I'd like to draw your attention to the article called What Rights Do Women Have In Marriage?
Below is an excerpt:
The
second right is that of financial support. A wife should accept and be
content with the level of financial support that her husband is able to
provide. With the rare exception of the husband's extreme disability,
she should not have to leave her home--and more importantly, her
children--behind in order to serve as the primary financial support of
the household.
I remember we used to have a TCM (Turner Classic Movies) channel on the cable years ago, where they were showing vintage movies non-stop. Once I watched an old WWII film about the crew of an American submarine fighting the Japanese. Of course, those war movies were full of propaganda and we should take them with a grain of salt, but I chuckled when the officer was telling his men that things were so bad in Japan that women couldn't stay home but had to work. The guys all gasped in horror and quickly decided to liberate Japan as fast as possible. Now, of course, it's like totally vice versa. Married women having the freedom of guiding the house used to be as American as an apple pie, and not so long ago.
I'd like to add some thoughts about her third point, which she euphemistically calls "fulfillment". I understand what she means but "fulfillment" is rather vague to my taste, because it's something subjective and thus can't be measured. In the times past, people used to talk about "marital debt" which both husband and wife owe to each other, as in not denying one another in marital bed, or at least, not without a good reason such as sickness. For the rest, a very good article.
I left our home for a litle more than a year when hubby got laid off. I supplemeted our income consisting of unemployment and savings this way and spent more days than I thought there due to replacing other voice teachers, so I couldn't have worked elsewere. Well the staff constantly belittled me for not having another job! I am so sick of the people here, they ask you personal questions and then they judge you for it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your bad experiences!
ReplyDeleteVery good post?
ReplyDeleteWe have to accept living against the feminist mainstream. We can't expect people to change their mind after so many years of feminist propaganda. In our country a female politician has just given birth on a Saturday and she proudly said she programmed it because she wanted to start working on Monday as usually. She said feminism is very good, due to feminism she could become a politician and serve her country and other women that were enslaved in a traditional society. With these people governing Europe I can't imagine a revival of homemaking very soon. I'm sorry to say this, too many generations have become feminist and they spread this all around. The last refuge we have is our own family, our own castle to protect from the outside contaminated world. With God as a Protector. This can be done but with slow steps.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, are you not sure?:)
ReplyDeleteAlexandra, it's sad about the politician, but in the end it's her own children and family she's disadvantaging. I doubt everyone who is in charge in Europe shares her sentiments, though.
ReplyDeleteI have never understood why women have children in the first place if they want to go back to work as soon as possible? What is the point of having kids if you do not want to be with them and raise them?
ReplyDeleteWhat I wish is that the respect of one's spouse would come back. I mean in the old days, even if people were forced to marry someone they hated, they would make darn sure to keep their spouses honor untouched, because if someone in family lacks honor, that affects to everbody. So men protected their wife's honor in order to protect their own. In Finland we have this proverb: "Nobody mocks my wife but me." Meaning that no matter how badly husband would threat his wife, he would never allow anyone else to say bad words to her.
What I am trying to say is that we need more respect, commitment and honor in marriages. Because people do not really commit to each other anymore, they do not value respect and honor -you can always get rid off that marriage if it gets inconvenient. Hence spouses do not protect each others honor anyomre. And somehow people in general start misbehaving and treating each other badly.
Ok, my deduction may be little invalid but I believe that society stands and falls with marriages. I would so very much like to live in a society where marriage is possible only if spouse is very violent or something like that.
If one can abandon one's spouse, what else is he or she willing to let go?
Housewife, I think you meant "where divorce is only possible if...", didn't you?
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons we treat family as disposable nowadays is the existence of welfare state which is always ready to protect people from the consequence of their stupid actions.
Yes, I meant divorce, not marriage. :)
ReplyDeleteI tend to think that welfare is consequense, not the cause. I mean there has always been women who have children outside the marriage, and I think welfare was first arranged to take care of those poor children. But things kind of ran out of hands... It seems to me that people are encouraged to have illegitimate children. Or maybe they are legitimate, because people marry and have children and divorce and re-marry and have children... I know far too many people who have done that. I find it rather repulsive. I could never bear children to several men.
