ladies before they even get a start at family life.  Keeping a home, being a loving wife, and being a nurturing mother are of immeasurable dignity to a woman and not something to be farmed out to servants.  The feminist world has twisted this so that a job (career) appears elevated, and homemaking is denigrated.  This is the evil work of Satan and devastating to families.

Those who advocate for married women to stay home are often asked who is going to be school teachers and nurses. Those types of jobs in Catholic countries were traditionally done by nuns, as the author of the article points out:

God has always given women abilities to bring value and service to their neighbor, which is what people with jobs do.  But to distinguish, as Catholics anyway, it was rarely that a wife and mother did this until the last couple of generations, and look at the impact on family life.  Before, it was nuns who did these things buildings convents, hospitals, schools, etc etc

 In Protestant cultures we had female schoolteachers who were single ladies. They usually quitted working when they married. The same was true about nursing, however, before the 20th century, nursing was often done by women at home, as described in such books as "The Little House On The Prairie" series. In one of the books, the Ingalls family get malaria and the neighbour lady comes and stays with them during the period of their sickness and later returns home. Nowadays, there is also a possibility to homeschool your children in many countries, which allows women to use their talents at home:

 Generally women will marry and have children so are gifted by God with the natural abilities to nurture (feed and raise) as well as educate children.  Today’s society has a very accessible conduit for that ability that is very conducive to family life:  homeschooling.  Educating and caring for children is the most valuable calling of a married woman and requires accomplished abilities.

The author, Mr Alleman then proceeds to state his reasons for not sending your daughter to college. There are two of them I want to comment about. His number one reason is that a lady with a degree will often attract a male golddigger:

I share the common concern addressed to us, again mainly by angry women, that there are so many lazy men in our society.  But what mystifies me is why girls continue to marry them and then live to complain about them, along with their parents.  So what normally happens with this setup is that those lazy men who are looking for a mother-figure in a wife are very attracted to this responsible, organized, smart woman who has it all together along with a steady paying job with benefits.  So if he wants to go to work he can, but if not he can always fall back on her income.  Or if he “doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone” he can start his own business, and it doesn’t matter if it fails or succeeds or makes enough income because again she’s there to help. The bottom line, HE is only supplementing HER income, but he’s supposed to be the provider.  

Again, I don't necessarily agree with his reasoning about college (my husband, for instance, thinks that girls should go to college and learn some professional skills), but I think that Mr Alleman is certainly right while warning women about a type of man NOT to marry. He is also right about the fact that the husband is supposed to be the family provider and not expect his wife to pay the bills. 

Probably the most important reason of all is his number 3, the girls are not taught to become wives and mothers. Here is what Mr Alleman says:

Often when a career woman discerns the possibility of giving up her career, she faces the reality that she has had no training in homemaking and often has the thought “What would I do at home all day.”  

That is certainly a problem for many women who are accustomed to spend their life in various institutions. However, the good news is that there is plenty to do at home, and that homemaking is something every lady can learn. Mr Alleman admits that homemakers contribute something very valuable to society:

 Stay-at-home mothers are actually very busy industrious women and do absolutely beautiful marvelous things.  Surely the business world severely undervalues those things they do, but the value to a family is beyond monetary compensation. (emphasis mine).

Take a look at the last sentence. I think it expresses the essence of homemaking. A homemaker chooses to serve her family, not because of monetary reward, but because she wants to do what is the best for them and to fulfill her God-given role.  

Instead of sending your daughter to college, you can better send her to Lichtenstein. According to this 
brochure, it has a median monthly wage of 6 257 CHF and 42.9% of population which is single. Sounds like an ideal country to search for a husband!:)

 Seriously though, the education of children, both boys and girls is a serious matter and something which should be discussed by the parents before the decision is taken. Articles like the one above are useful because they provide the opposite point of view to the default modern position of everyone going to college and create an opportunity for discussion, which is always good, provided there are actual arguments used instead of insults and emotional abuse. 

And I like how the guy defends housewives. Ladies, it's time we started to be proud about what we are doing. 


  1. I like how he defends housewives! I went to college in something useless but it got me a part time job of teaching voice last year. My sister on the other hand got a masters degree and is now working for the government. My other sister also went to college in something useless and is now working minimum wage jobs. They are both single.

    My husband went to college but he never really needed the degree for what he does.

    I think more should be done to encourage daughters who want to be housewives, but the feminists have not encouraged that...

  2. I'm actually of two minds about this article. On the one hand, what he is saying is right, in a sane society most girls would be naturally oriented towards marrying and starting a family. On the other hand, we are not living in a sane society...

    I'm not trying to give advice to anyone, but in my personal opinion, while deciding on the education for one's daughter one should take into consideration several factors, such as how many other children are there in the family, are they boys or girls, the inclinations of each child, the financial costs of a degree vs the benefits of it, jobs availability etc etc.

    I do notice that many girls are getting degrees in social studies which are often pretty useless and leave them without any employment prospects, but cost a lot of money. Some parents encourage their daughters to study to keep them off the streets...

  3. Someone sent me an email in response to my post, with this wonderful link:

    Here is an extract: "I am rich. My time is my own to plan as I wish, to budget so there are moments for reading and writing. There is no more being just a little cog in a big wheel as I was before I married."

    Housewives are not always rich according to the modern standards of wealth, but they are rich in other things. Not everything can be measured in money.