A Word Of Warning

Usually I'm the one who supports the principle of "never punching right", that is, not  criticising openly any fellow traditionalist who may be slightly to the right of me on some issues. I just choose to ignore certain things they say. So in this post I'm not going to criticise any particular internet personality or a blog or a YouTube channel, but I do want to discuss certain confusing (and sometimes disturbing) trends.

Imagine you are a young woman in your late twenties/early thirties, living somewhere in Europe (as some of my readers probably are). You have spent nearly all your conscious life starting with the age of 3 or 4 either at school or working. Now you are married and have a child. Your husband, a nice guy, suggests you take a couple of years from work, or may be, you have an extended maternity leave. You realise you actually like to stay home. You remember how until the 1970s or even later in some countries (like mine where it was till the 1990s) most married women and mothers used to stay home and "just be housewives".

Since you have just made a discovery, you are understandably enthusiastic about it, but soon realise that nobody (except your husband) appears to share your enthusiasm for homemaking and child-rearing. Your girl-friends find their small children a bother and can't wait till they go to school. Older women at the church tell you how their daughters all have great careers. Your mother-in-law, who never worked a day in her life since she got married right after quitting housekeeping school at 16, calls you lazy, unlike her own daughters. And even your own parents resent the fact that you are wasting your education they had to pay so much for. So, what's a girl to do?

You turn to the internet, where as we know, most traffic is in English, and type in "traditional housewife".  After stumbling across a couple of disparaging articles about how housewives betray the economy and are bad for GDP (which causes multinationals to lose 1% of their profit so that they will have to push more unlimited immigration to compensate) you find you first "traditionalist" blog. Wow, they actually say that it's God's will for (married) women and mothers to stay home! Finally, you can stop being ashamed of yourself and even start looking down at those among your family and friends who mock and belittle you. They are in the wrong, and you can be proud of yourself!

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. Once you get hooked, because you finally get the validation you were missing all the time, you will keep returning to this type of blogs/vlogs/facebook/whatever and imbibe more of their teachings which aren't all equally savoury. You may, for instance, learn that it's wrong to use any form of birth control, even the NFP (approved by the Pope!) since God desires you to have an unlimited number of children. If you develop a health problem from countless pregnancies which can be life-threatening, you just have to accept it. It's probably just God's Will for you to die anyway. And if your husband refuses to have more kids because he can't provide any more, he's a sinner and you should deny him sex till he repents.

Alternatively, your husband is God and can do no wrong. If he wishes for you to work full time and himself stays home and shoots heroine the whole day, you should "cheerfully submit." The children should all always be homeschooled no matter what because all government schools are satanic (and socialist). In some Euro countries you aren't even allowed to homeschool, so I guess all little Germans are destined to Hell anyway.

Then come Proverbs 31 guilt trips (I covered this topic extensively on my blog so not going into detail here), conspiracy theories, bizarre modesty standards like floor length skirts and general distaste for any sort of entertainment, no matter how innocent. You can't drink a glass of wine with your husband. You aren't allowed to take your kids to the beach in summer (there can be topless women over there and your boys will see them, o horror!). You can't visit a girl-friend, that would be gadding around. You can't go to a gym because your fitness program is wicked (and satanic) etc etc.

I should add that it's not all Christians writing this sort of thing, of course, but in general those who aren't content with the way Western society is going these days. I'm not content with it, either, but still don't think we all should be quitting and going to live "innawoods" like hermits. That is to say, you are free to do it if you wish to, but don't tell me that's the only way because it isn't.

So after reading all this advice the poor lady more often than not gets extremely confused and either runs away from computer screaming and goes right back to work, or sometimes, tries sincerely to follow it, often with disastrous results. The truth is, outside of feminism and fundamentalism, there is also the third way, the way things used to be until recently.

The husband was the head of the family (and the law acknowledged it), but he wasn't a domestic tyrant and had duties, too, like providing for his family instead of playing vidya games the whole day long. The wife was supposed to be demure but also follow fashion trends to some degree. Families were often bigger but most people did something to space the children and would stop after a certain number (which was usually bigger than 2). Children went to school, but the schools were wholesome and taught kindergarteners 3 R's and good manners instead of propaganda. The wife kept the house but also went out to visit friends and had time to pursue hobbies and read books. Instead of shutting themselves off from the world, the families were all interconnected and lived in organic communities and spent much more time with each other than we usually do now.

Mind you, I'm not saying that it's wrong to homeschool or  wear long skirts or have any sort of standards, quite the contrary. But not everything you read on the net may be applicable to your country, culture and situation. Sometimes entertainment or sports is just that, not a part of a satanic NWO conspiracy plot. And you don't have to go live "innawoods", either. In other words, you can still be a housewife and live a normal, average life. May be, boring at times, but in general, quite satisfying:)