Thursday, April 23, 2015

Good Morning, Dear Housewife

Someone told me yesterday that being a housewife is at times an excruciatingly lonely job and how a homemaker would appreciate some daily encouragement which gave me an idea for this post.

So, good morning, dear housewife! Don't forget to drink a cup of tea and to eat breakfast before you start your work for today. Put on some nice clothes. Being at home doesn't mean one should look like one lives under the bridge. You owe it to your family members and to yourself. You aren´t just some domestic drudge, you are the queen of the castle.

Did children leave for school? Or may be, you have no children, or they don´t live at home any more. Your husband is at work so you are all alone, may be with a dog or a cat. Being alone during the day shouldn´t be the reason for feeling blue, look at it as a case for celebration. You are your own boss and you can plan your day the way you see fit and get some rest before everyone comes home in the afternoon.

There is always a lot to be done: laundry, ironing, vacuuming, shopping. Some of you probably have health problems and need to take time for doctor´s appointments for themselves or other family members. When you switch on the news, you hear all sorts of depressing things so it adds to the stress of life. That´s why it´s important to relax and to do some things you enjoy, read a book, draw a picture, visit a friend, knit a sweater. Things like that which make domesticity attractive as opposed to just cooking and cleaning.

Don´t neglect your appearance as your husband will compare you to the women he meets at his office daily. Try always to look your best, it´s a sign of refinement and good breeding. Don´t allow yourself to be pressed by the outsiders into taking the responsibilities you aren´t really up to. Many a husband complains on the internet about his wife pressed into babysitting for less than minimum wage by the two income neighbours or wasting time and money on a home business which brings no profit whatsoever but distracts her from her domestic duties.

Always remember you don´t have to please or impress other people, only your husband. Many men take pride in being a sole breadwinner and if sometimes they sound like complaining it´s more a form of bragging. They don´t really expect you to help with wage earning, they just want to hear from you how much you appreciate their efforts.

Being a housewife may be a lonely job sometimes, but it´s also immensely rewarding. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.


  1. Housewife from FinlandApril 23, 2015 at 4:37 AM

    Thank you for this! It really lifted my spirit. For some reason I have felt couple of days that I am nothing but a maid but you made me feel better. :) I also decided to give myself more leash; I realized that I had started to take a lot of stress about my duties.

    I personally do not mind being alone, but when you know nobody who is in the same situation, it can get lonely. Luckily I have made some new friends who do not judge my choices.

  2. Thanks, Sanne!

    Being introverted really helps, too! :-)

    Seriously speaking, as a empty-nester, I'm enjoying all the things I felt I needed to postpone let's say 10 years ago. I have always been interested in various subjects and I love to do things with my hands, so there never seems to be enough time.

  3. You are welcome, ladies! Glad I could be of help:) I'm going to write a post on how to deal with stress soon.

  4. I like what you have said here, Sanne. Good for you, Miriam for thinking ahead ten years ago when your children needed your attention. Your time has now come. Very unselfish attitude, there.

    I'd like to add, if I may, to find something creative to do. It helps your emotions to have that outlet. Our grandmothers, with no tv, etc, were accomplished doily, rug, quilt, etc makers. This kind of creative outlet must have helped them through any drudgery of daily unappreciated work. Being accomplished at cooking or writing are other good ideas.

  5. Doing things with your hands is also good for your nerves.

  6. This was such a nice letter. Thanks for taking the time to put things into perspective. I agree with what you and others have said about working with the hands. Even if it is just mending that I'm working on, my nerves are calmed almost the instant I pick up the needle and thread.

  7. You are welcome, Jenny! I remember in one of Alistair McLean books there was this lady who sat and knitted while they all were shipwrecked and drifting away in a small boat with enemy pursuing. She has always being an inspiration to me.

  8. When we read books about the early immigrants; the women didn't have phones, cars or even many books to read. We have so much! Life can be lonely - I am home alone all day with no neighbours around me. The wonderful thing is that I can get in my car and visit lonely and sick people, which was much more difficult when the children were little. Every stage of life has beauty in it.

  9. Thanks, Lydia!

    Marietta, yes, you are right, nowadays a woman at home has so many opportunities, and we have the internet and homemaking blogs, too.

  10. Housewife from FinlandApril 24, 2015 at 3:56 AM

    "South by Java Head" was that McLean's book, I guess.

    I personally don't really enjoy working with my hands. I mean I do not get pleasure of the act itself, only of the result. I for example make my own soaps. First I just had scientific interest for the process and nowadays I do it because the soaps are very good, but the process itself doesn't really reward me -only the good result.

    I find it very hard to understand why people use so much time for crafts that really produce nothing useful. In the old days ladies used to decorate their underwear or bedsheets even though that made them less durable and it took lots of time. I really can't see why; was it some sort of arms race between women? My own taste is so plane that I prefer non-decorated sheets and stuff so I just can't see the point.

    Now that was little bit tongue in the cheek. :) But anyway I cannot calm my nerves with knitting or such, I just feel that I have to get it done as soon as possible, and I get irritated if I make any mistakes. That is a great pity. I usually relax with reading but sometimes one is too tired to read but cannot go to bed yet.

  11. Yes, that book.

    I disagree that crafts produce nothing useful. Even embroidery, though it's not my cup of tea, produces (ideally) something of beauty. Is beauty useless? Now, with knitting, it produces a product which is hand made hence unique so that you can be proud of it.

    You sound quite impatient. I used to be like that when I first took up knitting several years ago. It taught me to enjoy process more than the result, though I still prefer to knit while watching something like "Keeping Up Appearances" or "I Love Lucy".

    I have always understood that women did so much crafts because it was considered that "idle hands were the Devil's workshop". BTW, you could try drawing or playing a musical instrument as a hobby. It's usually considered very refined and ladylike, just like gardening:)

  12. I agree with Sanne. My mom has left behind some beautiful knitted, crocheted and embroidered things. Her hands brought beauty and coziness, which we enjoyed.

  13. In our pragmatic century we are taught to value utility above beauty. Just compare medieval architecture with the modern. We have the technology which our ancestors could only dream of, and what do we build?

  14. I really like this post. I as well get frustrated too easily. I will knit but only if it's simple. I am more into getting up and being active as I cannot sit still or I start feeling jittery and depressed.

    I feel better that I'm not the only one home alone all day. There is more time now that the little one is in school all day, but she is still not old enough to stay home alone. I have never felt bored being at home. How could I? When I get my chores done I can work out, run some occasional errands, watch YouTube videos, read a book, play scrabble against the computer, etc... It's not like paid employment doesn't get boring! Heck, even my husband is bored at work some days. It's so irritating that every time a woman does stay home that you can almost bet she'll start babysitting someone's kids or start some home business. I mean, it's like "have to make money, have to make money, have to make money!" Sheesh can't we just be dependent on our husbands and enjoy our lives. I always anticipate when my husband comes home. There was only one time in the last probably 7 years that I was not home when he got home. I was at the doctor with the little one and when I pulled up he was outside waiting on me. :)

    Of course I am the only woman around here at home but oh well. They can live their stressed out lives. I like being home.

  15. Thank you for the post!! I blessed me!!


  16. Housewife from FinlandApril 27, 2015 at 5:47 AM

    Yes, I am impatient and somewhat lazy. :) Now I would love to be able to knit good woolsocks, since both me and my hubby like to wear them (we have cold floors). But since I know the first 10 pairs would be ugly, I just can't get started...

  17. You could donate them to charity:)

  18. Housewife from FinlandApril 27, 2015 at 9:15 AM

    That is one very good idea.