Rod Dreher is going to divorce:
It pains me more than I can say to announce that my wife recently filed a petition of divorce, and I have agreed unreservedly to her request for a mutual, and amicable, parting...
I can say (and she has approved everything in this statement) that infidelity was never, ever an issue, on either side. There is plenty of blame on both sides.
Here is what I think. I don't believe in amicable divorce. That's an oxymoron. In divorce there is always a guilty party and an innocent party. It's not only my personal view. That has been the view of the Church and of the secular laws for a very long time, until we got the abomination of no-fault divorce. It's still the view of the Orthodox Church of which R. Dreher is a member.
While I don't know how it is in the USA, traditional Eastern Orthodox Churches only allow divorce for adultery and abandonment, with the guilty party being not allowed to remarry in the church, as a punishment for breaking their vows. Of course, modern Western Christians don't believe in punishments for anything. If there is no adultery and abandonment, or severe addiction or physical abuse, then the one who files for divorce is the guilty party.
It's the party who betrays you. How can you ever feel amicable towards a person who figuratively speaking, stabs you in the back? In this situation, one should fight tooth and nail for the custody, for the property, for anything. Don't let an oath-breaker come off easy. One of the reasons for the downfall of the Western society is our refusal to enforce standards and hold people accountable for their actions.
That news makes me sad. I didn't reaize that in the Orthodox Church there is always a guilty party. I actually agree with that sentiment. It may be true that both people contribute to the weakening of the relationship, the person who pulls the trigger is the one who kills the marriage.
ReplyDeleteIt may be different in American Orthodoxy, as your churches are always more liberal. I heard for Catholics it's really easy to get an annulment, too. But in traditional EO churches, yes, there is always a guilty party. Imo, we'd have less divorce if society still shamed those who destroy their marriages.
ReplyDeleteThat is to say, Western churches in general tend to be more liberal:)
ReplyDelete