Choosing A Mate

In her book The Fascinating Girl Helen Andelin devotes a whole chapter to the topic of choosing a mate. She starts with suggesting to pray for God's help in choosing a husband, but also points out that the woman should do her part, too.

Mrs Andelin reminds her readers about the importance of making the good choice as your future husband will be your companion and  the father of your children, and states that a young woman should seek a man of a worthy character, but also that she should strive to become a woman of worth herself.

There are things which aren't really important to marital happiness, such as the colour of a man's eyes or his height, or his popularity with women. More important are such virtues as honesty, integrity and high moral standards. An ideal man is the one who has a sense of right and wrong and moral courage to follow his convictions. He respects the higher authority, keeps his commitments, is diligent and unselfish, free from arrogance and has consideration for others.

Mrs Andelin also suggests to look for intellectual skills and abilities, such as a good basic education but also wisdom and good judgement. The next on the checklist are his masculine traits:

Does he look and act like a man? Does he face life with manly courage? Would he make a good father, a good leader of his family? Is he aggressive and decisive...?Is he planning a career which would provide for his family adequately? Is he...chivalrous? (p. 186)

When evaluating the prospective husband, Mrs Andelin advises to discuss different topics with him, so that you will discover his attitudes about such important things as family life and his future plans, his ideas about religion, raising children and money. Is he materialistic and worldly? Does he have an unwholesome drive for status and money? Is he selfish or does his life have a higher purpose?

I'd like to add to this that if you want to be a housewife, you should make it clear beforehand that you are not planning to work after your marriage. If his idea of a family is a dual income household, you should probably find someone else. The same goes for men who explicitly state that they don't want to have children. Men generally mean what they say, and if you think you are going to make him change his mind you might be in for a rude awakening.

The next post on this topic will be about which men to avoid. . 

Horatio Hornblower

It took me a long time but finally I finished a book called Mr. Midshipman Hornblower, which is a story about the adventures of  a Royal Navy officer during the Napoleonic Wars. The first Hornblower novel The Happy Return was written in 1937 by Cecil Scott Forester, an Englishman born in Egypt. Mr. Midshipman Hornblower was written much later, in 1950, but if you read the series in chronological order, you should start with this one as it covers the period of time from 1794 till 1798.

While later in life Horatio goes on to become an admiral, we first meet him when he is just 17 and goes to sea for the first time. He is taunted by other midshipmen who are all older than him and even thinks of committing suicide but it all changes when he challenges his principal enemy to a duel. Though nobody dies, Horatio gains a great deal of respect, is soon transferred to a better ship and thus embarks on his brilliant career. In the end of the book he is 21 and already a lieutenant.

The book was great fun to read and having been written a long time ago it was rather politically incorrect as well, which naturally added to its charms. It consists of 10 chapters which are a separate story each of them. There was a great deal of fighting, though no gory details, but also no romance, though from other books we know that Horatio will marry and not once, but twice.

There was a 1951 movie with Gregory Peck called Captain Horatio Hornblower which shows an older Hornblower  and tells us the story of his love affair with Lady Barbara. I watched it on YouTube last year but it disappeared ever since and the only thing I could find was a trailer. It was a nice film with good actors and I can recommend it to anyone. There was also a recent TV series which is also on YouTube, which I haven't watched so I can't say anything about it, good or bad.

Mr. Midshipman Hornblower is a nice old-fashioned adventure story and it's suitable for anyone to read, yound and old. 

Some Interesting Links

Matt Walsh on respect wives owe their husbands

Bruce Charlton on the dangers of social networking services

A review of The Hobbit Part 2 

Beautiful pictures of winter in Ontario by Will S.

Full skirts are still very much in fashion

Female ice skaters costumes used to be more modest

Free Love and conservatism

The Fascinating Girl

Probably not everybody knows that Helen Andelin, the author of "Fascinating Womanhood" wrote another book for unmarried women called "The Fascinating Girl" where she gives advice on how to find a good husband.

In the Introduction she writes about the secrets of winning men, and points out that women should try to attract men of good character and warns about dangers of premarital sex. Mrs Andelin warns young women that a man's desire for you as a sex partner is no indication he desires you for a marriage partner, and what is more important, premarital sex is a grave sin before God.

She further points out that in our modern society a woman is on her own while searching for a marriage partner, with little help from parents or acquaintances, and she has but a short time to do it, thus the necessity of her book.

"The Fascinating Girl" is divided into three parts, titled The Angelic Qualities, The Human Qualities and Strategy With Men. The first two parts are basically "Fascinating Womanhood" adapted for single women, while Strategy discusses such interesting topics as Choosing a Mate and Where to Meet Men. 

I'm planning to write about this subject in more detail when I have time so stay tuned! 

