Redirection

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Are You Better Than Anyone Else?

Here is this unfortunate tendency among right-wingers to be holier-than-thou, which is probably the inevitable result of incessantly criticising modern society (not that it doesn't need criticising, but still...) I can understand secular folks engaging in it, but when I hear professing Christians day after day tearing other professing Christians down, I'm like is it really necessary?

Because guess what? You aren't better than anybody else. You are just a sinner like this pastor you hate so much or this single mother you keep calling a wh*re. They aren't perfect but neither are you. We live in the fallen world which is growing less Christian by the day (at least, here in the West) and everything in it is tainted by the sin Yes, we are called to speak the truth, but we should be speaking truth in love, especially when it concerns our Christian brothers and sisters.

I mean where is charity? Why is it that some folks always assume the worst about other Christians? I've seen it time and again when such topics as divorce come up. While some misguided Evangelicals will go around blaming the men, there are just as many on the opposite side blaming the women. Guess what? I've seen wives divorce good husbands AND I've also seen husbands walk out on their wives. Neither sex has a monopoly on evil.

Some will cite statistics showing how many divorces are initiated by women as the proof of the unique female wickedness. However, the one who files isn't necessarily the one at fault. If the wife is banging her boss and the husband files is he to blame or what? The truth is that all divorce nowadays is no-fault, which means that there is absolutely no way to determine whose fault it was.

Moreover, you can't contest a divorce. You'll always get it. The only thing you can contest is property division and custody, which means that people don't really have to give any reason for divorcing even when asked. Most prefer not to air their dirty laundry in public and will cite "irreconcilable differences" or some such nonsense, which again, doesn't really prove the guilt of either party. The only remedy to this problem would be to go back to fault-based divorce, which many men activists somehow don't propose, though they are quite vocal about abolishing child support which makes cynical me think that it's not divorce per se they are really against.

Going back to single mothers (and here I mean those with kids outside wedlock), there is this unfortunate tendency among more liberal Evangelicals to portray women as victims of men in everything concerning sex. I've read an article recently where the author suggested that the pill was the tool men used on women to free themselves from responsibility. Well, I guess one could view it this way. One could also say that the pill freed women to be sluts, and it would be true, too. Because, you know what? Women also enjoy sex! Especially young women with raging hormones. The pill frees BOTH sexes from responsibility.

So on one hand we have (some) pastors presenting single moms as saintly victims of men's passions. And on the other hand? We have (some) men going on and on about how every one of these women is a horrible human being, past any redemption and how no man should ever want to do anything with them and if anyone ever suggests otherwise, he's just shaming men into "marrying these sluts". Let's be honest: yes, single moms have what could be called "baggage". But...some men in the church will have baggage, too. They could be recovering addicts, ex-criminals, or simply have children from past relationships with attached financial obligations. It's not like all the men are perfect and deserve a perfect spouse, either.

Yet while reading some blogs that's exactly an impression I get. Women come with baggage, like debt, past relationships, abortions etc while all men have a perfect credit score, great job and no bad habits of any sort. It's a mirror image of what feminists are saying about men and I don't see how it is any better. It's not healthy to go around hating half of mankind.

There is a certain arrogance behind this attitude and it's not healthy. Hatred is in any case not a good motivation though one could argue that it's sometimes necessary like during the war. However, if left unchecked, hatred will quickly consume you. As a Christian, I don't want to be motivated by the hatred of other, those who are trying to destroy us,  but rather by love for my own, my people, and I believe in second chances.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

4 comments:

  1. Housewife OutdoorsMay 21, 2019 at 6:08 AM

    Seeing women always as victims is really weird. I just watched a "Call the Midwife" episode, where woman (married woman who already had two children) got illegal abortion because she just did not want third child. She got infection and died. And somehow SHE was the victim and the only guilty part was the person performing that illegal abortion...

    I personally would like to be treated as a grown up human being who is responsible for her actions.

    I, too, believe in second changes. But in my opinion, there should be some remorse, some willingness not to repeat past mistakes. If person does not even see he has made mistakes, there is no point giving him secon change. Example: if person is an alcoholic, as long as he does not admit it, he gets no sympathy from me. Recovering alcoholic trying very hard not to relapse is totally another thing.

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  2. (Some) modern TV shows are full of indoctrination, especially the British ones, it's gone so bad you hardly can watch anything at all these days. BTW, the Church of England was the first to approve anti-conception in the 1930s, why didn't they just use it? Pull out method has been around for ages, even mentioned in the Bible. But anything goes to push the agenda of victimhood, doesn't it?

    I agree about remorse and stuff like that, I just wanted to point out that both men and women could have a "baggage" so to say. Neither sex is sinless or perfect.

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  3. These are wise admonitions. Thank you for sharing your sanity.

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  4. Thank you Elspeth and welcome to the blog!

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