The lack of welfare discouraged single motherhood and made women more cautious in their choice of sexual partners. Same with marriage, it was especially in the interests of those who had daughters and sisters to ensure life-long commitment of the husband to his wife. Marriage was meant for protection of women and children. When divorce was made easier, fathers of daughters pushed for alimony laws which MRAs hate so much for the same reason.
ReplyDeleteThe first welfare provisions for illegitimate children, at least in my country were about initially placing them in state-sponsored orphanages and making their mothers work and contribute to their upkeep (and if she married then her husband had to do it), and later giving those children for adoption which didn't exactly encourage single motherhood. Now those women can enjoy the best of both worlds: they get a monthly check and no strings attached. At all. What's not to like?
Western society has reached the stage where "every man is paid for existing and no man has to pay for his sins". I just wonder how long it can be sustained.
ReplyDeleteYou might enjoy the lovely blog by Peace at Home, Daniel's wife. thehousewifescraftblogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLinda, your link doesn't open.
ReplyDeleteI'm SO sorry but you're not going to believe this - I don't know how to send a link. It's tricky enough for me to send a comment via Select a Profile. :) But if you type thehousewifescraft into Google the link/hit to her blog should come up. (Be sure to include the word 'the'.) If that doesn't work I could see if my husband could help me... Thank you for all your work on your blog.:)
ReplyDeleteLinda, is this the blog you meant? Looks interesting, thanks.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thehousewifescraft.blogspot.fi/
About welfare: I think it is good to have some welfare, because all women cannot a) marry or b) work. All men cannot work, either. I think it is right to take care of the weak.
But it would also be good that welfare would not encourage irresponsible behaviour. How this could be possible is beyond my understanding. :)
About Linda's link: there was one dot missing between thehousewifescraft and blogspot. Blogspot seems to change the ending of an anddress depending on the country where you are in, so that is why my link has .fi in the end. (Sanne's blog shows to me: http://athriftyhomemaker.blogspot.fi). So in Holland you could try:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thehousewifescraft.blogspot.nl/
I have never before noticed blogspot changing domain like that, usually the landcode depends on the author's country. Weird.
Linda, you are welcome!
ReplyDeleteHousewife, thanks, the link works now, it's true about domain change. Western society has always practiced some forms of welfare, but certainly not to a degree it does now. The families were supposed to take care of their own, which also meant that certain rules were imposed. Take courtship and marriage, for instance. The reason that the parents had so much to say about one's choice of a spouse, especially in the case of a female was not because of misogynistic oppression, but rather because they had to be sure that the man was trustworthy enough to support her and the kids as long as he lived.
Europe may have different types of feminism in charge working for demolishing the traditional Christian family, not exactly through politicians who give birth and then turn back to work after 2 days of breast feeding (?). But the main idea is that homemaking is something very hated, despised and condemned. But we finally owe everything we have inherited in history to exactly the very traditional way of life including stay- at -home wives and bread-winning husbands. The rights of a wife are granted by her husband in the first line, we cannot count on society nowadays. If husband decides well then I have many proper rights, if husband uses his freedom in a wrong manner, I have very little rights. And the endless rights of men in a society where they don't have to provide for kids or wife are sad and true. Here, we have laws that allow a woman to take care of her children after divorce and the man has just a little duty of providing a small amount if he has any income. But he is not punished for not having provided or protected wife and children during marriage, wife has no right to claim for support during marriage, she has the right to divorce and get a good job. This is not well done at all.
ReplyDeleteFeminists in all countries have done their best to abolish spousal support, or, at least, to restrict it to a certain amount of years. Luckily, we still have widow pensions. Of course, wealthy people marry with a contract which regulates such things.
ReplyDeleteI am so sick of feminism trying to tell me how to lead my life. Everywhere I worked I was always belittled, I just hate it. I mind my own business at home.
ReplyDelete