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Found at Project Gutenberg: the complaint of a divorced man from the year 1709. Called The Pleasures of A Single Life, Or The Miseries of Matrimony.

Wedlock, oh! Curs'd uncomfortable State,
Cause of my Woes, and Object of my hate.
How bless'd was I? Ah, once how happy me?
When I from those uneasie Bonds were free;

The author then proceeds to describe in great detail how happy and peaceful his life used to be, until the Cursed Fiend from Hell brought a woman upon his path, who was extremely beautiful (probably a 10!)


Beauty she had, a seeming Modest Mein, }
All Charms without, but Devil all within, }


And thus he married her:


Thus thro' mistake I rashly plung'd my Life
Into that Gulph of Miseries a Wife.
With joyful Arms I thus embrac'd my Fare,
Believ'd too soon, was undeceiv'd too late;

It didn't work out too well though, as his wife was a habitual adulteress. He tried to appease her at first, but it only made matters worse:

I strugled hard, and all my Passions chekt,
And chang'd Revenge into a mild Respect,
That Good for Ill return'd might touch hear near,
And Gratitude might bind her more tan fear;
My former Love I every day renew'd;
And all the Signals of Oblivion shew'd;
Wink'd at small Faults, wou'd no such Trifles mind,
As accidental Failings not designed.
I all things to her Temper easie made,
Scorn'd to reflect, and hated to upbraid...

Thus the new Covenant I strictly kept,
And oft in private for her Failings wept,
Yet bore with seeming Cheerfulness those Cares,
That bring a Man too soon to grisled Hairs...

 For after all the Endearments I should show,
At last she turn'd both Libertine and Shrow,
From my Submission grew perverse and proud,
Crabbed as Varges, and as Thunder loud;
Did what she pleas'd, would no Obedience own,
And redicul'd the Patience I had shown.
Fear'd no sharp threatnings, valued no disgrace,
But flung the wrongs she'd done me in my Face;


He finally got enough when she switched to his servants because men of her own class wouldn´t have her any more, and filed for divorce

 On these just Grounds for a Divorce I su'd, }
At last that head-strong Tyrant wife subdu'd, }
Cancel'd the marriage-bonds, and basterdiz'd her brood. }


then swore to become MGTOW for the rest of his life


Farewel Church-juggle that enslav'd my Life,
But bless that Pow'r that rid me of my Wife.
And now the Laws once more have set me free,
If Woman can again prevail with me,
My Flesh and Bones shall make my Wedding-Feast, }
And none shall be Invited as my Guest, }


It´s probably good to remember when searching for a wife that appearance is not as important as virtue

Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 
(give this clumsy girl with glasses a chance,she may have a heart of gold!)

Read the whole poem over here
 

Feminist vs Traditional Family Formation

Modern liberals promote the following model of family formation for women: spend your twenties and early thirties studying and working on your career. Enjoy casual sex until the age of 35+. Find a perfect husband Mr Right. Marry and have 1-2 kids. Put them in day care and go back to work (at this point you are allowed to stay home though if you really wish to, but then you should be engaged in some art project or home business or writing books or whatever). If you are tired of your husband, you can divorce him and find a better guy, or better yet, become a cougar and revive the glorious days of your youth (getting some nasty STD in the process).

Conservatives didn't like the liberal script for women so they came up with their own: marry right out of high school, the first guy who comes along. Have children (preferably several, as it's your duty to your Fatherland). Stay with them until they are old enough to attend school. Go back to work - now it's time to study and have a career! Really conservative Christians suggest homeschooling, so that you can start working on your glorious career at the age of 45.

Have you noticed any similarities between the two scripts? They differ on casual sex and the best age for having children, but  both liberals and conservatives expect women to work outside home for the most part of their lives, whether before having children or afterwards.

I suggest another plan: traditional family formation (you know the one which was actually widespread in the West before modern feminism): get some education enabling you to provide for yourself when needed and/or a couple of years of working experience. Marry at +/- 25 and choose a guy capable of supporting a family on his income only. Have kids. Don't work outside home, let your husband be the family breadwinner. When the children are old enough not to need constant supervision, try gardening or taking piano lessons. Enjoy your life.

Valentine's Day

Het Oude Slot (a medieval castle in Heemstede, which has a Victorian tea parlour).

An 18th century mill in Heemstede:

 (Unfortunately, the weather left much to be desired, as it started raining heavily, that's why the pictures are so dark).

Above and below is Cruquius, a Victorian steam mill:

 A Victorian tearoom:

All in all, it was a nice day, despite the weather!

Does Everyone Have To Get Married?

