When people criticise divorce, they will always point out that its easy availability contributes to high divorce rates (which is certainly true) and name many other factors, too. While all those observations are no doubt, valid, there is one big elephant in the room no one seems to notice, even Christians. I should probably say especially Christians, since they are supposed to marry "for better for worse till Death do us part".
When you marry in the church, you give a solemn oath in front of the witnesses and congregation to stay with each other till one of the spouses die. Not so long ago people used to believe that oath-breakers would spend eternity in Hell (our official liturgy still states it) and it wasn't restricted to Christians, either, as even pagan Germanic tribes believed the same. Plus, divorce without a just cause was considered adultery and it, too, was a mortal sin.
Of course, in our enlightened times we don't believe that ideas and concepts such as honour as in keeping your word are at all important and Hell is something which is seldom mentioned at all. When contemplating divorce one will consider the financial and custody aspects, but not the eternal consequences of their actions.
Frivolous divorce is dishonesty and betrayal, and that is the worst part of it, not the fact that women supposedly get "cash and prizes" (which doesn't happen until you have been married to a wealthy man) and not even the fact that the child will miss contact with one of his parents (usually father); because violating spiritual laws as in breaking a solemn vow is worse damage than simply material losses.
There is a reason society used to shun those who ruined their marriages and it wasn't out of meanness.
It seems to me that honesty and honour are no longer fashionable. It is weird. One would think that even non-christians care what other people think about them. But obviously nobody thinks nothing of oath-breakers anymore...
ReplyDeleteHousewife, I sometimes wonder whether it has something to do with crass materialism of modern times. Because integrity, honesty and honour are abstract concepts and not something material. Our ancestors used to be much more idealistic and good character and reputation were often of more importance to them than crude material gain. I once had heard a story on the radio of a man who was being pursued by the enemy during one of the revolutions and he wouldn't lie even to save his life. That's the way better sort of folks used to be raised. There is a poem called Soldier Of Fortune which I posted on the blog a couple of times, where a young man refuses to deny his Christian faith to save himself from savage warriors even though he is agnostic, because it will kill his honour. Nobody ever would probably know about it, but he knew it would destroy him as a human being. That's something modern folks simply can't grasp because they think of life purely in materialistic terms, like merchants.
ReplyDeleteWow, Sanne, that makes so much sense!
ReplyDeleteI keep telling people we are here FOR EACH OTHER, and for no other worldly reason. But so many don't seem to "get it".
Yes, we all should remember that people and relationships are more important than things and stuff. Nowadays people are often so self-absorbed that they don't have time for each other.
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