Cattiness is something most women will have to deal with in the course of their lives. The modern word for catty is passive-aggressive and this particular form of nastiness is much more typical for females though there are enough men nowadays who also exhibit passive-aggressive traits.
There are two chief ways to be catty, it's either making disparaging and discouraging remarks about things other people hold dear or asking malicious questions, especially about things other people prefer not to talk about. Of course, some folks are just inquisitive by nature and don't necessarily mean harm, but most of us can distinguish pretty well between friendliness and even curiosity vs maliciousness.
Cattiness is often driven by jealousy and the feelings of inferiority. The good example of a catty person in literature is Lucy Steele from Sense And Sensibility. She makes a great show of befriending Elinor but her only objective is to to gloat over the misfortunes of the latter and try to profit from their friendship by all means possible. Elinor, being a much superior individual, never answers her in kind.
Lucy Steele is hardly portrayed as a role model yet by some strange reason many women delight in denigrating each other and being as mean to other females as possible. Sometimes I just wonder why so many ladies who often have good husbands and healthy children appear to be so dissatisfied with their life that they feel the need to constantly attack and demean those of their sisters who demonstrate a modicum of satisfaction with their circumstances. It's like some other woman being content is an insult to them.
Our society in general thrives on negativity. MSM are constantly trying to either shock or guilt trip us, there is constantly a crisis going on apparently; and if things are OK in your own country at the moment you are supposed to worry about the looming WWIII, a civil war in some third world country, global warming (caused by evil Westerners) and stuff like that. It went so far I seldom watch the news any more.
The Bible teaches us to rejoice with those rejoicing not go around spreading doom and gloom and being overall wet blankets and please don't forget that looking at the bright side is a choice!
So true. I like having friends, but so many women are mean and jealous.
ReplyDeleteThere was time, not so long ago, when both men and women were supposed to aspire to have a noble character, yet nowadays even churches abandoned teaching these values. They are already happy if their parishioners don't engage in sin openly.
ReplyDeleteStruggling for making our deepest feelings noble and clean is a lifelong concern and a difficult task too that has been the central goal of Christian life for centuries. Openly sinning is a sign that the intimate inner of our mind and spirit has already been plundered by evil. Man alone cannot fight this evil or corrupt tendencies without permanent support from God, even if society offers guiding and family educates generations properly. It is our human nature that requires a personal battle against unwanted sentiments or behaviour. This every-day fight makes the spiritual life meaningful.
ReplyDeleteIt is also very common that two women mock third one who is absent, in order to bind together. It is so easy to slip to that kind of behaviour when everybody around you is behaving the same way. Gossiping and mocking absent people. I know I am guilty as charged in this case, but I am trying :).
ReplyDeleteI am not envyous or jealous, but I have very strong opinions and I like far too much to gossip about people who do not meet my standards. And people around me kind of support such behaviour.
As I said, I try not to, but it is very hard to draw the line.
Alexandra, even Romans valued a good character though they were Pagans. Western society still claim Christianity as its religion while promoting all sorts of degenerate behaviour. It's quite mind-boggling. I especially like it how they always say in the church, well, at least we are not persecuted yet. Sure something to be proud about for a once Christian country.
ReplyDeleteHousewife, I'm afraid we all indulge in gossiping from time to time. Gossiping isn't always malicious and unless it is, I think it's much less harmful than cattiness. It's one thing to discuss another woman behind her back, she probably won't be much harmed by it. It's quite different to be passively-aggressively nasty to someone's face, maybe ruining her day. It's bad for your health, too. Remember some time ago I published the link to a study proving that dealing with negative people can be detrimental to one's health and lead to serious diseases?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Off topic, Alexandra,I just bought strawberry-rhubarb jam. It's the first time i saw it sold in a shop. It tastes delicious!
ReplyDeleteSanne, what an interesting combination! I recently got one jar homemade raspberry-cherry jam as a present.
ReplyDeleteI should say, it tastes more like strawberries than rhubarb:)
ReplyDeleteBecause strawberries have a strong fragrance while rhubarb has a sour taste.
ReplyDeleteTrue, that:)
ReplyDeleteStrawberry and rhubarb also make a great pie; the tartness of the rhubarb helps balance out the sweetness of the strawberries. My mom used to make it each summer; she used to grow rhubarbs every year, and picked strawberries each summer.
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