So the Twelve Days of Christmas are officially over, and we can move onto other things, like taking out the Christmas tree, finally cleaning the house and following our New Year resolutions (if we have some:). I have several posts in planning, but before writing any of them, I'd like to return to the topic of divorce, since we've had a quite lively discussion about it a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, I've also heard about two more couples separating since then.
Divorce is a plague of modern society, something which we are trained not to notice and pretend that it's not really that bad, and especially never judge because each of us is apparently entitled to his own morals. Strange thing is that when one has a relative or a close friend betrayed by his or her spouse, this non-judgemental attitude quickly goes out of the window, and people start taking sides.
Things went so far that parents are reluctant to leave any inheritance to their grown-up children, for fear they'll lose it through divorce.
I could rant about this topic all day long since it's one of pet peeves of mine, yet going back to the subject which had started the original discussion (men vs women) there is one thing which keeps amazing me. Modern men often appear to have no standards at all. It's been a common knowledge that some guys will, pardon my French, scr*w anything, but at least, our grandfathers' generation didn't marry anything. Well, nowadays they do.
No matter how unattractive and unpleasant a woman is, no matter her sexual history and all the issues following, no matter how many times she was divorced and whether she was a guilty party, there will be some knight in shining armour riding to her rescue and marrying her. It's like men are desperate or something. This total lack of standards continues into their married life. They don't expect their wife to fulfill any wifely duties and are only too happy to take over in the kitchen and in the nursery.
But he does get surprised when she finally divorces him, disgusted among other things, by his total lack of spine. When I read or hear some of those divorce stories I can only shake my head since it was obvious from the very beginning that the marriage in question would end in disaster. So I'm not sure it's a bad thing that manosphere exists, since it gives these men a chance to learn how not to be a white knight, something their fathers (and mothers) should have taught them years ago:)
I have noticed the same thing. But in the cases in know the man doesn't see himself as a white knight. Usually they think that the woman they marry (if they even marry her) is actually "good enough" or if they see her faults they think that she is the best he can get. I know couple of very sad cases where very decent men have married very un-decent women because they want to become fathers and they just believe there is no decent woman for them.
ReplyDeleteSometimes they even do not seem to understand that it would be good idea to expect some character from your children's mother because she gives the half of the genes...
It seems to me that many men lack self-respect, standards and plain old-fashioned common sense. And in general, they seem to think that they are not allowed to expect anything from a women! If they expect something it is looks and employment, not character, domestic skills or virtue.
They say good girls love bad boys, but there are just as many guys from good families going after *itches and low-class trash. Their fathers forgot to tell them that there are girls to bring home to Mother and...well, all the other girls:)
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