It happens quite often nowadays. The wife wants another child, and the husband says, "3 is enough or 2 is enough". And sometimes even, "1 is enough". Sometimes it's about money, of course, but you even hear it from wealthy couples. So what's the reason behind this behaviour? Are all these men simply immature? That's what many would say, and yet...
I'll give you a historical example. My husband's grandfather had 7 children. He loved all of them and was proud he had so many. It didn't come into his mind that they should may be have stopped after the third one or something. He was not the only one as most men of his generation had multiple children. The pill was not available yet, but the Biblical method was hardly unknown to them and not all were Catholics.
On the other hand. The grandfather didn't change diapers (unless the wife was sick or something). He didn't bottle feed. He didn't babysit in his free time while his wife was getting plastered in a pub in the company of strange men. He didn't do any housework, neither laundry, nor washing the dishes, dusting or cooking any meals or you name it. Grandma did it, and later as the children grew they did most of the chores. He didn't bring the kids to school or pick them up from daycare while his wife was "empowering herself" at work. In short, he didn't do any of the stuff "the good husband" is supposed to do nowadays.
By the modern standards, he was a bad father. But you know what he did? He worked hard the whole day, every day at his business (he was a carpenter and started working at 13). He didn't drink neither visited wh8res and brought all this money home and supported his family. He taught his children manners and respect and discipline and Christian morals. They all turned out well, none was an alcoholic or a junkie or went to prison or something similar. They all married and none had children out of wedlock. In short, on average, they turned out better than many a modern kid.
I only wonder what children the latest generation of "sensitive" fathers will produce, you know the one which likes to stay home and breastfeed while wifey works?
I'd factor in that men growing up before 1980 didn't have the internet. They only learned and adopted parenting/family structure from their own parents. Verses now, guys are able to look into the lives of others on social media and cautiously decide whether raising kids is right for them.
ReplyDeleteMen who don't want to have children usually don't marry at all nowadays (not counting divorced/widowed men who already have children and don't want more in the new marriage). Though there are exceptions, of course.
ReplyDeleteThat is, most men enter their 1st marriage with the expectation of having children. Then something happens which turns them off the idea of having more. Besides finances, could it be the fact that they are expected to fulfill half of the mother's responsibilities while also working and earning a living?
ReplyDeleteI'm just past the half century mark, so I won't be having kids. I sometimes wonder about it, but it would take finding the right person. And the economics are harsh though that's not why you would have them. I would also want to teach them a pro-liberty mindset which is at odds with most of the mouth breathers these days, especially the ones with education.
ReplyDeleteNever say never:)
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be incredibly hard to have both career (or job) and kids nowadays. All housework must be done after work, and one has to drive kids to their hobbies, help wit homework etc. It must be exhausting.
ReplyDeleteIf wife stays at home, housework and homework is done when breadwinner comes home, and he can actually enjoy the company of his children.
Also this modern driving kids to their multiple hobbies is ridiculous. When I was a child at 80's we had like one hobby and went there by bicycle. Parents would have never wasted gasoline for driving their kids to their hobbies. One might also ask, why they must have so many payed hobbies, when in reality most kids are less fit than kids 30 years ago, their fine motor skills are worse etc. Do they really learn anything more worthy in those hobbies than playing outside would not teach?
The result is that most housework is never really done, and cooking has been reduced to the bare minimum.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, parents working as a taxi is ridiculous, especially when the kids are older. My husband had to bicycle 30 minutes to school every day, in wind and snow since the age of 12. Nowadays mommy drives around her son of 18 because it's raining and dear little snowflake can get wet.