zaterdag 30 maart 2013

The Power Of Positive Thinking


My post on discretion has been featured on another blog and it attracted a lot of visitors, which made me think further about the subject. When I wrote that post I thought about the importance of maintaining one's privacy and also about the propriety of saying certain things in unsuitable social settings, but the discussion on Lady Lydia's went further and switched more to the issue of general negativity some people spread about themselves and whether one should burden others with his troubles.

Till recently I always thought that people should have an opportunity to vent and that complaining about one's problems can have a therapeutic effect but now I'm not so sure. The more you encourage people around you to complain the more they will do it, and while it is uncertain whether they will feel better afterwards, it's fairly certain that you will feel depressed.

There are some people who are simply never happy. They can't enjoy life. They will turn every little trivial thing around them into drama. They will always search for an opportunity to pity themselves. It's probably best to avoid them if you want to try and maintain a positive outlook on life. I'm sure we all know such people. After half an hour in their company one starts getting suicidal inclinations.

The same is true about internet blogs. It's easy to become negative when our civilisation seems to be  unravelling before our very eyes, and it's important to point out the problems we are facing, but it's totally unproductive to wallow in misery and to concentrate on the worst things around us. People lived through worse times than these. Our ancestors used to be tough, they survived wars, epidemies, revolutions, loss of children, financial ruin and they went out and built the greatest civilisation that ever was.

They had a zest for life and they weren't afraid of what tomorrow would bring. I think Kipling expressed it best in his poem IF:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'


... 

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


(Read the whole poem over here )

What I found out is that complaining seldom helps. The more you talk about your troubles, the worse they seem to you. It's always good to minimise the problem, instead of blowing it out of all proportion. It's one thing to ask for friendly advice in a difficult situation, and totally another to drone on and on about how unhappy one is for hours. For the sake of one's sanity it's better not to dwell too much on the negative things in life as it has a tendency to make one bitter and jaded.

                                         
I believe it's especially important for the housewife because she sets the mood in the household. She owes it to her husband and children to create a cosy, warm and cheerful atmosphere at home, so that when they come home from work and school they can relax and enjoy. Also the children nearly always copy their mother's attitude, if she is negative about everything, they will grow up to be exactly the same and will always be miserable.

And your husband who works hard to make a living deserves to come home to someone who is smiling. Husbands like little attentions which add to the home comforts, such as a nice cup of coffee with a piece of cake and a bunch of spring flowers. In short, you may want to give positive thinking a try!


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