We live in the times when both men and women are encouraged to pursue nihilistic hedonism and treat others as commodities. Our society is incredibly materialistic to the point that the only thing which matters officially is whether the economy is doing well, and modern people prefer watching TV and updating their Facebook pages to going out and socialising with their neighbours and friends.

This state of things inevitably creates a reaction, especially among the (remnants of) conservative Christians, and even secular people who support the return of a more traditional society. One of the institutions so viciously attacked by Progressives is the traditional Western marriage, and this attack has been going on since at least the 19th century. It's very understandable that these attacks cause a backlash, but sometimes I wonder if it's not carried too far.

I'll try to explain my point of view in this post, though I by no means claim that I have all the answers, so the readers' feedback is appreciated.

It has been pretty normal in all more or less advanced societies that men and women after they reached certain age, married and got children. Yet, there always were exceptions. I guess most of you heard about Vestals. Of course, they were expected to stay virgins during the time of their service. After serving Vesta for 30 years, they were allowed to marry, though they would be at the very least 36 years old. Roman legionnaires weren't allowed to marry either, as long as they stayed in the army.

When Europe became Catholic, there appeared convents and monasteries, and it was a respectable choice to stay celibate, for the sake of serving God and fellow man. Nuns used to run schools and hospitals, until very recently. The 19th century saw the introduction of deaconess nurses in Protestant countries (here is a Wiki article on the history of nursing).

 Things changed after the Reformation, and even though I'm a Protestant myself, I think that the Reformers were wrong when they closed the convents and told every woman to go find a husband. Convents produced an outlet for those ladies who didn't want to marry, they were busy with productive work and performed a valuable service in the medical field. Nuns were respected, old maids were ridiculed, which could have driven some of them to join the feminist movement.

In Protestant circles there is still a heavy accent laid upon marriage, to the point that singles feel excluded. It is understandable, considering that they have to counteract incessant feminist propaganda telling women to disdain marriage and bearing children for the sake of a career as a PDF presentationist (as one of the commenters put it) and the pleasures of illicit sexual relationships. Women are expected to be fully autonomous, free from any restraints and to live like a man.

This is certainly a destructive ideology, but it's not necessary to fall into another extreme, either, and to declare that all the females above the age of 16 should be married immediately and never go out of the house (yes, I'm exaggerating here, but I think you get my point). As it appears, the average marriage age for women in England used to be 25 from 1200 to 1800.

The way I see it, in a sane society the majority of women would be oriented towards marriage and motherhood, full time homemaking would be seen as a respectable occupation, and mothers would not be taught that putting 6 weeks old baby in a day care is the case for celebration. On the other hand, there would be an option for single women to pursue employment in suitable occupations such as nursing or teaching small children, and they would be respected for their service. Having sex and children outside of wedlock would be discouraged.

 In the meanwhile as we don't live in a sane society, while we should promote traditional family, support motherhood and homemaking and refute feminists' lies, it's quite possible to do so without bashing singles, many of whom became victims of the antifamily propaganda or simply couldn't find a suitable marriage partner.

Is The Duchess Of Cambridge Expecting Again?

Normally I don't pay attention to society gossip, but I decided to make an exception in this case, since a lot of people seem to be fans of the British Monarchy and some of them read my blog.

So according to this article, the Duchess of Cambridge may be three months pregnant and Prince George will be getting a brother or a sister soon. Kate Middleton has been constantly attacked by feminists for not having a career.  After her marriage, she was called a  Jane Austen character with no opinions.  Now the commenters are criticising her (and her husband) for getting pregnant again and so soon after having her first child.

The whole story could be a hoax, but since feminists seem to react to Kate in the same manner as vampires react to garlic, she sure must be doing something right.

What Have You Done For Economy Recently?

So the Swiss have essentially snubbed the EU and voted against unrestricted immigration. One paragraph of the article in particular drew my attention:

Political scientist Claude Longchamp of the leading GfS Bern research and polling institute noted: “It is a key moment in the recent history of Switzerland. For the first time voters put their own concerns ahead of those of the economy and came against the free movement of people.” (emphasis mine).

In the times past people were taught to sacrifice for God and Fatherland. Now we are apparently supposed to do the same for the economy. I have noticed one thing: when the government wants to present a positive picture of the current situation, they never talk about people having better and more stable marriages, raising children well or any such thing. It's always along the lines of growing economy or economic recovery or something similar.

Economy has become a new god and a jealous one, because it's all consuming. Mothers are supposed to place the infants as young as 3 months in the daycare and get back to work, for the sake of economy. Communities are being destroyed by uncontrolled immigration in the name of economy. And now the unthinkable happened - a group of people voted for their own interests, instead of those of the big businesses. Oh, the horror! What is this world coming to???

