Yes, they absolutely do.
Feminists like to decry domestic abuse and even have the cheek to accuse "the church"/"Christians" for facilitating it by promoting wifely submission and one income family where the wife is a dependent. Does abuse happen in the church? It sure does. But it happens outside the church as well, just as often.
And, you know what? We don't practice arranged marriages in the West today. Fathers aren't allowed to sell their daughters as concubines like in OT or Roman Empire. All these abused women choose their own partners. Often they aren't even married to these men, but choose to stay with them, despite their parents' protests.
I'll give you a couple of examples from what I witnessed myself.
Case 1. A girl (18-19) was in love with a man and was stalking him continuously (yes, women do this, too). The guy tried to get rid of her many times and finally beat her up so badly that she ended up in hospital, but expressly asked all her friends to conceal it from her parents cause they would put the man in question in prison.
Case 2. A girl from a "good family" had a relationship with a guy who was a violent alcoholic, and repeatedly beat her up, despite her parents doing everything to separate them. Terminated several pregnancies as he refused to marry. In the end, she left him after another beating and after she got older and acquired some common sense.
Case 3. a girl married a violent cheating alcoholic and stayed with him until he finally beat up herself and her Granny who tried to help her. Refused to go to police.
Case 4. A woman was married to a violent adulterous alcoholic all her life. Refused to leave him even though she worked full time and had an income of her own. Her only son took after the father, started substance abuse and died from an overdose, but she still wouldn't divorce her husband. In the end he tired of her and divorced her himself.
None of these women were practicing Christians, btw.
It happens much more often than you think. Victorians lied to you. Women, especially young women aren't "sugar and spice and everything nice". They aren't shrinking violets. They have a s8x drive, which is often quite strong, and they crave dominant, aggressive guys. Sometimes even violent guys. As they grow older they often mellow out and drop out of the relationship. If they had the misfortune to get married (nearly always against the will of their parents) they turn into those proverbial bitter divorcees who will tell you that "all men are pigs" forgetting that she chose that pig herself in the 1st place. Many women appear to have difficulty with accepting responsibility for their actions.
A very uncomfortable truth is that humans are turned on by blood and violence. Execution videos on YouTube get hundreds of thousand of clicks. And when executions still happened in public, they say that women sometimes were the majority of those who came to watch. In ancient Rome women, even those of the upper class lusted after gladiators and sometimes even left their high status husband for them. During WWII men would try to knock up a girl before leaving to fight, so that if they died, they'd leave a child behind.
The close proximity of violent death appears to arouse both men and women. Conservatives often admit it in the case of men, but pretend that women are different. The truth is that both s8xes are tainted by sin, including s8xual desire.The good news is that we aren't slaves to our bodies and can teach our children to not react on their lowest impulses and to flee temptations. Mind should rule over flesh and not vice versa.
And yet I was told at 19 how immature I am at that age but somehow women get a pass on their inherent stupidity. I wish could slap any woman over the age of 23 who ever spouted 'women are more mature.' If that were true, we would not have a welfare state and nanny laws on guns and cars.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'd say at the age of 19 both men and women are pretty immature;) The hormone level is very high and the common sense is very low. They still need a lot of guidance at this age, which modern parents often fail to provide. Here the age of consent is 16 and I heard mothers say that when their daughters reach this age it's OK ''to experiment" which often means bedding various losers. I mean what kind of advice is this? I can't even...
ReplyDeleteBut who created these problems? All they wanted to do with me and others was send me to church which to do this day I really don't really care about and is waste of my personal time.
DeleteHighschool here in the states was a waste for millions of us in the past. Some are wising up with technical training programs where someone can now be employable in some basic medical or welding or IT and be employable after graduating high school. I wish I could have had an associates in something and shave a year off college instead of a worthless National Honor Society pin.
Well, it's complicated:) Imho, the answer is first, politicians who changed the laws after WWII, and second, the society as a whole which accepted it. This includes many Christians who apparently think following God's commandments is optional.
ReplyDeleteGood post. I think it is ridiculous in moden west how woman is always seen as victim. And if you point out she chose her terrible spouse herself, against advice she was given by her parents and friends -well, that is victim shaming! Apparently we are supposed to have all the freedom imaginable, and absolutely no responsibility.
ReplyDeleteAnd even when I was young adult at late 90's, nobody tried to protect young women from our own stupidity: quite the contrary. My older sister and older friends encouraged me to drink and "just get rid of it (virginity) with some random guy". (I did end up drinking quite heavily at one point, because I felt compelled to go clubbing like everone else, and it was the only way I managed to stay awake that late. :))
When christianity was still dominant in our societies, older ladies used to encouraged younger ladies to be modest and decent and chaste. As was their biblical duty. Young ladies, of course, hated it, but in the end realized it was all good. But after feminism and the Pill, they somehow started to encourage you to Sin.
Now of course it is possible to end up with abusive man, even if you keep your knees together. But it is less likely, if you try to keep your brain with you in the choosing prosess, and don't choose with your genitals. Pardon me for being rude.
About sex and violence: I actually used to like action movies when I was younger. It IS arousing. I stopped watching them when I realized what that exitement was all about and it isn't any better than watching actual pornography. Well, maybe it is slightly better.
ReplyDeleteBlanka, I could always determine ovulation time because around it I felt like watching stuff about war and violence;) It does become better as you grow older...or worse, lol, because it does mean you are getting older...
ReplyDeleteMany women are on the pill though and it screws their hormones so may be they really don't experience it this way, I don't know. Never took this stuff.