The Freedom To Be Yourself

I have been thinking that though our society promotes "tolerance" and "freedom of choice" it will attack those who are not in line with liberalism just as often as the traditional society attacked those not in line with traditionalism (if not more).

What does it mean for a homemaker? First, you aren't supposed to like to be at home. If you are a mother of small children, it's OK to talk about great sacrifice you made when abandoning your career and how one day you are planning to return back to the workforce or to start your own business or whatever. Or, alternatively, you constantly have to prove how busy you are. You aren't expected to have any leisure time or, at least, not to admit to it publicly.

And, yet, though there are definitely women who enjoy to be out and about and working outside home, there are also plenty of ladies who prefer staying home even without/with grown children. Some of them are into crafts, others have a busy social life, or may be, they just spend their days with a book on a couch. It's really none of our business how they choose to live their life and yet they are constantly under attack, sometimes from their own relatives. This ostracism makes it difficult for an average woman to admit that she actually likes being home.

Another example is clothes. Again, we are considered to be pretty tolerant and yet you are expected to daily wear a uniform of jeans and t-shirts, with may be a rather short skirt in between, but if you try to violate this rule, especially if you are seriously into modest or historical type of clothes, you will be ridiculed or, at least, raise a few eyebrows. Women in the West aren't supposed to be modest, quite the opposite.

When I was younger, I was often hurt by the remarks of others concerning my "alternative" lifestyle, but with years I simply ceased to care. Yes, I will freely admit that sometimes I feel myself  "a lady of leisure", that I brunch or lunch with friends while my husband works long hours to provide, that I like shopping and pretty things, that though I like cooking I seldom spend more than an hour making dinner, that when the day is sunny I will abandon housework and spend a morning sunbathing in a friend´s garden, that I watch silly TV series like Keeping Up Appearances and that I would choose an afternoon with a trashy novel above making Power Point presentations in the office.

I´m writing all this not to try and say that good housekeeping isn´t important. Of course, it is, just like cooking nutritious meals and having a tight grip on your finances. I´m also not trying to insinuate that it´s OK to be lazy. It´s just that life at home is more flexible than the rigid working hours of a factory or an office, and once the children are older, you can afford more time for friends and hobbies, and, unless your husband complains, you shouldn´t really feel guilty about it.

Personally I admire women who dare to come out and admit they like frilly feminine things, those who dare disregard the modern conventions and will, for instance, wear long dresses or spend their days embroidering instead of making money. They are brave enough to live their life in the way they see fit, without asking the approval of others first. It´s actually a crazy thing when a woman will write in comments that she would like to dress more femininely but fears the reaction of others. Life is actually too short to pay attention to this nonsense.

If people claim to be `pro~choice` they should accept that some of us will choose a traditional lifestyle.