Here is something to ponder on - housework takes time and planning to be done properly. Many women (and men) who disagree with the whole concept of a housewife, will tell you that you don't really need that much time to clean the house. Of course, when you dig deeper, you'll hear how they vacuum once in 3 weeks or less, how the bathrooms don't need to be cleaned every week, how windows are better washed once a year, etc etc.
That's not the only point, though.Generally speaking, a young, high-energy person with a relatively small family and high standards and working less than 40 hours a week can still cram a lot of housework into her day. The problem is, first, as you get older, you get less energy than when you were 20, and second, if you don't give enough attention to it, you are bound to forget things which need doing. Trying to juggle too many activities also leads to higher than normal levels of stress.
When you start viewing household management as a job, not just a number of unrelated chores which can be divided equally between different family members, but as a whole, complex enterprise, you'll realise that even when at times you do delegate some tasks to others, things work much more smoothly when there is one person in charge.
And it's usually the wife. I could give you arguments from the Scriptures, or point to women wanting to take the kitchen back. I know that for some ideologically committed individuals it won't matter what I or someone else says on the issue, and honestly, I could care less. For those interested, here are some statements from DailyMail:
...from the moment he gave up his job, Richard says Louise, 47, failed to see him as a "man".
In short, having a man whose primary function is not as alpha male breadwinner, but domestic drudge just ain't sexy.
Divorce
lawyer Vanessa Lloyd-Platt says that in her experience, the decision to
allow the wife to be the main wage earner will have a detrimental
effect on as many as half of these relationships, and that divorce
statistics in these cases have risen by at least five per cent in the
past two years.
Here is one more:
I realised with horror that I'd lost a
sizeable chunk of respect for that man behind the door, the one with
stubble on his chin and dressed in a scruffy, old pair of tracksuit
bottoms, picking two-day-old lasagne off the front of a child's jumper.
With women it's nearly always what we do and not what we say. Many
divorces aren't caused by the husband's infidelities but rather by his
inability to hold down a job/earn a decent paycheck. But, to return back to the point I was trying to make, sometimes old ways do work the best. If your house is always a mess and you are all stressed out and stretched to the maximum, why not try housewifery for a change?May be you'll like it!
Another point is that men usually just. dont. care. about housework. That is why people argue so much nowadays; women usually have higher standards for housekeeping. So when the housework is divided, the nagging will be endless.
ReplyDeleteI know this from my own experience. When I worked, we had a deal that my hubby vacuums, because I hate it. My husband is actually very tidy for a man, but he didn't feel he should vacuum at a particular day(s) of the week. He vacuumed when he felt like it. Which was usually when there was doghair up to our ankles... Same thing with laundry or dishes; he did those things when he felt like it. And that does not work with housework.
It seems to me that many men do not understand the consistency of housework. Meaning you MUST do it regularly, very regularly, or it piles up and the task becomes too big. They also seem to get very easily very frustrated with the repetition. There is always laundry to do, and when you do it, you know tomorrow will be another laundry day. And this will go on the rest of your life.
Why these things are so difficult to men, I do not know. But that's the way it is: single women usually have very tidy flats, single men -not so. Maybe women just like tidiness more, and have more imagination, so housework is not that boring to us?
I know of just one exception to the subject of a man caring about housework. We knew an retired couple several years ago, and the husband always did the vacuuming every Friday morning. He was very meticulous, didn't rush, and he said that after all the years that his 'little lady' kept house as he worked, he could do the vacuuming for her now. Great blog!
DeleteBefore my husband married, he had his mom come and clean and often ate dinner at his sister's:) But it's because he works so hard. Even nowadays, most men's jobs are more strenuous/high stress than women's. He tells me when he's home he just wants to relax and not to follow a schedule when he has to eat at certain times and stress about whether all the tasks are done before the deadline.
ReplyDeleteWork outside home is stressful, and the person who works whether a man or a woman just feel entitled to rest when they come home. It's a natural reaction to stress. That's why I think traditional labour division works better...
I understand where you are coming from, yes I would 100% prefer to be a housewife. I AM still a housewife, with a home I spend hours cleaning daily so as to maintain a spotless home. I also have no other choice but to work full time, as I am widowed. Not everyone has the option to be home during the day, even if it's what would ultimately work best for them stress and time wise. Financially it might not be possible.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your problems, Becky! I'm glad that in my country, we still have widow pensions. It's probably a good idea for any lady who wishes to be a homemaker in a country without them to ask her husband to take a life insurance as a precaution.
ReplyDelete