The Joys Of Housekeeping In The Suburbs

The table featured in the picture above was made by my own dear husband whose many talents include making furniture as well:)

I have a confession to make: I'm not much of a gardener! It's not exactly that I have a black thumb, but by some reason plants often seem unable to survive in my care, especially plants in our bedroom. The lack of light seems to be the main reason. When I finally felt obliged to throw away my latest acquisition, I turned to Google in despair and found the Top 10 Hard to Kill House Plants.

So now I'm a happy owner of Crassula Ovata The Hobbit:

Why Hobbit? Why not actually? At least, they didn´t call it The Ork:)  Crassula ovata is also known as jade plant, and is a succulent which comes from South Africa. It requires little water and doesn´t need much sunlight, either. If you want to know more about it, here is the Wiki link.

In other news, I needed some paper liners for muffin cups, and that´s what I got:

Aren´t they cute? I like them more than the plain white ones. With constant darkness outside (the weather around here at the moment is rather awful), you surely appreciate something bright in your kitchen! 

Homemaker's News And European Folk Music

I had a busy day today. First I had to go on a visit and we spent time quite nicely,  drinking tea, eating cake, gossiping and discussing world economic crisis. Then the weather changed for the worse and I decided that the rainy afternoon is the best time to clean the living-room.

It's been the first time the room got a deep cleaning since my housekeeper left me, and after thinking the matter over, I came to the conclusion that it's always better to do your housework yourself than to outsource it. I remember I read somewhere that the cleaning lady only cleans the centre of the room. Well, it's true. The windows got washed, but all the nooks and crannies never did. The dust was so thick, you could basically take it out with a spoon.

I spent something like two hours dusting behind the TV table and wiping the radiator and my husband had to order a take-out since I was completely exhausted when he came home, and I had to bake bread, too! Just like with everything else, the principle of  good housekeeping seems to be if you want the job done well, do it yourself!

It's interesting that I just read a discussion on domestic servants where all the gals were nostalgic about them good old days, when you had a live-in cook and a maid, not to forget the butler and the gardener. It sounds very romantic, but in reality, it's not. You lose your privacy and the whole relationship balance gets disturbed by the presence of strangers in your household. It can be necessary sometimes, and if you can afford it, why not, but personally I prefer to do my own housekeeping.

In other news, my husband's colleagues got very interested in the muffins from yesterday and asked him to share, so now I'll have to bake muffins for all of them:)

I'm leaving you with this video from Rapalje, it's a cover version of The Crown and the Ring by Manowar, and I'd say a very original one; Eric has a better voice imo, but the music is awesome. We watched them perform live in Archeon last year:




Have a nice evening!

Cranberry Muffins

(Yes, I know it's February and I have to change the Christmas tablecloth:)

Dear reader, have you ever had things disappear in your house? Have you ever been confronted with the mystery of unmatched socks and strange stains on your best linen napkins? I always used to think that disappearing objects got transported to another dimension where someone probably needed them more than me, but recently found out that it's not always the case:)

It went as follows: my husband had to do some domestic repairs in the master bedroom, and accidentally found a magazine behind the bed which a dear friend sent to me years ago. It was Southern Lady, the Christmas edition. It has some great recipes, too. Christmas season can be behind our backs, but I still have some cranberries in my freezer, so today I tried my hand at cranberry muffins, changing the recipe slightly. Let me tell you, they are delicious!

Here is the recipe:

For the muffins, you will need

1 3/4c white flour
1/4c whole wheat flour
1c brown sugar
2tsp baking powder
1/4tsp salt
1c frozen cranberries
2 eggs
1/2c melted butter
1/2c milk
1/2c sour cream

For the crumble topping, you will need:

1/4c sugar
1/4c white flour
1tsp vanilla extract
ground cinnamon to taste
1tbsp melted butter

Start with making the topping: in a small bowl, combine the first four ingredients, add butter, stir until crumbly and set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and cranberries, stir together. In another bowl, whisk together eggs, butter, milk and sour cream, add to the flour mixture and stir just until moistened. Don't over mix the batter! Fill the paper lined muffin cups (they will be nearly full), add the topping. Bake at 200*C (400*F) for about 20 minutes, cool before removing from the muffin pan. Yield: 12 muffins. Enjoy with family and friends!

1940s Ads: Food And Beverages

February 2014 Links

A story about fabulous older people:
102-year-old Frenchman breaks own cycling world record

Positive emotions prevent disease:
Emotional Style and Susceptibility to the Common Cold

The most important therapeutic drugs:
Steroids

Why Christians must judge:
Christians must exercise discernment


Married women and work:
Married Women Should Not Work

On foreign aid:
Foreign Aid and Traditional Conservatism

How women were persuaded to start smoking in the name of emancipation:
Democracy and the Occult Arts