Does ADHD exist? Especially adult ADHD? That is, the behaviours those diagnosed exhibit, surely exist, but is the real reason behind it a disease called ADHD or something else? Like anxiety, PTSD, lack of sleep, poor parenting, childhood trauma and other things?
Do you think it should be treated with drugs or differently? Also, how to know if an irritating person you have to deal with has ADHD or is just an a88hole? And how do you deal with them in both cases?
Feel free to write your honest opinion on the matter:)
I have an elderly relative who I've always described as a scatter-brain and a few years ago she was diagnosed as ADD or was it ADHD.
ReplyDeleteI don't think any of the things you mentioned like trauma would explain it. She's only had the normal traumas of living and sleeps well. Doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs other than a very occasional cocktail.
She's able to do things like get to dr. appointments on time, managed her career well but left to her own devices, she is a train-wreck of time awareness and logic.
For example, years ago I and some others were at her house to go on an outing which she planned and would be the driver for. She set the time we'd leave so no surprises there for her.
We sat and watched her flit from one thing to another. Put eyeliner on one eye in the bathroom. Remembered a phone call she had to make so upstairs to the bedroom to do that in private. Back downstairs to look through mail. Back in the bathroom to line the other eye. Then off to look for the shoes she wanted to wear or something. This type of thing went on until we leaving an hour later than planned. And then she couldn't find her car keys which delayed us further. No rhyme or reason to how she did anything.
It's like when something new pops in her head, she has abandon what she's currently doing and go do that thing and on and on.
She is also a distracted driver which scares the hell out of me and my sister.
Regarding driving, she's like pinball shooting around from one place to another. Like say she has to drop something off at her cousin's house which is near me. She will drive 2 towns away to return her library books in her hometown. Then she will drive to my house for a visit and then back home. Logically one would visit the cousin and me and drive to her hometown to the library and then back to her own house.
I've never been able to figure out how she managed her teaching career. Perhaps because it was so structured it kept her in line. Perhaps that used up all her brain power so doing stuff normally in her personal life was/is impossible.
I forgot to add above that my relative and I have 15 years difference in our ages.
DeleteI'm pretty sure she's been like this her whole life. She only got diagnosed in old age. I don't think she's on medication for it as I think she would've told me that when she told her diagnosis.
How do I deal with it? I don't really. I just do things with her that her arriving on time doesn't matter like coming to my house to watch dvds. I know that if she says she'll be here at 7 that it means she'll be here between 7:30 and 8. I just keep doing my own thing at home until she arrives. I tend not to make plans to go anywhere with her.
I used to get so mad because if she can always get to work on time that means she's capable of getting anywhere on time so she must not give a darn about being on time for me or others. That our time didn't matter to her.
But I've softened my feelings on that once I realized why she was probably able to get to work on time like I mentioned above.
I still get very annoyed sometimes.
I would say it probably does exist, but I would also say that in 999 cases out of 1,000 the people diagnosed with it don't actually have it.
ReplyDeleteFor example, in 3rd/4th grade I was diagnosed with it and prescribed riddilin and adderal. I took the pills, unwillingly, but i took them from grade-school to college where at first I kept forgetting to take them. Then realized how wrong I felt while I was on the meds.
It was ... I hate to use the words soul crushing, but I can't think of a better description. When I was on the meds, I just didn't care. I never wanted to do anything, and I was flat out apathetic and nihilistic. The times I wasn't apathetic or nihilistic, I was wrathful. Hated absolutely everything. Granted rage is part of growing up for boys, but not to the level I felt.
When I started to forget to take the meds, most of that started to go away. I found out later that apparently both of those lovely little drugs are to "calm" boys down. That and they have this absolutely lovely little side effect of damaging your neurons.
My two cent is this. The drug companies are making fortunes pushing drugs that aren't needed. The teachers are pushing drugs to make boys more "calm" and act more like girls (compliant and obedient.) Because if boys were allowed to act like boys the teachers; well there is a reason boys were taught by men instead of women.
Like I stated previously, I think it is a thing, but I also know for a fact that the numbers are not that high. The teachers who don't want to deal with rambunchious kids tell the parents they need the meds, and the docs are more than willing to sell them without ever bothering to look.
- W
Thank you for your replies! There always have been such scatter-brained people and they used to make fun of them in the past, you know the stereotype of a scatter-brain scientist? Mostly in those stories they were men.
ReplyDeleteI guess it can be very trying to deal with them but it's hyper part which really makes me wonder. I mean you know the types who talk incessantly jumping from one topic to another, asking a thousand questions, fidgeting etc. Is it just a part of their personality/poor manners or a medical condition? Is it anxiety? Something else? What do you do when they drive you crazy and you start fidgeting yourself?
I think with my relative it's nothing to do with hyperactivity as she talks and moves slowly. And she isn't fidgety either. She just can't stay focused on one thing or be on time.
DeleteI remember the scatter-brained scientists types. My take was they were too focused on whatever big theories or formulas they were working on to realize they wore their pajamas to work or showed up at their own wedding a day late. lol
Yeah and they needed their wives to tell them what to do/care for them:)
DeleteYour relative doesn't sound as a stressed out or anxious type, but how did she manage to function at work?
BTW, one of my cats exhibits ADHD symptoms at times, especially when hungry. She can be so hyper it's tiresome to deal with her. Her mother is quite normal. But this cat had a traumatic experience when she ran away and stayed on some roof for 12+ days without much food or water.
Also, W, I'm really sorry about your experiences. Did you know that now they are diagnosing girls with ADHD too? And even claim it's due to misogyny they didn't in the past? (Because everything is misogyny now, I guess). Also, aren't these drugs akin to crystal meth in action? I saw a discussion on this new RedNote app where a Chinese guy said in China they don't treat it with drugs but use meditation etc.
ReplyDeleteI did not know this, but I am not surprised. I saw someone speaking about a month ago, and he said it had been close to 10 years since he had watched tv. He was house sitting and decided to turn it on. He commented that nearly every advertisement today is for "pharmaceutical Drugs."
DeleteSo no it doesn't really surprise me, though if part of this does, its that it has taken as long as it did to start selling it to women too.
- W
Well, they all swear by this medication and get really mad when someone hints that may be they don't need.
ReplyDeletePoor food-like products and using teflon coated pots and pans, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteWouldn't adults suffer more from it than children because of longer exposure?
ReplyDeleteBecause it's still diagnosed much more in young children.
DeleteThat's logical. On the other hand it might be cumulative; children of the next generation is affected more? Or perhaps it's just a way to handle(get on drugs) all the ''difficult'' children that cannot behave the way adults wanted them to in order to make their life easier... you know, we used to get spanked but...
DeleteAnd some say that if one does not have a diagnose of some kind obviously one has not been examined enough by professionals, lol.
But then again: There is an organization (can't remember which one) which works with the ''labeling'' the diagnoses. I once read that they were debating if introverts need to be given an official diagnose... I was like what!? I mean who defines who is ''normal'' and who is not.
Yeah some of it obviously can be fixed by better parenting. But probably not all...
ReplyDelete