Sunday, April 8, 2018

The Problem Of Loneliness

So the Western governments are now talking about the loneliness problem. Before recent city council elections, various parties in my city came with suggestions on how to fight it. One of the brilliant ideas was to ensure that every elderly person gets a regular visit from a social worker. Which, of course, means that they can hire more social workers, who are all women.

Thus, we get a following situation: while the old folks' own daughters and granddaughters work, someone else's daughters and granddaughters are hired to pay them a friendly visit once a month or so. Does it sound like an efficient and sane solution? On the other hand, since the society at large has accepted daycare, why not payed friends from your city council?

The real problem with many Western countries is not "socialism" as too many conservatives are trying to tell us. It's not "capitalism", either. The problem lies in the fact that modern governments  demanded and got all the responsibilities (and authority which comes with it) which in the West had traditionally belonged to the family and the church.

In the beginning of the 20th century in the USA most married women and about 50% of unmarried women didn't have a job. While some were busy helping their husbands on the farm and caring for small children, many had lots of spare time which they used to visit and take care of extended family, create and maintain friendships and engage in volunteering and other activities which like glue, held the society together.

Now when the overwhelming majority of them work, the society is rapidly coming apart. People used to turn to their relatives in the times of need, now they have "emotional support animals" and soon also paid friends. In the meanwhile, children are malnourished and neglected, marriages fall apart, illegitimacy increases and suicide rates are climbing. Is this the law of unintended consequences at work, or was it by design? I honestly don't know and it's probably isn't important any more, either.

What is important, is to try and salvage what's left of the traditional society. Please, take some time to spend with your own parents, elderly relatives and neighbours who need support. Don't shut yourself from the world around you. Drinking tea with a widowed auntie is not a waste of time, it's taking care of your own, as teacheth the Scriptures. Social contacts are important, and if you invest time and effort into building a support network of family and friends, it will pay up in the end.


  1. Very good points! I watched my mother care for her dying father-in-law daily for two or three years. She set a good example of how to wisely use your time during empty nest years. Your post challenged me to think about my own neighbors and family who would love for me to invest in them more.

  2. Thank you, Courtney! I'm afraid that women who stay home are often made to feel guilty for going out and visiting people, like they are "shirking" their homemaking duties. The truth is that human beings and especially women need social contacts and that's what women have been doing for centuries. I'm not saying she should spend her whole day running around, but taking an hour to socialise with a neighbour, visiting elderly relatives, things like that - they can't be wrong, imo.

    One of the big problems of the modern way of life is social isolation. People don't socialise outside of the work world any more, any other communal ties are systematically being destroyed.

    Family means "nuclear family" as parents concentrate solely on their own children, with the exclusion of cousins, nephews/nieces, aunts and uncles etc. Of course, you can't be friends with anyone and some relatives can be very toxic and are better avoided. Its better to focus on those whom you like and who like you in return:)

  3. This is very true. The government is more focused on getting women to work and pay tax, rather than go to their families. In the West we live in a very lonely and separated society, where money is the objective, living alone and 'independently' is what is praised rather than how much quality time you spend with your family. It is materialistic and quite sad, to go against society's expectations, you're the outcasts of the outcasts.

    (Btw I sent you an email :) )

  4. Because an ideal "global citizen" is an atomised, socially isolated consumer without blood or friendship ties whose chief ambition is to buy more low quality trinkets and make the elite rich. If our betters are so upset with people/women not working, why do they never attack trust fund babies and 6th generation heirs/heiress who's never worked 1 day in their lives?

    P.S. I answered your letter.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Exactly! They are tired, mindless drones who don't have the quality time and space to think about how this is all going on so they just keep paying the elites until they grow old and die. That's it, really.

      The feminists/government don't see women as independent and powerful with careers, they see us as extra cash cows to milk for tax.

      PS. I also replied! :)

  5. I see this lonelyness of elderly people every day when I walk my dog. All grannies want to stop and talk to us. Since I enjoy my solitude, I find it often very annoying. But I try to change a few words with them nevertheless.

    I actually think that as long as person can go outside him- or herlsef, ones loneliness is totally a choice. Even if you are old, there are hobbies, there is church. Lots of activities with people involved. One can just put shoes on and go.

    Obviously if one is bedridden or otherwise very weak it is a different matter. But most people whining about loneliness could go out and about. But they just want that someone else will arrange friends to them.

  6. They are often lonely for their children/grandchildren who have better things to do nowadays then visiting their parents. I doubt very much this problem can be solved by substituting them with social workers tho.

    Also church/club activities are once again, structured ones. What is really missing today is normal, spontaneous friendships which used to be common not so long ago.

  7. Excellent post! I have been saying that for a long time as well: we have taken the caring of the needs of the people and given that task to the government. So now when we see someone in need (if we notice at all), we say they are already getting help and we will not bother ourselves with the problems. I feel the church and town should be taking care of their own, reducing tax loads on the people and also acting as its own "governing" of who deserves it and who doesn't. Many folks don't get married because they will lose the government benefits and they lie about where they are living, etc. to get the most benefits they possibly can. Let's get back to offering help to one another again.

  8. Thanks, Unknown! Imo, an important thing to remember is that help is not only something material, like money or even helping someone with the housekeeping. Communicating with others, taking time to listen to their problems, offering moral support is important as well. Sometimes even offering a cup of tea helps! We aren't meant to be islands, totally on our own, we need support networks around us.