Friday, November 10, 2023

The Importance Of Marital Bed

 There was an old lady once (about 20 years ago) whose husband became severely handicapped and had to go into a nursing home. She refused to accompany him, saying that she was still too young and healthy. Next thing happened, that lady's liberal Evangelical (!) church barred her from communion citing "the divorce of table and bed" as a reason. In those less enlightened times, even many liberal churches considered a divorced woman a sinner not worthy to partake in sacraments.

Of course, nowadays we know better. Even fundie wives don't think twice before kicking the old man out of the house the moment he becomes seriously sick and nobody bats an eye. People told me my mother-in-law was some kind of a saint for simply doing her wifely duty and staying with her husband till the end.

Yet, not so long ago, "the divorce (or separation) from table and bed" was a legal concept dating back to the Middle Ages. When I married in the beginning of the 2000s I was told that it was a marital duty for me and my husband to live together. Last time I checked, they don't say it any more. But in the times past, one spouse abandoning the other or denying him/her "the spousal rights" (i.e. s8x) was grounds for legal divorce. 

Marriage wasn't considered a real marriage until consummated (husband and wife having s8x) and even the Catholic Church allowed annulment in this case. Because marriage without sharing the bed and communal housekeeping is nothing more than a sham. Once you deny your spouse these things, you have already divorced him (her), just unofficially. 

I wish these wives who deny their husbands (and vice versa, because it also happens) would keep it in mind.

Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled.


  1. I have always wondered, how they proved that marriage was not consummated? Did they check if wife was still a virgin? But what about her chastity in that case, and what if she was a widower before marriage?

    Also I wonder how terrible the woman in question must have been, if men were ready for that. Imagine that mockery, "so you couldn't *** ** **". Worse than being a cuckold...

    I apologize for being this vulgar.

  2. Well I'm not sure about everyone, but as for royalty they usually had witnesses:) There were also witnesses present during labour, too, at least in France.

    I think it was usually wives who tried to get annulment, on the grounds that the husband was impotent. Because the husband could do it with some wh8re but she could only have her husband. I know in Britain before the Catholic Church forbade divorce, women could divorce on the grounds of the husband's impotency because "everyone had a right to s8x" and the wife wasn't allowed any other man except her husband, but the husband was allowed to sleep with servant girls if single and the like. Believe it or not, they did a court experiment by hiring a prostitute to prove he couldn't get it up, lol!