Are You Better Than Anyone Else?

Here is this unfortunate tendency among right-wingers to be holier-than-thou, which is probably the inevitable result of incessantly criticising modern society (not that it doesn't need criticising, but still...) I can understand secular folks engaging in it, but when I hear professing Christians day after day tearing other professing Christians down, I'm like is it really necessary?

Because guess what? You aren't better than anybody else. You are just a sinner like this pastor you hate so much or this single mother you keep calling a wh*re. They aren't perfect but neither are you. We live in the fallen world which is growing less Christian by the day (at least, here in the West) and everything in it is tainted by the sin Yes, we are called to speak the truth, but we should be speaking truth in love, especially when it concerns our Christian brothers and sisters.

I mean where is charity? Why is it that some folks always assume the worst about other Christians? I've seen it time and again when such topics as divorce come up. While some misguided Evangelicals will go around blaming the men, there are just as many on the opposite side blaming the women. Guess what? I've seen wives divorce good husbands AND I've also seen husbands walk out on their wives. Neither sex has a monopoly on evil.

Some will cite statistics showing how many divorces are initiated by women as the proof of the unique female wickedness. However, the one who files isn't necessarily the one at fault. If the wife is banging her boss and the husband files is he to blame or what? The truth is that all divorce nowadays is no-fault, which means that there is absolutely no way to determine whose fault it was.

Moreover, you can't contest a divorce. You'll always get it. The only thing you can contest is property division and custody, which means that people don't really have to give any reason for divorcing even when asked. Most prefer not to air their dirty laundry in public and will cite "irreconcilable differences" or some such nonsense, which again, doesn't really prove the guilt of either party. The only remedy to this problem would be to go back to fault-based divorce, which many men activists somehow don't propose, though they are quite vocal about abolishing child support which makes cynical me think that it's not divorce per se they are really against.

Going back to single mothers (and here I mean those with kids outside wedlock), there is this unfortunate tendency among more liberal Evangelicals to portray women as victims of men in everything concerning sex. I've read an article recently where the author suggested that the pill was the tool men used on women to free themselves from responsibility. Well, I guess one could view it this way. One could also say that the pill freed women to be sluts, and it would be true, too. Because, you know what? Women also enjoy sex! Especially young women with raging hormones. The pill frees BOTH sexes from responsibility.

So on one hand we have (some) pastors presenting single moms as saintly victims of men's passions. And on the other hand? We have (some) men going on and on about how every one of these women is a horrible human being, past any redemption and how no man should ever want to do anything with them and if anyone ever suggests otherwise, he's just shaming men into "marrying these sluts". Let's be honest: yes, single moms have what could be called "baggage". But...some men in the church will have baggage, too. They could be recovering addicts, ex-criminals, or simply have children from past relationships with attached financial obligations. It's not like all the men are perfect and deserve a perfect spouse, either.

Yet while reading some blogs that's exactly an impression I get. Women come with baggage, like debt, past relationships, abortions etc while all men have a perfect credit score, great job and no bad habits of any sort. It's a mirror image of what feminists are saying about men and I don't see how it is any better. It's not healthy to go around hating half of mankind.

There is a certain arrogance behind this attitude and it's not healthy. Hatred is in any case not a good motivation though one could argue that it's sometimes necessary like during the war. However, if left unchecked, hatred will quickly consume you. As a Christian, I don't want to be motivated by the hatred of other, those who are trying to destroy us,  but rather by love for my own, my people, and I believe in second chances.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”