It's not a secret that I often find ideas for new posts by simply browsing the net. So some time ago I read a news site where folks were discussing ISIS (they come often in the news as of late) and related issues. One man was wondering how it was possible that there were women who would choose this type of guy and want to have a relationship with him. His curiosity sounded genuine enough but there was more than curiosity in his attitude. He saw women giving attention to that type of man as "reward" and wondered how can any woman reward a "bad" guy with her love.
I don't know how old this guy was but honestly what I find surprising is that there are so many men who are totally clueless about the way human sexuality works. If they are honest, they'll admit that men are attracted to certain physical attributes in women and that women who are perceived as "hot" are getting much more male attention, even if they have nasty attitudes, than girls who are more pleasant but plain. They understand the laws of attraction when they relate to men, but somehow think that it works different with women.
This ignorance is probably partly explained by the fact that at least since Victorian times (male) authors were writing books where women who had a choice between several men, invariably chose a good if boring guy to his dashing arrogant rival. This was portrayed as a reward for the said boring guy's great moral qualities. I vividly remember reading similar books as a teenage girl and always wondering why my sympathies were all for handsome scoundrels and not for boring "good guys".
Just to give you a couple of examples, one book was a story set in medieval England where the heroine was a daughter of a Jewish convert to Christianity and his English wife, engaged to her English cousin. She got kidnapped by a handsome dashing Spaniard, an illegitimate son of a duke and an Arabian princess with ambitions for the throne of Spain. Predictably, she chooses her boring English cousin, because the other guy "is a scoundrel.'' She also bosses this said cousin around which made him even more beta in my eyes. Well, at least, he was good with the sword even though he normally worked as an accountant.
Another story is probably more famous as it was made into a movie called Quo Vadis. I watched it long ago and also read the book long ago, so I may be mistaken in some details, but the plot goes as follows: a dashing arrogant aristocrat Vinicius who is an army officer falls in love with a girl who is a hostage in Rome and a Christian convert. The girl rejects him because of his wickedness. Later he converts to Christianity and suddenly starts worshipping the ground on which the girl walks and later they marry. Well, personally I always found the arrogant wicked Vinicius in the beginning of the book much more attractive than the grovelling one.
What I'm trying to say is that the idea that women only get sexually attracted to "good guys" is just as ridiculous as an idea that any man would choose a virtuous but plain girl over a wicked "hot" one. Just like men, women are sexual beings and there are certain qualities in men which they find attractive, such as dominance, ambition, confidence and the like; in the same way that men find certain physical attributes attractive in women (we all know which). When you look at it this way as a man, you also won't get bitter because (some) women choose "bad boys". Sexual attraction is neutral, the same way men react to a beautiful woman, without even knowing what her character and morals are.
Now human attraction is, of course, a complex thing, and there is a difference between finding someone sexually attractive and a suitable marriage partner, for instance. You can also socialise both boys and girls to look beyond superficial sexual attractiveness to things which really matter in life; however, the danger lies in the fact that too many people, both men and women see female choices as moral in themselves, i.e. they are taught to believe that a woman will always choose a man based purely on his good morals, and not on other qualities, which appeal to her lower nature.
They effectively deny that a woman can possess this "lower nature" in the way the man does. As a result, we have the situation when grown-up men are surprised that some woman, any woman can "reward" unworthy man with her love. It's never good to deny reality. Let "the pretty lies" perish!