Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Death By Nagging

Sometimes I ask myself: "why didn't I sterilise her?" (One consolation is that's going to happen soon, very soon now. ) The kittens have now reached the stage of potty training and the mother has reached the state of "why can't you all leave me alone finally?" (isn't it just typical for many modern mothers), there is a constant stream of visitors and my husband has to work overtime.

Enfin, I've scaled down my other commitments and try to look at the bright side, but what it means for the blog is less effort-posting, so I'd like to draw your attention to this interesting post by Aaron Clarey (warning: language):

Skinny Wives Save Lives

This nagging I argue is killing men earlier than normal.  The "crisis of men" where men commit more suicide, the mortality rate of men is going up, and more "depressed deaths" being logged among men is caused, disproportionately by adversarial women.  And while yes, statistics would show opioids, alcohol, liver disease, and the like are the cause of this, the cause of that would be the toxification of the one thing that gave men point and purpose to live - women - driving men to drink and killing their will to live in the process.  You may make the argument it isn't provable, but nagging, being confrontational, and competing against your husband certainly does not extend his life.

Be sure to read the whole thing! Makes one stop and think, doesn't it?:)


  1. I agree that nagging is a terrible habit for women to engage in and that it beats a man down if he allows it to flourish unchecked.

    I agree that wives need to do all we can to stay healthy and in shape.

    But given the number of skinny, nagging wives I've seen over the years, I'm having trouble with Mr. Clarey's final conclusions, LOL.

  2. Yes, this is a good read...An important read, to get us closer to what we are supposed to be.

    All of us are guilty of nagging, especially the 'I was trying to help' one. One might thought that she is being helpful, but to him this is argument fuel. We have done this to men who are not husbands as well, and you could see the annoyance in their faces, only for them to wish for silence and solitude instead.

    I have made this mistake with a person once (the situation ended with, "But thanks for trying to help though," with a slight squint in his eyes and a slow head turn away), and I thought I was being helpful, but only to realize that it didn't click on me until well after he left the bus on his stop--About three people were trying to help a woman find directions to a place that sells big jeans that happens to have the same name as a discount store, and I was ultimately the confused one. I vowed to not help others from that point on verbally, unless they specifically talk to me. I felt bad because it means I was another reason for complaint about women (or even disdain)--Just another female that person might not think fondly of (or maybe that person forgot about the situation, but the sting remains). That article made me think of that very moment, and it made me realize that I was not only nagging, but also I was being annoying. I was a small nuisance unfortunately.

    I must apply to my mind that nagging is an argument without the raised voices and screaming. This might also be the reason why, in the past, we are to be quiet (unless we are spoken to) and men to not take our word, even if we think we are being rational and wise.

    Almost ten years ago, I have made it my lifetime endeavor to be a better woman and a lady to prove that women are still capable of being good in a post-feminist world. After all these years learning from the manosphere and (recently) sites such as this, I still have some learning to do.

  3. Elspeth, I agree that nagging doesn't only come from overweight ladies. Unfortunately, nagging appears to be just an inborn female trait. They say every woman is a mother and mothers will incessantly tell you to brush your teeth and put away your stuff and so on and so forth:)

    Luna, I remember years ago watching a video where a man made the same point. He was talking about a high-ranking military official (a friend of his) who had charge over many men but when he came home his wife called him an idiot. Apparently nagging and scolding can make one's blood sugar rise and blood pressure, too, and it's quite dangerous after a certain age.

  4. I think nagging is mental abuse. It really is. I don't if it worse than "silent treatment", but it is awful. Nagging people have absolutely no empathy, they cannot imagine how other people feel things. Otherwise they wold not nag. Also, they have no reason: if they had, they would remember how little their mothers nagging helped...

    BTW I have noticed ladies who do not nag have the best behaving children.

    I think I must agree with Cptn. with women's appearances, too. Really many women look horrible these days, apparently on purpose. I mean I am slightly overweight myself, and yet it seems half of the women I meet are twice as big as I am. They also like to highlight that unpleasant fact with cutting their hair and dying it with colours most unnatural. AND wearing skinny jeans even if their rear end is the size of Hundred Acre Wood. Hideous.

    It is also nice that Cptn. admits men do everything for women. It is refressing witn modern MRM-men claiming they do not really need women.

    1. They have the best behaving children, because the children mimic parents' behavior. Parents are supposed to be the children's role models. If parents show love and kindness, then the children will see it and learn from it--leading up to adulthood. They would eventually become adults who are easier and better to marry too.

      I do wish that we looked and acted better these days. We have bland, athletic, and homely-looking clothes passed as 'women's fashion', lack of manners and protocol, too casual of an environment where there is no gravitas/solemness, and few to no female role models to aspire to (at this point we may as well be our own role models). It makes one want to give up on presentation and appearance, doesn't it?

      Just being nice/polite is considered weak/annoying, and wearing a sundress is too formal these days.

  5. Housewife, I just published a link to an experiment which proves how dangerous scolding/nagging is. I agree it's a form of abuse, in fact in the times past scolds and gossips were often punished by ducking, wearing a scold's bridle etc. Scolding and nagging was justly seen as a form of violence, albeit verbal one (and a uniquely female crime at that). I once read a poem about it, which portrayed a woman being plunged into the water until she promises to never scold again, but couldn't find it.

    As for appearance, I just don't get it why people don't take health issues which come with being overweight seriously. I guess planning and cooking healthy meals takes too much time and effort and many folks just can't fit it into their busy 2 income lifestyles. It's sad, really.

  6. Women must remember they aren't the bosses of their men.

    Scripture in fact teaches the opposite.

    Act accordingly, and all will be well. (Assuming you've chosen your husband wisely.)

    1. Agreed.

      Men are the leaders and the prize. If we put women as the prize, then it's gynocentrism, and that kind of society/civilization decays and then collapses. Only patriarchal societies tend to thrive in the long-run compared to egalitarian or matriarchal societies.

      Women are supposed to be more like assistants, nurses, or secretaries--women are helpmeets/helpmates/helpers of men. Even biological urges and duties align (that is why most women are not CEOs or in STEM industries and would prefer to serve people and children instead).

  7. From a pragmatic point of view, I would say there are ways to influence your husband in a positive way, but nagging isn't one of them:)

  8. I think men (and children) are like dogs. :) It is very easy to strengthen the behaviour you want them to conduct by rewarding them for it.

    And, of course, for men keeping your wife home is perfect way to prevent nagging: if there is, say, dirty laundry on the floor, it is obvious it is her fault. ;) I have understood housework is the thing women mostly nag about, but if it is all her job...

  9. I just don't really get it how the couples where both are employed close to full time manage to do their housework. They must spend evenings and weekends doing little else or just living in a permanent mess. And I suspect the first thing which suffers is quality time between the spouses and good nutrition.