tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post732825100300125393..comments2024-03-28T12:31:11.055-07:00Comments on Adventures In Keeping House: Is there An Incentive To Destroy Your Marriage?Sannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-33721106039809534762019-10-09T07:56:03.011-07:002019-10-09T07:56:03.011-07:00Mark, I'm very sorry to hear that. Someone tol...Mark, I'm very sorry to hear that. Someone told me that Australia is really very feminist, more so than the US, so it could very well be that most guys who complain are Australian!<br /><br />BTW, men here still aren't content. We recently have had 2 murder-suicide cases, when the wife wanted to divorce her husband and he killed her and himself. Last time it was a police agent who shot his wife and their 2 kids. Men in comments showed sympathy with him and said that it happens when you try to steal a man's children. That's the general mood I guess:)Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-77319331770626561042019-10-09T06:36:35.698-07:002019-10-09T06:36:35.698-07:00Sanne
Europe is very different to the English spe...Sanne<br /><br />Europe is very different to the English speaking world when it comes to divorce. Our legal system is adversarial, combative, it is intellectual combat to determine someones guilt or innocence. That works in criminal law, less so in civil law and works very badly in divorce and custody law. But that is the system. <br /><br />In most cases women will get control of the house because she will have custody of the children. It is not unusual for men to lose all access to their children while still being made to pay child support. To have to pay children support while another man has sex with the mother of your children...and you better be happy about!<br /><br />I know a man who lost his military book collection because it was awarded to his wife. Another who was accused of molesting his daughter, another who was reported because they said he was going to kill is children, not because these things happened but because it would help deny him access to his children. Another who's wife said she was bored and destroyed the marriage even though they had children. These are cases I know of personally!<br /><br />Mark Moncrieff Mark Moncrieffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988061141727262837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-51227445644346169972019-10-09T05:28:07.281-07:002019-10-09T05:28:07.281-07:00That's why I think it's so stupid to blame...That's why I think it's so stupid to blame "women". The society changed so the women changed, too. We could just as well blame "men" for allowing it to happen. Young men nowadays would rather feed the baby then handle weapons or work hard. My husband goes to the shooting range and the average age is like 50+. When so many guys are soy boys and so many girls are more interested in partying and/ or career than motherhood, it's not a wonder that nearly half the marriages fall apart, it's a wonder that not all of them do. Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-3833827797731455492019-10-09T05:23:49.645-07:002019-10-09T05:23:49.645-07:00If the mortgage is on his name or the income diffe...If the mortgage is on his name or the income difference is very big, the chance is that he'll get the house over here and will pay a sum of money to his wife. I know several men who kept the house after divorce.<br /><br />I agree with you but think there is more factors to consider. Here the divorce rates skyrocketed after women went out to work in the 1990s. Modern family arrangements are often quite unnatural plus neither boys nor girls are taught how to be a good spouse any more Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-73405642091536563642019-10-09T04:26:13.536-07:002019-10-09T04:26:13.536-07:00I think men find these situations unfair, because ...I think men find these situations unfair, because they feel FAMILY's property is theirs. For example if family home is sold in divorce, they feel they should get all the money. At least here it will be shared 50/50. They claim they payed bigger part of that house, so it is theirs, bu-huu. And conviniently forget they managed to pay more because their wife was at home breastfeeding their kids... (Even though almost all women work full time here, almost every mother will have 9 months maternity leave for each child. That obviously has an impact on their career.)<br /><br />My solution is: pick your spouse more carfully. Men, do not marry women who are likely to leave you. This means do not marry that sexy lil' prom queen but try to find someone with principles and character. Women, do not marry men who are not righteous and just. Housewife Outdoorsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-80225829421487297532019-10-08T11:24:07.964-07:002019-10-08T11:24:07.964-07:00Here is the link to an official page about calcula...Here is the link to an official page about calculating child support:<br /><br />https://zwangerbuikkramp.nl/gemiddelde-alimentatie-per-kind.html<br /><br />It i in Dutch, so I'll translate some highlights. They give 2 examples, Situation 1 and 2. In both situations the wife earns 500 per month and there are 2 children of 6 and 12/ 4 and 6 who are going to live with her. In both cases, the wife also gets 100 euro per month from the government (standard for families with kids). The first husband is going to pay 421 euros per month, the second 288 but if the children stay with him every weekend instead of every other weekend, he'll have to pay 246 euros per month.<br /><br />As you can see, while the wife's income is the same, wife number 2 will have much less money. Now let's calculate her total income per month: 500+100+246 makes 846 euros per month, less than welfare norm for a single mother of 2 as far as I know. I don't know how can anyone live on it without government help. <br /><br />Wife number 1 is in a better situation, but still far from being filthy rich. One can hardly name it cash and prizes, can he? Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-3616147485104903592019-10-08T08:58:43.756-07:002019-10-08T08:58:43.756-07:00Yes. This is true. I have known a couple of women ...Yes. This is true. I have known a couple of women where the court looked at the formula and said the wife was 60% financially responsible for the child to the man's 40%.<br /><br />In most marriages, the husband makes more money than the wife so the standard memes don't account for the exceptional cases where the wife has to pay.Elspethhttp://readingbetweenthelife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-25956221116611362052019-10-08T08:44:52.382-07:002019-10-08T08:44:52.382-07:00The amount of child support here is dependent on t...The amount of child support here is dependent on the income of both parents, but the guy who earns less is also going to pay less. Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-12914092428083276222019-10-08T08:30:59.659-07:002019-10-08T08:30:59.659-07:00It's nice to hear different perspectives on th...It's nice to hear different perspectives on the issue. In Holland many people still think mothers belong at home yet many women also work (usually part-time), for the bigger mortgage and luxuries. So men are per default in a better financial position. Alimony used to be life long until the mid-1990s, then it was cut to the maximum of 12 years, now it's 5 unless you have children under 12 or are older. This is all thanks to feminists who want all women in the workforce, since housewives have the most to lose in the case of divorce.<br /><br />Those who really profit from it are lawyers and bankers who sell mortgages, imo. Sannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08124283361844607678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-1313800804974514732019-10-08T08:11:42.245-07:002019-10-08T08:11:42.245-07:00Things are a bit different here in the U.S. For in...Things are a bit different here in the U.S. For instance, in my home state (FL) there is still an ongoing battle to reform alimony laws as ours is one of six remaining states where permanent alimony is still in effect. Permanent meaning the wife gets paid until she dies or remarries.<br /><br /> The reality in the U.S. is that almost any mechanism that gives women a leg up is battled over tooth and nail as women's groups do everything they can to give women the advantage in divorce and custody situations.<br /><br />That being said, you're right that very few men make enough money to pay significant alimony. Usually, child support is the most common way of transferring assets from the husband to the ex-wife. I don't have any qualms about child support as much as I do with the uphill battles fathers face when it comes to shared custody, which is battled against precisely because it eliminates the need for the higher income spouse to pay significant child support.<br /><br />So, with all that in mind, I'm going to agree with you because every man I've known who divorced (whether she left or he left) took a pretty big hit financially during the first couple of years as he made adjustments to the new normal. But by five years out, he's usually in a <i>really comfortable position</i> while the ex-wife is perpetually struggling to make ends meet and more stressed out. Unless she remarries and sometimes even then.<br /><br />Divorce doesn't come with cash and prizes except for among the fabulously wealthy. Keep in mind though that for many men in Internet land, being forced to pay an ex-wife as little as $1000 a month seems like too much even if it's to house and feed the kids. <br /><br />I mean...who KNOWS what she's doing with that money??? (/sarc) <br /><br />Elspethhttp://readingbetweenthelife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-44460138943387476152019-10-08T05:49:37.977-07:002019-10-08T05:49:37.977-07:00I must say that in Portugal everywoman works till ...I must say that in Portugal everywoman works till retirement age, which is very late, and the few ones who don't work are given a side eye. <br /><br />And I agree that divorce doesn't seem good in any aspect of life, let alone economically.P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10713616744985615258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3139017677124620997.post-44502493967165188382019-10-08T05:22:21.115-07:002019-10-08T05:22:21.115-07:00Here in Finland alimony has not existed for decade...Here in Finland alimony has not existed for decades. Maybe not ever. I have never, ever heard ex-husband paying single euro for his ex-wife. Property is divided (assumption is that married couple is a unit that creates their property together), but when the divorce is settled, he does not need to pay a cent for her. <br /><br />Child support, is of course, another thing. It often seems to me that Men Of Internet do not understand that child support is for the children, not for their ex. They also do not seem to understand how costly it can be to feed and clothe kids....<br /><br />In general, women divorcing their husbands ruin their own economy once and for all. It seems to me that divorced men usually do financially better, because they have better paying jobs. Almost all women here work full time, but mothers usually do not make as much money as fathers. <br /><br />Divorce is the worst economical decision one can make. Especially here: most often parents will have week-week-custody, meaning kids they one week with mother and one week with father. So instead of one house large enough for the family, two houses are needed. If the couple stayed together, there would be two incomes for that one house/flat. Now there is one income for one family-sized house/flat... Economically divorce makes no sense. (Sometimes kids are mostly with their mother but every other weekend with their father. Kids are supposed to have their own rooms anyway in both places, you cannot make your kids sleep on the living room floor. But week-week-arrangement is the norm.)Housewife Outdoorsnoreply@blogger.com